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At 10 pm, there was an 'urgent' knock on the door. Actually, it sounded like someone was trying to break the door down.
Nate was almost asleep on the couch, but instincts took over and launched him up to his feet. He snatched open the doorknob, ready to accost whomever was disturbing the quiet of the weekday night.
He was stopped in his tracks by what was on the other side. A pair of female legs, hips… that was all. Nothing above her waist.
The legs immediately came inside.
Adrenaline still pumping, Nate tried to find words. Reasons. Something.
"Claire, is that you?"
The legs bobbed up and down. They certainly were Claire's legs. She was still wearing the same pair of tan Patagoina pants from earlier. Before she'd gone over to Allison's place.
The pieces began to fit together. They'd been experimenting with magic. Nate knew this. The facts, unbelievable as they were, began to fall into place for him. His girlfriend's legs, sans torso, alive, in their shared house.
"What happened?"
The legs did not reply. Their balance shifted from one foot to the other.
"Where's the rest of you?"
The legs bounced up and down on their toes. Whatever that was supposed to mean.
Nate got his cell phone out and Claire's number. He heard it vibrate in her pants pocket. So much for that idea.
"Is the rest of you on the way?"
The legs tapped their foot. Her foot.
"Okay, can you hear me? Tap your left foot if you can."
She tapped her left foot.
"All right. So left foot is yes. Right is no. Okay?"
Her left foot tapped.
"Are you all right?"
Left foot again.
"Is there more of you somewhere?"
This time the right foot.
"So you're just a pair of legs?"
Left foot.
Nate took in a deep breath. He exhaled. "What happened? Oh wait, you can't really… can you write?"
Right foot.
"Okay. Yea. That would be silly. Did Allison do this?"
Left foot.
"Where is she?"
Another knock on the door. Nate snatched open the door quickly.
Behind the door was Allison, out of breath. She was wearing a backpack.
"Oh my god, she's fast like that," said Allison. "But I was just checking to see if she made it back…"
"What the fuck?!"
"Hang on a second. I need some water."
Allison came inside and set the backpack down on the couch. Nate smirked at her and watched her go over to the fridge and get out the Britta pitcher, then pour a glass of water. She gulped it and wiped her forehead.
"Okay," he said, "What'd you do to her?"
"What does it look like? We poofed away her upper body."
"All right. That much is obvious. Why?"
"Because she bet me I couldn't do it."
"And why didn't you poof it back?"
"Because she ran away!"
"And here she is. Bring her back."
"I'm not sure if she wants that. If she did, wouldn't she have stayed?"
"How about we ask her. Claire. Want to be restored?"
Right foot.
"No? Really?"
Right foot again.
"Does right foot mean no?" asked Allison.
Left foot.
"Yea, we just established that. That's when you showed up. Sorry I freaked out, it's just a lot to process. Kind of like last weekend."
"When we poofed away your arms and legs?"
"Right. See if you'd asked beforehand—"
"If we'd asked, you'd have said no!"
Nate let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes. However. Waking up to be a quadruple amputee is kind of one of those things."
"I didn't mind it."
"But you knew about it first too! It wasn't just 'Hey, wake up. You're limbless! Also magic is real. Deal with that.'"
"I guess not. But anyway. She likes it like this. Right Claire?"
Left foot.
"See?"
"So how long does this one last?"
"About twelve hours. Kinda like last time."
"So the rest of her will be back in the morning. Fine."
"Well, not all of her."
Nate rolled his eyes. "What else?"
"Well, like I told you, we made a bet that I couldn't poof away her whole upper half. And the bet was her head against mine."
"You bet your heads?"
Left foot.
"I'll show you," said Allison.
She picked up her backpack and unzipped it. Out of it she pulled Claire's detached head.
"Claire?"
"Not Claire," said Claire's head. "I'm Allison's head now."
"I don't even… how in the world are you Allison's head?"
"Because of the bet," answered the head.
"So who am I talking to right now?"
The head seemed to consider this. "I suppose I'm Allison."
"How about this — who's memories are inside you?"
"I can remember everything back to the moment of the bet. Which was about five minutes ago."
"This is… Claire," said Nate, turning towards Claire, "That's not your head?"
Right foot.
"We're still figuring out how this works," said Allison. "Apparently, that's my other head. We're kinda in sync with each other."
"Like how? You can see out of both heads?"
"No, but I know what she knows and vice versa."
"So you don't have any of Claire's memories?"
The head tried to shake itself. "No."
"How long were the terms of this anyway?"
"Until the weekend."
Nate threw up his hands. "Okay. Fine. My girlfriend is now just a pair of legs. And her head was lost in a bet. Any other surprises?"
"That's about it," said Allison.
"Good, because that's about all I can take right now. Claire you're really okay with all this?"
Left foot.
"Really?"
Left foot again.
"So what do you want with her head anyway?" asked Nate.
"I was gonna wear it on a date tomorrow night. Her curls are really cute!"
Nate opened his mouth, about to speak. Then he stopped himself.
"What?"
"You're taking my girlfriend's head on a date? And you seem to think I'm all right with this?"
"It's my head now," said the head.
"Either way, you're going to look like Claire. And so some other guy is going to think that he's on a date with Claire."
"Except that I'm Allison," corrected the head.
"Except that you're Allison. Regardless, do you see the problem here?"
"Hmm… I guess so," said the head. "I'll tell him this is not my usual head, how about that?"
"If he buys that, I suppose that's fine. You know what, don't worry about it. We'll just… I don't know. Fine."
"Do you think she needs a head?" asked the head.
"What kind of question is that?"
"Well like to eat and stuff," said the head. "I mean, she could borrow yours…"
"I …"
"What about my other head," said the head. "Allison's head."
"Wait," said Allison. "I'm not just gonna give up my head."
"You're right," said Allison's other head. "Maybe a bet."
"A bet?" said Nate.
"Your head versus mine," said the head.
"Fine. It'll be less weird I suppose if neither one of us have heads."
"Let's flip a coin," said Allison, taking a quarter out of her pocket. "Call it."
"Oh, lessee. Heads," said Nate.
Allison flipped it. "Heads it is," she said. "Dang."
She reached into her backpack and removed a magic wand. She drew it across the base of her neck at her shoulders, leaving a faintly glowing blue line. Setting down the wand, she held her head with both hands and began to twist it back and forth. Suddenly, it came loose with a popping noise.
"That … was absolutely bizarre," said Nate.
"It's still feels pretty weird actually," said Allison's newly detached head. She handed it to Nate, who took it cautiously.
"So are you Claire's head now?"
"No, you have to attach me to her first."
Allison's headless body picked up her other head, and set it on her shoulders. She stretched her new neck back and forth.
"Okay," said Allison. "I'll be going then."
"Right," said Nate. "Please don't … be careful with her head, okay?"
"You're sweet. Have fun."
Allison picked up her backpack and left.
"All right, Claire. I don't know what's going on, or if this will even work, but … here."
Nate set down Allison's head on the middle section of Claire's waist. The new head blinked a few times, then turned back and forth.
"Woah," said Claire. "That was weird."
"You don't say. So. What happened?"
"She pretty much told you."
"So why'd you come over here?"
"Because I wanted to show you! This is so cool!"
"And you're really all right?"
"For the hundredth time, I'm fine. I love being this way! Actually I liked it better when I didn't have a head, but this is fun too. I'm super cute, don't you think?"
"You're always super cute."
"And you're quite the gentleman for saying so. But it's just soo… different. I love it. I feel so light, and just want to run around."
Claire sat down on the couch and looked at the seat next to her. "C'mon, sit down. Actually, you look like you need a beer. Get one for me too. Might as well use this head while I've got it on."
Nate went to the kitchen and came back with two bottles of beer.
"Sorry for losing it," he said, "It's just…"
"A lot to take in. Thanks for being so protective though. And for winning a head for me. What would you have done if you lost?"
"Probably freaked the fuck out."
"I doubt it. Having no head is very relaxing."
"Somehow that's hard for me to believe."
"It is! You can still see and hear, but it's all… far away somehow. It was like all my worries were gone somehow, I was just … there! Just a pair of legs! It was so physical, I just loved it. I came running over here to show you, because I didn't really think about it. I mean, you don't do that much without a head. Thinking I mean."
"I suppose that would follow."
"I want to poof away your head sometime so you'll see what I mean."
"Okay, but do me one favor."
"What's that?"
"Ask first. I don't want it to be like last weekend when you and Allison…"
"I said I was sorry! We'd just gotten the wands, and wanted to try something out with them."
"I know. Look, that's over with. I guess I'll just have to get used to this magic stuff."
"You should try it with us next time."
"That might be fun," said Nate. "How does it work anyway?"
"Go into our room and get the wand!"
Nate got up and went into the other room.
"Oh," called Claire, "And bring the book that goes with it! We'll need that!"
"Gotcha," said Nate. He came back with the book and magic wand and sat down next to Claire. Suddenly she climbed on top of him, planting a kiss on his lips.
He grinned.
"What?"
"Nothing. You've got Allison's head on, that's all. It's weird."
"I bet it's kind of a thrill for you, isn't it? Like cheating, but not really cheating."
"A bit like that."
"Well, I've got news for you. I've been Allison this whole time."
"Don't even play that game," said Nate.
"I … you know what, you've been through enough. I'm really Claire, don't worry."
"Just to settle my doubts, what's my birthday?"
"Fuck if I know."
"Okay, you really are Claire."
"Kiss me again," she said.
Nate picked her up with two hands on her ass, and gave her a deep kiss. Allison was certainly attractive, with bright eyes and prominent cheekbones. Things could be worse.
"Now," said Claire. "I'll show you how to use the magic wand, and we'll poof away this head for the night. Then I want you to take this sexy piece of ass into our bedroom and do what you will with it. Okay?"
"I can agree to those terms," said Nate. He grinned and picked up the magic wand.