Description
A crushing emptiness had settled into the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t stop seeing it happen, over and over in my mind. It felt like my heart was going to collapse inward on itself.
“I should have done something.”
The experiments tilted their heads in confusion, but Swift seemed to know what I was talking about. He stepped closer to me and gently asked, “*What should you have done?*”
“I don’t know. Something. He's dead and I watched it happen and I couldn’t do anything, but I should have figured something out,” I said, burying my face in my hands.
“*Please don’t blame yourself,*” the Pidgeotto said quietly. “*Not after everything you’ve been through.*”
I didn’t have anything to say to that. Not while my gut felt like it’d been punched and my hands were already soaked with tears.
“*Why didn’t you send us out?*” Firestorm murmured. Not this again.
“It wasn’t safe,” I muttered, wiping my eyes. That horrible feeling of paralysis flashed through my memory. Wanting to send someone out and fight back, but knowing I’d just be getting them killed.
“*But… I could have helped—*”
“You would have been shot,” I replied in what was probably a harsher tone than necessary, but I wasn’t in the best mindset to be tactful. The Charmeleon froze like he’d been slapped, then looked away and said nothing.
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