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Hey, everybody! I've now completed the guy's meme, and let me tell you; the guys are WAY harder to rank than the girls for me. Seriously- this took quite some time to complete, and for those of you who have been waiting for it, I am terribly sorry. Although I knew my favorites and hated ones right away, the rest were hard to do since they all have some likable traits. Those aside, however, here are my opinions on how each one ranks in the series. I may curse a lot when talking about the despised characters, so if you can’t take that stuff then don’t go too far down the list. This is not meant to offend anybody, as this is all opinion. Well, enjoy!

WARNING: SOME SPOILERS for those who haven’t seen the entirety of season four yet.

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-Noah:

I’d have to say that Noah is nothing short of an enigma in the fan base now. He has completely evolved from his cynical TDI self into somebody who is funny, respectable, and a person that really you want to root for. I honestly believe that he may even make it far in another season with all of the fans that he has today. Now, the reason why I really like him is that he seems to approach most problems in the show with lots of maturity. (That is, mostly after TDA.) He’s like, “I have a plan” and “Don’t worry about it” and “There’s a solution to this”. Noah just seems to be somewhat of an esteemed problem solver at this point, which allows for him to be an intelligent guy worthy of anybody’s respect. Now, he does have a bit of an attitude with some contestants (especially Owen), but he still usually is able to stay rational and on his feet at the right times. In addition to that, he knows whom he can trust. In “I See London…” Noah was the only guy who had any idea that Alejandro was up to something sinister. Unfortunately, in Total Drama this means he had to be the one to leave that very episode, which sucks since he had a lot going for him in that season. Anyways, I think he’s got what it takes to be the next male finalist- he is smart, and not too threatening in the eyes of the others. If only this can happen, I might regain some more confidence in this series. If fanfictions can make this guy awesome, then I have faith that the show can, too.

-Brick:

As probably the most morally driven competitor in the series thus far, Brick is a great role model in a show full of people who are horribly, horribly behaved. With the strength of a fully trained infantryman and the determination of few others, Brick manages to stay strong in the competition, while also being a bit of a softer guy than usual. Unfortunately, Brick’s niceness is rather perceived by others as a weakness rather than a strength. He also has certain fears that may chop away at his manliness- which unfortunately were exposed in a challenge early in the season. Despite his shortcomings, however, Brick managed to stay within his code and help out others and often do what was “right”. It really would bug me whenever Jo or someone else would pick at him for being who he was- which was not at all right for them to do. See, they don’t understand that being non-aggressive is okay. It’s really too bad that Brick had to suffer through a ton of embarrassment and bullying- he is truly WAY better than much of the scum we saw during season four- namely Lightning and Scott, both of whom I will get to later. Regardless, he often remained the better man despite the lowly strategies of some of the hoodlums in the game. Sadly, his demise was met with a truly cruel twist- he saved the lives of those from the other team, which ended up having his team lose again. Unfortunately, this registered as “traitor” to Jo and Lightning, his other teammates, who promptly voted him out for it. What a bunch of assbags those two were as a pair! However, despite his unfortunate loss at this point in the game, Brick still left with his had held high, along with earning the eternal respect of those he rescued. May he return and forever be in our hearts as the most honorable player to ever play the game.

-Sam:

God, I love this guy. With everything he does, says and stands for, this dude is a video game nerd stereotype done RIGHT. Now, although he does not last a super long time in season four, he really made an impact on me more than almost any other character (almost). For one, he has such a unique perspective on everything- most of the time he was making nods to some real-life videos games, which was totally AWESOME. Especially the episode where the challenge resembled the classic Donkey King arcade game; that was very, very cool to see as well- something you’d never expect to see in an episode called “Runaway Model”. Also, his relationship with Dakota is one of the high points of the season. They just seem so perfectly fit for each other- a socially awkward video game nerd with a fashion-crazed princess diva just makes so much sense. Even though it took a little grinding to get to where they are now, they managed to make it work despite many obstacles in the way (being separated, Dakota getting mutated into a monster). Sam truly is a lucky guy for that. Anyways, he was probably one of the more determined players in the game, and also likely was one of the few that ever stood up to Scott (for him, it was in Finders Creepers). You know, I swear he was actually going to make the final four or something like that- he surely seemed like he would based on the trailers. Yeah, if there’s one gripe I have with season four, its for not giving people like Sam the development they deserved- we were all SO mislead on who would go far in season four at first, and unfortunately Sam was someone who got very shortchanged despite being one of the better characters. Still, I am glad that Sam got his time to shine on the show anyways. Hopefully he can return to the show and make it further than the last time, but until that day comes I can never truly be satisfied with what the writers gave this guy development-wise. On a related note, Christian Potenza mentioned that Sam was his favorite camper of that season…maybe that’s a good sign for the gamer? I sure hope so, because he needs that second shot to fulfill his complete potential in the game.

-Cameron:

This dude is definitely one of the most surprisingly awesome contestants on the show. For starters, there were lots of people whom I doubted thought this guy would go very far at all, let alone make it to the final two. All I can say, though, is that I’m glad they used this guy the way they did- he is such an awesome contestant in so many ways! Not only is he a genius, but also judging him simply by his background, it is amazing to see all that he accomplished in his season alone. Starting out simply as a boy in a bubble, he was exposed to little of the outside world. Going into a game filled with other teens his age he’d never interacted with before, as well as going to an environmentally unstable island, likely made things even harder for him than imaginable. Despite all these pre-existing conditions, he sure knew how to rock the game- winning challenges and making friends were some of his finest skills he acquired during the course of it. One of his biggest things was he knew about Mike’s Multiple Personality Disorder- something that nobody else except him and Dawn knew besides Mike himself. However, he did come across many obstacles along the way, including his weak figure, Jo, Scott, and biggest of all LIGHTNING. Seriously, I would be scared shitless myself if some really buff guy hated me a ton and he and I were the only people bunking on an island together. In the end, his wits and brains helped him win over the annoying shit-brain, which was a very satisfying ending to see- for after a couple seasons of having an asshole win, we finally saw somebody with a good heart win the million. Few others could be as good of a winner as Cameron was.

-Cody:

Man, I have to say this guy never gets enough good stuff in the series. I mean, he’s such a nice and down-to-earth guy, but never is able to properly get anything nice for himself. No girl, no million dollars, and no real respect- all that luxurious stuff we take for granted. And for god’s sakes- he got his own private stalker during the entire third season! Why is he treated so cruelly in this manner? Now, I know that Cody is quite liked among the fans, especially after seeing his performance in TDWT- and I have to say, I really liked this guy as well during that season. One thing that most people don’t seem to point out, however, is that he is actually REALLY funny. And it’s not that kind of forced or contrived humor that we see in other characters (like Lightning or Owen), but rather a naturally occurring flow of funny jokes and phrases that seem to just click and sound awesome coming from him. Honestly, he really made me laugh out loud a lot during both TDI and TDWT. Another thing about him is that he never seems to get the ladies- and it seems to be a running joke for him that he does not, but…WHY? It’s like he’s a romantic punching bag of sorts, always doing the nice, genuine things for Gwen and such but never getting anything in return for his kind deeds. For god’s sakes, why can’t Gwen give this guy a chance? I mean, if she says bye-bye Duncan anytime soon, maybe Cody can comfort her a bit and perhaps earn some kind of kiss, and…you know what I mean. The romantic logic in the series never makes any sense. Now back to Cody- many people like myself were rooting for him to win TDWT, which unfortunately was not something we got to see. Honestly, it SUCKED to see that Alejandro beat him in the tiebreaker in such a disappointing twist. Why does Al get a shot at the million, and not the technical fan-favorite? On the other hand, some would argue that Cody is overrated, and should not have been expected to win. I disagree with that, due to my personal liking for the guy. Now, for those logical thinkers/Cody haters out there, it MAY be fair to say that he didn’t exactly do a lot of strategy-based stuff during that season. And it can be understandable to say that Alejandro DID work his way there as opposed to being sort of brought there, thus maybe being the reason he was the male finalist instead. But does everybody remember Owen in TDI? He made it into the finals by doing practically nothing- aside from farting, burping, and lucking out because everyone else was so more threatening than him. He barely did anything strategy-wise! Yet people saw him as a decent winner. Same thing with Duncan- HE barely “played the game” in TDA, but he still made it to the finals, and fans LOVED him! So I’m just saying that just because Cody didn’t make all the big moves, it didn’t mean he was unworthy of winning. That’s just something to think about. One last thing about Cody- seeing Sierra follow him around everywhere was SO annoying. Why did they create her to do that? Just to creep on poor Cody- imagine if he were able to develop on his own, without Sierra having to be tied into everything he did. That’s my only complaint about Cody’s development in TDWT- while awesome to have him around, it meant having to see Sierra be almost wherever he was, which got pretty old after a while. She doesn’t deserve him at all, and no offense to Coderra fans, but it’s so creepy to have her treat him as she does. Anyways, although Cody failed to win the game (and likely never will win) he still is an awesome dude who amuses me to no end. If only he can get some “goodies” for himself later and remain the awesome and hilarious dude he is, I’ll say they handled his character right. Oh, and they should make sure that he gets some time away from Sierra next time.

-Ezekiel:

Poor Zeke. Probably the most misunderstood character within the realms of the TD universe, Ezekiel has unfortunately been tortured for far too long in the show; he needs some sort of rebirth or second coming to help him become less hated/underrated. Also, in the fanbase he is also quite a polarizing character- people seem to either love him or hate his guts. As everybody knows, he was the first person to EVER be eliminated from the show. Also, I’m sure everybody knows WHY he was the first voted off- because he makes sexist comments about women. Now, I’m sure this has been said millions of times, but I’ll stress this point again: IT CAME FROM HIS PARENTS. Therefore, I’ve always thought of this as a really bullshit reason to dislike him. Think about it- he’s been homeschooled all his life, and came to the teen reality show only because he has Vitamin D deficiency. People should not blame him entirely for that, even though it wasn’t very responsible of him to say. Still though- he barely knew better, so people hating on him for that makes no sense. For one, I don’t see how realistically all those girls suddenly got super pissed at him for that. If I were there, I’d say he didn’t know better and ignore him. But because of that one incident, his position in the series has been really shitty since day one. To make matters worse, he is later eliminated first AGAIN in TDWT after his hiatus during TDA- leading to something even worse. He slowly deteriorates into a gollum-esque monster that has become a terrible running gag for the past two seasons. Why does this guy have so much crap happen to him in the series? It’s really a big plot hole throughout the seasons- how everyone makes him out to be an awful guy when really he ought to be given a chance for once. So, why do I myself really like this guy? See, I think that in season five (which has been confirmed) he could be given a chance to move beyond the first elimination round and be given some LEGITIMATE character development. What would happen if he could stick around? Who would be his friends? Is he good in challenges? Can he be taught more about the real world? These are some questions in need of answers. Now, I’m sure that Ezekiel will never EVER win the game given his past, but he should still at least be a major character in a season and go past the merge. Why doesn’t he get a shot at this? If worn out people like Duncan can be pushed aside for more underrated people, then Ezekiel would be way more awesome! Let’s hope for it, folks…

-Trent:

Ah, Trent. So misunderstood by many, many people both inside and outside of TD. God, this guy was awesome. And by “was” I mean still is. In TDI, most people knew this guy as Gwen’s boyfriend. In reality, he was much more than just that. He was an awesome competitor who knew how to keep his cool and rock that guitar of his. If there is anyone here who either doesn’t know that or hasn’t seen it in a while, go and re-watch TDI right now. Just exit this meme right now and go watch some episodes of the good ‘ol first season- it is the quintessential season for awesome people like Trent. Seriously, why does nobody remember how awesome this guy is? I will mainly blame TDA for messing him up- there were a couple of things that made him seem less good than he was in TDI. First of all…there was the “9” incident that totally made Trent seem like a lunatic. For those who don’t know, during this timeframe he would constantly associate anything he could with the number nine- some random-ass bullshit that came seemingly right out of the writers asses. Then, they have to break him up with Gwen, after they officially go out for only, I dunno, FIVE EPISODES! I honestly think Duncan had SOMETHING to do with this- every complication of Gwen and Trent’s relationship had something to do with him (I’ll get to that assbag later, though). Regardless, it still seemed like the writers were going out of their way to make Trent seem more and more insane (not the good kind). On top of that, they denied him a spot on TDWT, where he would have ruled! Seriously, the guitarist was not in the singing season? That’s some bull right there. Although he now appears to be somewhat of a sideline character, he still has a chance to become a big dog yet again. If only the writers put him in season five and let him go far, he’ll likely regain some of his lost respect from fans and his peers on the show alike. Perhaps then he can also wrap up some loose ends with his ex…that is something else I hope for in the fifth season.

-Mike:

Of all the characters in the series, Mike is certainly one of the more oddball ones. Of course, he is one in the best sense of the word. Oddly enough, many people thought he would be the next Cody, which turned out to be somewhat of an inaccurate prediction (though they were half-right). As the only cast member to have a known psychological condition, he is unique as he sends the audience a message about having these disorders. Of course, although Multiple Personality Disorder is not that common (and may not be literally like in the show), others certainly are and we may misjudge people who have them all the time. That is the lesson with Mike, from what I can tell. Anyways, as a character he is a nice guy who seems to be somewhat socially awkward, and probably living with the fear that his alternate personalities will ruin his life. It seems like they give him plenty of trouble already, as it is. Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba Smith are their names. Whoever it is, they’ve always seemingly given Mike a harder time living. For me, I interpreted his growing relationship with Zoey to be the final challenge in overcoming his MPD issues; he loved her so much that he managed to take control of his mind and not let other figures control him- he wanted to make sure that this girl was not pushed away by his internal conflicts. And in that sense, Mike is a very dynamic and respectable guy. He’s also pretty funny though, too. Whenever he’d switch to some of the alternate personalities it was always laugh-worthy. Interestingly, at first I thought he’d make it further than he did- maybe he would make the final four or something. Even though I can see that he was not, he was still one of the most memorable characters from season four- and definitely one of the series’ flagship characters.

-Tyler:

I think Tyler is definitely a unique character in his own way on this show. Usually on a show with jock stereotypes, you get the kinds that are incredibly buff and idiotic while sometimes an asshole (*cough* Lightning *cough*). Luckily, Tyler is not the last one, but has some of the first two in him. Despite being sort of a jocko, he is not very good at sports that much, though in return he is nicer than the typical sportster. He’s sometimes just as clueless, though. Anyways, he’s got this unique charm that makes him really hilarious as a stereotype. Also, he tends to spout some funny one-liners that are actually quite clever (“We’re gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we’re gonna EAT IT!”). I think most people began to like him in TDWT, but I also personally enjoyed him in TDI as well despite his rather short stay. Despite some shortcomings, he seems to have what he needs for the most part; he’s got a girl, and has been showcased on the show as a hilarious character. If you ask me, I’d say that’s going in the right direction for his character development. If he can go even further next time, however, I’d love to see what he’d do. Until that day, we can all agree that Tyler is funny as hell!

-Geoff:

Geoff is certainly memorable as one of the more entertaining classic TD characters. Back in TDI, this dude rocked. As one of the “bros” of the Killer Bass he managed to stay chill even when his team experienced intense drama and whatnot. In particular, he was known as Bridgette’s boyfriend and the best friends of Duncan and DJ. He played the game well and went super far in he competition, placing in a respectable 6th place. Since then, however, Geoff has received very little development as a competitor, and has instead been shoved into the role of hosting a sideshow. How is THAT fair? I wish this guy could play the game again and be the “bro” of the show once more. Why? Because honestly, I think Geoff is one of the best “bro” stereotypes on any show. He was such an awesome guy in TDI that I’m surprised they just basically tossed him aside afterwards. Even though his appearances in the Aftermaths are cool, they simply are not enough for him as a character. I mean, he was awesome then, so can’t they make him awesome now? I hope that in season five they bring him back on; how much more screentime can they deprive him of? Anyways, Geoff is really cool because he just is a funny and relatable character. Sure, he was a bit of an asshole in TDA and sort of lost touch with some of his friends, but he still did awesome thing to make up for it. He stood up to Blaineley, raised a million dollars for the show in 22 minutes, and narrated all the noteworthy moments of the seasons as they progressed. I have faith that the writers will bring this guy back off the backburner for some more totally rad time in the game.

-Harold:

Until Sam debuted in TDRI, this guy was my favorite cartoon nerd. I’m sure everyone notices firsthand the huge resemblance between Harold and Napoleon Dynamite- with every “gosh”, “god” and “idiots” he truly plays an entertaining characters on the show as a parody of Napoleon. Other than that, he has a ton of wicked skills that are pretty good, though often go unappreciated. He biggest thing I dislike is that Harold always seems to get bullied by Duncan and others, who never have to pay for picking on him. I always hate that when there are cartoon nerds- the cartoon bullies never get punished in return enough. Now, back to Harold- he actually is a pretty skilled and powerful player in the series. And even though he’s sort of a writer’s punching bag, I think he still has achieved a lot and is one of the more likeable characters of the entire cast. Now, there’s one thing that people always bring up: him rigging the votes to vote off Courtney. For one, this does not make Harold the devil. I know a lot of people liked her back then, and most still do (I like Courtney as well). The thing is that he did have a reason; Duncan tormented him so much that Harold wanted to get back at him somehow- it may not have been the BEST move to make, but Harold is surely no Satan for it. There- I wanted to speak on his behalf for a sec. Anyways, Harold is pretty cool so I hope he can return and possibly be a bit better than in TDWT. You all know what I mean by that, right?

-DJ:

Man, this guy has been given such poor development recently. He was portrayed as a strong, silent guy in TDI who could be really badass. In the following seasons, however, he was made out to be a crybaby pansy that is afraid of every moving particle. Why is he being treated as such? We all knew that DJ wasn’t this much of a wimp in season one, so why is he now afraid of everything? Don’t get me wrong- I still like DJ. He’s a nice guy with good values and is able to make friends with everyone, even the villainous scum on the show. If there was one male character who could be a role model, he’d be the one. The only problem is that he’s not being played right anymore on the show- we have all this stuff with him quitting, fainting at the sight of everything, and don’t even get me started on the stupid animal curse (which, by the way, was only made as an excuse to flush out Team Victory at the start)! Also, his cameo in season four only worsened things in this department. Damn it, writers! DJ is a strong and brave character, so why don’t you portray him as such? Gosh! Regardless, DJ is still cool and I hope that maybe they can fix him up for the next season- possible allowing him to “man up” for future challenges.

-B:

Now, just so everybody knows I do not have anything against B. The only reason that he’s down here is that there isn’t too much to him besides what we’ve seen already. Yeah, I’m sure you guys hear that one a lot. But it’s true- this guy has had so little time on the show that it’s not really an even playing field when it comes to comparing him to the rest of the characters on the show. Now, I will say what I like about him. Despite not ever speaking, he still has this weird charm that makes him memorable and gives him a bit of spunk that few others on the show have. That is worth some commemoration, if you ask me. His audition tape shows that he is a genius, and you know what they say : actions tend to speak far greater than words. He was a brilliant player, but unfortunately fell at the hands of a truly despicable antagonist. That is certainly a good tragic story on this show, which is often not too deep most of the time. Anyways, he’ll be remembered and maybe can make some cool appearances later on in the show; at the very least, he really deserves that. Anything less would be a huge insult to his level of swag.

-Owen:

Man, if it isn’t Owen. You can pretty much tell he’s the series “idol” character as he is almost always around in (almost) every episode you see. We know him as the winner of season one, the big guy, and farticus. To be fairly honest, I think he’s used WAY too much. Why? Well, like I said he usually goes quite far in every season he is in- and he always places in the top eight! God, I think he may be wearing thin to the point of annoying everyone to death. Seriously- I’m sure the creators of the show idolize him to a freakishly large extent. In addition, all of the fart jokes he makes aren’t really as funny now. They were tolerable in season one, but less so as we head into the fifth. I’m guessing the main reason he’s often so long lasting in many seasons is that it’s a kids’ show and they want them to laugh at his appearances- thus boosting the shows ratings. Still, though- they can’t get away with that every season, so they ought to get new ideas about who to make go far. Now, just so y’all know I don’t really dislike Owen. I just dislike the way they’re handling him- let someone else have the spotlight for a while, writers! That’s the main point- Owen needs a break from the game, or at least as an endgamer. If they can tone him down for season five, I’ll be happy with having fewer farting jokes and Owen craziness.

-Alejandro:

Okay, NOW we’re moving into dislike territory. Alejandro is an example of a character that I find WAY too perfect. He’s such a Mary-Sue villain (or to be gender-specific, Larry-Stu) and he rarely had any opposition to him in TDWT as he kept going further in the game. Also, there was this huge plot hole where after the TDA special nobody seemed to remember that this guy was on a show called “Total Drama Scumbags”. Another thing that irks me is that Al seemingly was able to PERFECTLY set all his plans into motion and succeed. It’s like he knew EVERYTHING- when to manipulate, when to take advantage of something, and when to do this that and everything. I guess my biggest complaint is that he made the final two- and WON. What? 0_0 Doesn’t that, like, violate every rule in the Total Drama rulebook? You can’t let the bad guy win! Everyone knows that the antagonist never gets a shot at the money! Anyways, I live in the U.S where Heather won, so I consider that the “real” ending. To be honest, that’s really all there is to criticize about Alejandro. He can actually be funny at times, and sometimes he WAS cute with Heather…but he still is not my kind of character to root for. Let’s just hope that his robot suit prevents him from competing so perfectly ever again…

-Justin:

Really, there isn’t much to be said about Justin. He’s eye candy and a douche, which often are both mixed traits found in real life people. And I really hate that kind of person. Although he’s a cool side character in TDI, he becomes practically garbage in TDA. Apparently he was the villain for some part, but he never did ANYTHING! Also, he’s so full if himself that when he gets scratched a little he panics and just sort of shuts down. Not very effective, Justin. All in all, he’s pretty one-dimensional and is often not very enjoyable to watch (at least not for me, anyway). I just seriously hope that he never competes for too long in any season again, which pretty much sums up my thoughts on him. He’s pretty bland, and I hope he stays downplayed- though he still isn’t the worst of the bunch.

-Scott:

Hey Scotty? Jesus, man. Why are you so awful? I honestly believe that the creators tried to make this guy so unlikeable that he would get death threats from real life people (which he does). The only problem is, it’s not very fun to watch him be evil! Whenever this guy dupes someone, for me it gets so uncomfortable because it’s plain cruel what he does to everyone. Plus, his voice is so annoying- not a real criticism, but it’s soooooo hard to listen to! I honestly have no idea why it took everyone else so long to figure out he was up to something! I’m guessing that he was brought up wrong, and ended up being a hateful bastard as a result. Though it is still no excuse for what he does in the season! I just really wish that he hadn’t employed the “sabotaging” tactic- because of it, he cost so many people a shot at winning that were likable. And I’m not sure if he did this on purpose or not, but he seemingly carried Lightning- the dumbest and worst player there was- along with him further than the other Toxic Rats! What a waste. Additionally, I see no possibility in Scott ever getting in a relationship with Dawn- it really is mind-boggling how many people support the shipping. No offense to fans of the couple, but it has no chemistry whatsoever realistically. They hate each other’s guts, so it really doesn’t hold much chance. Come to think of it, Scott wouldn’t really be compatible with ANYONE! Seriously, he deserves no women! Finally, I honestly believe he got exactly what he deserved- to be torn apart by Fang. I know some people disagree, but seriously, what else did you expect to see? And since he’s a cartoon I am not obligated to show any sympathy to him no matter how badly he suffered. After seeing what he did to Dawn…and Mike…he ought to have no mercy shown to him. My last wish is that he never EVER competes again, due to his disfigurations. May Total Drama’s Jesus prevent that from happening folks.

-Duncan:

Wow, what an adorable little ASSHOLE this guy is. Before I rant on about how this guy is one of the worst characters to ever show his face on this show, let me go through some stuff about him leading up to his shameful shitdom. First, let’s begin with, well, the beginning of this guy’s trek through the series. He was originally the series “bad boy”, and despite his stereotype, we saw he had a soft side. It was actually kind of cool, and it made him seem more real of a guy. He made it far, but was sadly eliminated near the end, finishing in a respectable 4th. By the time Total Drama Island was over, there was one thing I always kept hearing within the fandom: “Duncan should have won”. Wow, there were a lot of people who were apparently quite upset that this guy did not win. I mean, sure, he was kind of a cool character, but people were SO UPSET about how Duncan got eliminated and wasn’t in the finals. They’d even curse Owen and stuff- quite an emotional backlash in the name of a fictional character. It kind of shocked me, too. Also, there was a huge buzz among the fans at the time that this was going on: DUNCNEY. This couple was arguably the most talked about thing at the time, and was giving people fangasms left and right, as far as he eye could see. I like it too, to say the least. Now, I’ll go on more about that in a sec, but for now, we’ll stick to Duncan himself. Anyways, going into TDA many people were glad to see this guy again. It was, like, the second coming of Jesus for fans of Total Drama, and for Duncan fans in particular. Oddly enough, he would also make it far in season two of the show. However, along the way he was not quite the same. Instead of being a deep guy with some rationale, he slowly became…more like his stereotype. He began to bully Harold more than in season one. He became a harsh and manipulative asshole who would pick people off the show and act rude to even the nicest people there were (like Lindsay). Even worse, the relationship he had with Courtney spiraled out of control like nothing else in this season, and unfortunately, it was not very enjoyable to watch. Finally, in the end this dickhead managed to win, unlike the previous season. Now, I’m sure some people were super happy and appeased by this happening, but it really seemed like only one little accomplishment, since this wasn’t exactly a top-notch season. It’s like seeing a tiny, sparkling diamond in a mountain of cow shit. That’s how insignificant it was to me. So many people were like, “ZOMG Duncan won, he’s so hawt, and I want him 2 have mah baybez!” See, Duncan pretty much won against the smallest seasonal cast of the show at the time- only fourteen people (compared to the original twenty-two). Not too much to brag about, really. I’m surprised he was portrayed as a protagonistic character when he did such awful and sometimes unforgivable things. I mean, who else felt for Harold, LeShawna, and others as he bullied them to no end? That, if anything, was the true beginning of his downfall. Now, going into TDWT things were looking pretty good. Duncan was eliminated first, after two seasons of his non-stop appearance. He would get a break, and everybody else would not have to deal with him. For the first twelve episodes of the season, the show was quite enjoyable and was a fresh change from the usual “Duncan-fests” that were seasons one and two. However, about halfway through the season he came back to the show, and in the most inflammatory twist the show has ever seen, he CHEATS on his girlfriend and dicks around with another girl- Gwen. Oh my god. And I mean OH. MY. GOD. Gwen is actually awesome in her own little way (check out my girls meme for my thoughts on her). For Duncan to come in and make her look like a moron really angered me, thus becoming the first of many of TDWT’s major flaws. As if we hadn’t seen this jackass enough in the series thus far, he was back and went very far here, once again picking off people who would have been WAY better in his position of a far-going contestant. What really makes it bad is that this guy shows no remorse for ANYTHING he does, whether it be lying, cheating, or just plain SUCKING. Seeing him do all of this toked up bullshit really made me wonder why so many people wanted him to win so badly in TDI and TDA- truth is, he would have been way better off being a bit more downplayed after season one. But as we know, the fans adored him for whatever reason, and his time on the show just kept getting prolonged. Now, as of this point the conflicts started by Duncan in TDWT and earlier have still been unresolved- this really makes me wish that he never caused them, and that ne had never been found in London that fateful night. A few days ago, however, Tom McGillis, who created this wonderful show, said that season five WAS in fact happening, which makes me wonder if some of the issues from TDWT can be resolved here. It would be a shame for this guy to get off scot-free, so I am praying that if he returns, he will get exactly what he deserves. He has not been fully punished for his actions, and hopefully when the time comes he will get his comeuppance. Until that day, we can only hope Duncan doesn’t screw up anything else great about the franchise- his evil essence must be punished for his wrongdoings, and I’m sure that many, MANY fans would love to see that day come.

-Lightning:

This is it. The blandest of the bland. The dumbest of the dumb. The worst of the worst. This has got to be the most stuck up, arrogant, selfish, clueless, self-centered, pretentious, idiotic, whining little BITCH BAG that you will ever see in your entire life! I mean, that would be an okay character to have in a season and have to satirize stereotypical egotistic jocks- if he was an EARLY BOOT! But he’s not. This guy lasts throughout the entire season, and somehow never gets his ass booted off the freaking show. As a result, he became a finalist, which forced us to deal with his idiocy and blandness throughout the entire season. What did he even do to deserve such a priceless position in the game? Come to think of it, does Lightning have any credibility at ALL? I will never figure out why the show’s writers decided to make him go far in this season. In fact, I’d like to know who decided, “Hey, this obviously cardboard cutout jock guy would make a GREAT finalist in this season of other very interesting characters.” Quick little fact of irony; this guy got my favorite character from season four eliminated, which made me SUPER angry at how he managed to be kept above all of the other more interesting people from TDRI. Okay, so what do I REALLY hate about this guy? Well, let’s look at him by examining many different aspects of his character. First, let’s take a good look at his name. Just by knowing his name, you can already tell immediately that this guy is some sort of egotist hardhead if he has the nerve to commonly go by a name like “Lightning”. As if to imply he’s the fastest, the best, or downright unstoppable. If only he had a more down to earth name such as “Terrance”, “Marshall”, or even freaking “Keith”! KEITH, of all names, would have been a far more easy to stand name than Lightning- that’s how bad it is. (No offense to anybody named Keith.) Second, let’s examine the way he talks. Whenever this stupid moron opens his mouth, what do you all hear? Sha-bam, sha-boom, and stuff about some guy named “Lightnin’” . Look, I know that sometimes these sudden, incoherent words can be amusing, but they get old REALLY FAST. Seriously, the guy almost never makes sense with his words and that REALLY pisses me off because there were so many other well-spoken contestants in this season that deserved to make it WAY further than he did. With him, he’s just spewing all this random and unintelligent bullshit that, more often than not, has NO relevance to the plot of the episode. In fact, that’s reminds me of the defining word for his speech patterns: IRRELEVANT. There’s nothing else at all about it that’s interesting or even endearing. But do you want to know the worst part? The biggest problem, the most frustrating part to this god-awful jerk-ass, is that we’re supposed to take this guy SERIOUSLY. Yeah, that’s right. The writers tried to present him in a way that would make us look at him and say, “Hey, this is a guy I can totally get behind. He sure knows how to play the game, and is very relatable to other noble people who ought to have the spotlight on ‘em.” Nope. This guy has nothing to make him at all rootable for. He has no strategy, no specific plot, and quite honestly, no REAL achievements. Think about it; throughout the season he loses and loses so much, and despite his occasional challenge wins, he still really is just a big loser. He’s no real star; he only got to stay so long out of pure luck (though Scott’s actions may have affected Lightning’s fate). He’s just a poor, soulless guy with a father that demands that he achieve all this ludicrous stuff. As a result, he created a persona- Lightning- to fill this void in his soul, and would try to impress his pop by doing sports and being “number one” in all of them. That way, all the self-esteem that he had, based off of the way his father perceived him, could increase. You could clearly sense that during the finale, where his arrogant father ignored his own son when he had made it to the finals. Anyways, the poor shmuck probably was tormented by this constant losing during Total Drama, which is really what made him “evil” near the end of the season. My big theory is this: He got tired of losing to the point where he snapped, and just went all out, vowing to win the overall competition. See, it was when Cameron won that one challenge that Lightning just got sick and tired of falling short of being number one. He lashed out at the winner- Cameron- and decided to tear him to pieces on is way to the “Grand Sha-bang”. Now, to be honest that is actually a really GOOD tragic story of a character. If they had presented Lightning in this manner, it may have been a highly symbolic way to show his pain. Also, he could have been more respectable and draw sympathy from the fans had he had a story like this one. Unfortunately, that is not how he was presented at all. Everything in regard to him just happened for no reason and with no explanation at all. Was the theory I had presented earlier really what the writers were intending to portray with Lightning? I don’t know. We may never know, in fact. And that is what really makes my blood boil. It’s just a huge opportunity these guys wasted, using him as finalist material. See, what they don’t understand is that buff, arrogant, and jerk-ass male characters are NOT the kind of characters we want to see in the final two- they just make us hate the fact that other characters we liked were eliminated before them. Lightning is probably the worst, due to his purely WTF presence in the finale as a finalist. Although they can’t change the past, I’m sure that the writers are today lying awake at night, haunted by their choice to have him go far, and constantly ask themselves, “What could have been?” I hope it haunts them forever, the fact that Lightning was made into the guy he is by the writing staff- we can never undo his role in the season, and he will forever be a flaw in season four. Hopefully, his broken legs and busted up self will never appear on the show ever again…that is all we can ever hope for as fans of this wonderful series. Amen.

[link] : I reference this in the meme

Credit goes to for creating the original meme, and for making the updated version.

All characters here © of Fresh TV, Teletoon, and the creators (Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch).

Description
Hey, everybody! I've now completed the guy's meme, and let me tell you; the guys are WAY harder to rank than the girls for me. Seriously- this took quite some time to complete, and for those of you who have been waiting for it, I am terribly sorry. Although I knew my favorites and hated ones right away, the rest were hard to do since they all have some likable traits. Those aside, however, here are my opinions on how each one ranks in the series. I may curse a lot when talking about the despised characters, so if you can’t take that stuff then don’t go too far down the list. This is not meant to offend anybody, as this is all opinion. Well, enjoy!

WARNING: SOME SPOILERS for those who haven’t seen the entirety of season four yet.

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-Noah:

I’d have to say that Noah is nothing short of an enigma in the fan base now. He has completely evolved from his cynical TDI self into somebody who is funny, respectable, and a person that really you want to root for. I honestly believe that he may even make it far in another season with all of the fans that he has today. Now, the reason why I really like him is that he seems to approach most problems in the show with lots of maturity. (That is, mostly after TDA.) He’s like, “I have a plan” and “Don’t worry about it” and “There’s a solution to this”. Noah just seems to be somewhat of an esteemed problem solver at this point, which allows for him to be an intelligent guy worthy of anybody’s respect. Now, he does have a bit of an attitude with some contestants (especially Owen), but he still usually is able to stay rational and on his feet at the right times. In addition to that, he knows whom he can trust. In “I See London…” Noah was the only guy who had any idea that Alejandro was up to something sinister. Unfortunately, in Total Drama this means he had to be the one to leave that very episode, which sucks since he had a lot going for him in that season. Anyways, I think he’s got what it takes to be the next male finalist- he is smart, and not too threatening in the eyes of the others. If only this can happen, I might regain some more confidence in this series. If fanfictions can make this guy awesome, then I have faith that the show can, too.

-Brick:

As probably the most morally driven competitor in the series thus far, Brick is a great role model in a show full of people who are horribly, horribly behaved. With the strength of a fully trained infantryman and the determination of few others, Brick manages to stay strong in the competition, while also being a bit of a softer guy than usual. Unfortunately, Brick’s niceness is rather perceived by others as a weakness rather than a strength. He also has certain fears that may chop away at his manliness- which unfortunately were exposed in a challenge early in the season. Despite his shortcomings, however, Brick managed to stay within his code and help out others and often do what was “right”. It really would bug me whenever Jo or someone else would pick at him for being who he was- which was not at all right for them to do. See, they don’t understand that being non-aggressive is okay. It’s really too bad that Brick had to suffer through a ton of embarrassment and bullying- he is truly WAY better than much of the scum we saw during season four- namely Lightning and Scott, both of whom I will get to later. Regardless, he often remained the better man despite the lowly strategies of some of the hoodlums in the game. Sadly, his demise was met with a truly cruel twist- he saved the lives of those from the other team, which ended up having his team lose again. Unfortunately, this registered as “traitor” to Jo and Lightning, his other teammates, who promptly voted him out for it. What a bunch of assbags those two were as a pair! However, despite his unfortunate loss at this point in the game, Brick still left with his had held high, along with earning the eternal respect of those he rescued. May he return and forever be in our hearts as the most honorable player to ever play the game.

-Sam:

God, I love this guy. With everything he does, says and stands for, this dude is a video game nerd stereotype done RIGHT. Now, although he does not last a super long time in season four, he really made an impact on me more than almost any other character (almost). For one, he has such a unique perspective on everything- most of the time he was making nods to some real-life videos games, which was totally AWESOME. Especially the episode where the challenge resembled the classic Donkey King arcade game; that was very, very cool to see as well- something you’d never expect to see in an episode called “Runaway Model”. Also, his relationship with Dakota is one of the high points of the season. They just seem so perfectly fit for each other- a socially awkward video game nerd with a fashion-crazed princess diva just makes so much sense. Even though it took a little grinding to get to where they are now, they managed to make it work despite many obstacles in the way (being separated, Dakota getting mutated into a monster). Sam truly is a lucky guy for that. Anyways, he was probably one of the more determined players in the game, and also likely was one of the few that ever stood up to Scott (for him, it was in Finders Creepers). You know, I swear he was actually going to make the final four or something like that- he surely seemed like he would based on the trailers. Yeah, if there’s one gripe I have with season four, its for not giving people like Sam the development they deserved- we were all SO mislead on who would go far in season four at first, and unfortunately Sam was someone who got very shortchanged despite being one of the better characters. Still, I am glad that Sam got his time to shine on the show anyways. Hopefully he can return to the show and make it further than the last time, but until that day comes I can never truly be satisfied with what the writers gave this guy development-wise. On a related note, Christian Potenza mentioned that Sam was his favorite camper of that season…maybe that’s a good sign for the gamer? I sure hope so, because he needs that second shot to fulfill his complete potential in the game.

-Cameron:

This dude is definitely one of the most surprisingly awesome contestants on the show. For starters, there were lots of people whom I doubted thought this guy would go very far at all, let alone make it to the final two. All I can say, though, is that I’m glad they used this guy the way they did- he is such an awesome contestant in so many ways! Not only is he a genius, but also judging him simply by his background, it is amazing to see all that he accomplished in his season alone. Starting out simply as a boy in a bubble, he was exposed to little of the outside world. Going into a game filled with other teens his age he’d never interacted with before, as well as going to an environmentally unstable island, likely made things even harder for him than imaginable. Despite all these pre-existing conditions, he sure knew how to rock the game- winning challenges and making friends were some of his finest skills he acquired during the course of it. One of his biggest things was he knew about Mike’s Multiple Personality Disorder- something that nobody else except him and Dawn knew besides Mike himself. However, he did come across many obstacles along the way, including his weak figure, Jo, Scott, and biggest of all LIGHTNING. Seriously, I would be scared shitless myself if some really buff guy hated me a ton and he and I were the only people bunking on an island together. In the end, his wits and brains helped him win over the annoying shit-brain, which was a very satisfying ending to see- for after a couple seasons of having an asshole win, we finally saw somebody with a good heart win the million. Few others could be as good of a winner as Cameron was.

-Cody:

Man, I have to say this guy never gets enough good stuff in the series. I mean, he’s such a nice and down-to-earth guy, but never is able to properly get anything nice for himself. No girl, no million dollars, and no real respect- all that luxurious stuff we take for granted. And for god’s sakes- he got his own private stalker during the entire third season! Why is he treated so cruelly in this manner? Now, I know that Cody is quite liked among the fans, especially after seeing his performance in TDWT- and I have to say, I really liked this guy as well during that season. One thing that most people don’t seem to point out, however, is that he is actually REALLY funny. And it’s not that kind of forced or contrived humor that we see in other characters (like Lightning or Owen), but rather a naturally occurring flow of funny jokes and phrases that seem to just click and sound awesome coming from him. Honestly, he really made me laugh out loud a lot during both TDI and TDWT. Another thing about him is that he never seems to get the ladies- and it seems to be a running joke for him that he does not, but…WHY? It’s like he’s a romantic punching bag of sorts, always doing the nice, genuine things for Gwen and such but never getting anything in return for his kind deeds. For god’s sakes, why can’t Gwen give this guy a chance? I mean, if she says bye-bye Duncan anytime soon, maybe Cody can comfort her a bit and perhaps earn some kind of kiss, and…you know what I mean. The romantic logic in the series never makes any sense. Now back to Cody- many people like myself were rooting for him to win TDWT, which unfortunately was not something we got to see. Honestly, it SUCKED to see that Alejandro beat him in the tiebreaker in such a disappointing twist. Why does Al get a shot at the million, and not the technical fan-favorite? On the other hand, some would argue that Cody is overrated, and should not have been expected to win. I disagree with that, due to my personal liking for the guy. Now, for those logical thinkers/Cody haters out there, it MAY be fair to say that he didn’t exactly do a lot of strategy-based stuff during that season. And it can be understandable to say that Alejandro DID work his way there as opposed to being sort of brought there, thus maybe being the reason he was the male finalist instead. But does everybody remember Owen in TDI? He made it into the finals by doing practically nothing- aside from farting, burping, and lucking out because everyone else was so more threatening than him. He barely did anything strategy-wise! Yet people saw him as a decent winner. Same thing with Duncan- HE barely “played the game” in TDA, but he still made it to the finals, and fans LOVED him! So I’m just saying that just because Cody didn’t make all the big moves, it didn’t mean he was unworthy of winning. That’s just something to think about. One last thing about Cody- seeing Sierra follow him around everywhere was SO annoying. Why did they create her to do that? Just to creep on poor Cody- imagine if he were able to develop on his own, without Sierra having to be tied into everything he did. That’s my only complaint about Cody’s development in TDWT- while awesome to have him around, it meant having to see Sierra be almost wherever he was, which got pretty old after a while. She doesn’t deserve him at all, and no offense to Coderra fans, but it’s so creepy to have her treat him as she does. Anyways, although Cody failed to win the game (and likely never will win) he still is an awesome dude who amuses me to no end. If only he can get some “goodies” for himself later and remain the awesome and hilarious dude he is, I’ll say they handled his character right. Oh, and they should make sure that he gets some time away from Sierra next time.

-Ezekiel:

Poor Zeke. Probably the most misunderstood character within the realms of the TD universe, Ezekiel has unfortunately been tortured for far too long in the show; he needs some sort of rebirth or second coming to help him become less hated/underrated. Also, in the fanbase he is also quite a polarizing character- people seem to either love him or hate his guts. As everybody knows, he was the first person to EVER be eliminated from the show. Also, I’m sure everybody knows WHY he was the first voted off- because he makes sexist comments about women. Now, I’m sure this has been said millions of times, but I’ll stress this point again: IT CAME FROM HIS PARENTS. Therefore, I’ve always thought of this as a really bullshit reason to dislike him. Think about it- he’s been homeschooled all his life, and came to the teen reality show only because he has Vitamin D deficiency. People should not blame him entirely for that, even though it wasn’t very responsible of him to say. Still though- he barely knew better, so people hating on him for that makes no sense. For one, I don’t see how realistically all those girls suddenly got super pissed at him for that. If I were there, I’d say he didn’t know better and ignore him. But because of that one incident, his position in the series has been really shitty since day one. To make matters worse, he is later eliminated first AGAIN in TDWT after his hiatus during TDA- leading to something even worse. He slowly deteriorates into a gollum-esque monster that has become a terrible running gag for the past two seasons. Why does this guy have so much crap happen to him in the series? It’s really a big plot hole throughout the seasons- how everyone makes him out to be an awful guy when really he ought to be given a chance for once. So, why do I myself really like this guy? See, I think that in season five (which has been confirmed) he could be given a chance to move beyond the first elimination round and be given some LEGITIMATE character development. What would happen if he could stick around? Who would be his friends? Is he good in challenges? Can he be taught more about the real world? These are some questions in need of answers. Now, I’m sure that Ezekiel will never EVER win the game given his past, but he should still at least be a major character in a season and go past the merge. Why doesn’t he get a shot at this? If worn out people like Duncan can be pushed aside for more underrated people, then Ezekiel would be way more awesome! Let’s hope for it, folks…

-Trent:

Ah, Trent. So misunderstood by many, many people both inside and outside of TD. God, this guy was awesome. And by “was” I mean still is. In TDI, most people knew this guy as Gwen’s boyfriend. In reality, he was much more than just that. He was an awesome competitor who knew how to keep his cool and rock that guitar of his. If there is anyone here who either doesn’t know that or hasn’t seen it in a while, go and re-watch TDI right now. Just exit this meme right now and go watch some episodes of the good ‘ol first season- it is the quintessential season for awesome people like Trent. Seriously, why does nobody remember how awesome this guy is? I will mainly blame TDA for messing him up- there were a couple of things that made him seem less good than he was in TDI. First of all…there was the “9” incident that totally made Trent seem like a lunatic. For those who don’t know, during this timeframe he would constantly associate anything he could with the number nine- some random-ass bullshit that came seemingly right out of the writers asses. Then, they have to break him up with Gwen, after they officially go out for only, I dunno, FIVE EPISODES! I honestly think Duncan had SOMETHING to do with this- every complication of Gwen and Trent’s relationship had something to do with him (I’ll get to that assbag later, though). Regardless, it still seemed like the writers were going out of their way to make Trent seem more and more insane (not the good kind). On top of that, they denied him a spot on TDWT, where he would have ruled! Seriously, the guitarist was not in the singing season? That’s some bull right there. Although he now appears to be somewhat of a sideline character, he still has a chance to become a big dog yet again. If only the writers put him in season five and let him go far, he’ll likely regain some of his lost respect from fans and his peers on the show alike. Perhaps then he can also wrap up some loose ends with his ex…that is something else I hope for in the fifth season.

-Mike:

Of all the characters in the series, Mike is certainly one of the more oddball ones. Of course, he is one in the best sense of the word. Oddly enough, many people thought he would be the next Cody, which turned out to be somewhat of an inaccurate prediction (though they were half-right). As the only cast member to have a known psychological condition, he is unique as he sends the audience a message about having these disorders. Of course, although Multiple Personality Disorder is not that common (and may not be literally like in the show), others certainly are and we may misjudge people who have them all the time. That is the lesson with Mike, from what I can tell. Anyways, as a character he is a nice guy who seems to be somewhat socially awkward, and probably living with the fear that his alternate personalities will ruin his life. It seems like they give him plenty of trouble already, as it is. Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba Smith are their names. Whoever it is, they’ve always seemingly given Mike a harder time living. For me, I interpreted his growing relationship with Zoey to be the final challenge in overcoming his MPD issues; he loved her so much that he managed to take control of his mind and not let other figures control him- he wanted to make sure that this girl was not pushed away by his internal conflicts. And in that sense, Mike is a very dynamic and respectable guy. He’s also pretty funny though, too. Whenever he’d switch to some of the alternate personalities it was always laugh-worthy. Interestingly, at first I thought he’d make it further than he did- maybe he would make the final four or something. Even though I can see that he was not, he was still one of the most memorable characters from season four- and definitely one of the series’ flagship characters.

-Tyler:

I think Tyler is definitely a unique character in his own way on this show. Usually on a show with jock stereotypes, you get the kinds that are incredibly buff and idiotic while sometimes an asshole (*cough* Lightning *cough*). Luckily, Tyler is not the last one, but has some of the first two in him. Despite being sort of a jocko, he is not very good at sports that much, though in return he is nicer than the typical sportster. He’s sometimes just as clueless, though. Anyways, he’s got this unique charm that makes him really hilarious as a stereotype. Also, he tends to spout some funny one-liners that are actually quite clever (“We’re gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we’re gonna EAT IT!”). I think most people began to like him in TDWT, but I also personally enjoyed him in TDI as well despite his rather short stay. Despite some shortcomings, he seems to have what he needs for the most part; he’s got a girl, and has been showcased on the show as a hilarious character. If you ask me, I’d say that’s going in the right direction for his character development. If he can go even further next time, however, I’d love to see what he’d do. Until that day, we can all agree that Tyler is funny as hell!

-Geoff:

Geoff is certainly memorable as one of the more entertaining classic TD characters. Back in TDI, this dude rocked. As one of the “bros” of the Killer Bass he managed to stay chill even when his team experienced intense drama and whatnot. In particular, he was known as Bridgette’s boyfriend and the best friends of Duncan and DJ. He played the game well and went super far in he competition, placing in a respectable 6th place. Since then, however, Geoff has received very little development as a competitor, and has instead been shoved into the role of hosting a sideshow. How is THAT fair? I wish this guy could play the game again and be the “bro” of the show once more. Why? Because honestly, I think Geoff is one of the best “bro” stereotypes on any show. He was such an awesome guy in TDI that I’m surprised they just basically tossed him aside afterwards. Even though his appearances in the Aftermaths are cool, they simply are not enough for him as a character. I mean, he was awesome then, so can’t they make him awesome now? I hope that in season five they bring him back on; how much more screentime can they deprive him of? Anyways, Geoff is really cool because he just is a funny and relatable character. Sure, he was a bit of an asshole in TDA and sort of lost touch with some of his friends, but he still did awesome thing to make up for it. He stood up to Blaineley, raised a million dollars for the show in 22 minutes, and narrated all the noteworthy moments of the seasons as they progressed. I have faith that the writers will bring this guy back off the backburner for some more totally rad time in the game.

-Harold:

Until Sam debuted in TDRI, this guy was my favorite cartoon nerd. I’m sure everyone notices firsthand the huge resemblance between Harold and Napoleon Dynamite- with every “gosh”, “god” and “idiots” he truly plays an entertaining characters on the show as a parody of Napoleon. Other than that, he has a ton of wicked skills that are pretty good, though often go unappreciated. He biggest thing I dislike is that Harold always seems to get bullied by Duncan and others, who never have to pay for picking on him. I always hate that when there are cartoon nerds- the cartoon bullies never get punished in return enough. Now, back to Harold- he actually is a pretty skilled and powerful player in the series. And even though he’s sort of a writer’s punching bag, I think he still has achieved a lot and is one of the more likeable characters of the entire cast. Now, there’s one thing that people always bring up: him rigging the votes to vote off Courtney. For one, this does not make Harold the devil. I know a lot of people liked her back then, and most still do (I like Courtney as well). The thing is that he did have a reason; Duncan tormented him so much that Harold wanted to get back at him somehow- it may not have been the BEST move to make, but Harold is surely no Satan for it. There- I wanted to speak on his behalf for a sec. Anyways, Harold is pretty cool so I hope he can return and possibly be a bit better than in TDWT. You all know what I mean by that, right?

-DJ:

Man, this guy has been given such poor development recently. He was portrayed as a strong, silent guy in TDI who could be really badass. In the following seasons, however, he was made out to be a crybaby pansy that is afraid of every moving particle. Why is he being treated as such? We all knew that DJ wasn’t this much of a wimp in season one, so why is he now afraid of everything? Don’t get me wrong- I still like DJ. He’s a nice guy with good values and is able to make friends with everyone, even the villainous scum on the show. If there was one male character who could be a role model, he’d be the one. The only problem is that he’s not being played right anymore on the show- we have all this stuff with him quitting, fainting at the sight of everything, and don’t even get me started on the stupid animal curse (which, by the way, was only made as an excuse to flush out Team Victory at the start)! Also, his cameo in season four only worsened things in this department. Damn it, writers! DJ is a strong and brave character, so why don’t you portray him as such? Gosh! Regardless, DJ is still cool and I hope that maybe they can fix him up for the next season- possible allowing him to “man up” for future challenges.

-B:

Now, just so everybody knows I do not have anything against B. The only reason that he’s down here is that there isn’t too much to him besides what we’ve seen already. Yeah, I’m sure you guys hear that one a lot. But it’s true- this guy has had so little time on the show that it’s not really an even playing field when it comes to comparing him to the rest of the characters on the show. Now, I will say what I like about him. Despite not ever speaking, he still has this weird charm that makes him memorable and gives him a bit of spunk that few others on the show have. That is worth some commemoration, if you ask me. His audition tape shows that he is a genius, and you know what they say : actions tend to speak far greater than words. He was a brilliant player, but unfortunately fell at the hands of a truly despicable antagonist. That is certainly a good tragic story on this show, which is often not too deep most of the time. Anyways, he’ll be remembered and maybe can make some cool appearances later on in the show; at the very least, he really deserves that. Anything less would be a huge insult to his level of swag.

-Owen:

Man, if it isn’t Owen. You can pretty much tell he’s the series “idol” character as he is almost always around in (almost) every episode you see. We know him as the winner of season one, the big guy, and farticus. To be fairly honest, I think he’s used WAY too much. Why? Well, like I said he usually goes quite far in every season he is in- and he always places in the top eight! God, I think he may be wearing thin to the point of annoying everyone to death. Seriously- I’m sure the creators of the show idolize him to a freakishly large extent. In addition, all of the fart jokes he makes aren’t really as funny now. They were tolerable in season one, but less so as we head into the fifth. I’m guessing the main reason he’s often so long lasting in many seasons is that it’s a kids’ show and they want them to laugh at his appearances- thus boosting the shows ratings. Still, though- they can’t get away with that every season, so they ought to get new ideas about who to make go far. Now, just so y’all know I don’t really dislike Owen. I just dislike the way they’re handling him- let someone else have the spotlight for a while, writers! That’s the main point- Owen needs a break from the game, or at least as an endgamer. If they can tone him down for season five, I’ll be happy with having fewer farting jokes and Owen craziness.

-Alejandro:

Okay, NOW we’re moving into dislike territory. Alejandro is an example of a character that I find WAY too perfect. He’s such a Mary-Sue villain (or to be gender-specific, Larry-Stu) and he rarely had any opposition to him in TDWT as he kept going further in the game. Also, there was this huge plot hole where after the TDA special nobody seemed to remember that this guy was on a show called “Total Drama Scumbags”. Another thing that irks me is that Al seemingly was able to PERFECTLY set all his plans into motion and succeed. It’s like he knew EVERYTHING- when to manipulate, when to take advantage of something, and when to do this that and everything. I guess my biggest complaint is that he made the final two- and WON. What? 0_0 Doesn’t that, like, violate every rule in the Total Drama rulebook? You can’t let the bad guy win! Everyone knows that the antagonist never gets a shot at the money! Anyways, I live in the U.S where Heather won, so I consider that the “real” ending. To be honest, that’s really all there is to criticize about Alejandro. He can actually be funny at times, and sometimes he WAS cute with Heather…but he still is not my kind of character to root for. Let’s just hope that his robot suit prevents him from competing so perfectly ever again…

-Justin:

Really, there isn’t much to be said about Justin. He’s eye candy and a douche, which often are both mixed traits found in real life people. And I really hate that kind of person. Although he’s a cool side character in TDI, he becomes practically garbage in TDA. Apparently he was the villain for some part, but he never did ANYTHING! Also, he’s so full if himself that when he gets scratched a little he panics and just sort of shuts down. Not very effective, Justin. All in all, he’s pretty one-dimensional and is often not very enjoyable to watch (at least not for me, anyway). I just seriously hope that he never competes for too long in any season again, which pretty much sums up my thoughts on him. He’s pretty bland, and I hope he stays downplayed- though he still isn’t the worst of the bunch.

-Scott:

Hey Scotty? Jesus, man. Why are you so awful? I honestly believe that the creators tried to make this guy so unlikeable that he would get death threats from real life people (which he does). The only problem is, it’s not very fun to watch him be evil! Whenever this guy dupes someone, for me it gets so uncomfortable because it’s plain cruel what he does to everyone. Plus, his voice is so annoying- not a real criticism, but it’s soooooo hard to listen to! I honestly have no idea why it took everyone else so long to figure out he was up to something! I’m guessing that he was brought up wrong, and ended up being a hateful bastard as a result. Though it is still no excuse for what he does in the season! I just really wish that he hadn’t employed the “sabotaging” tactic- because of it, he cost so many people a shot at winning that were likable. And I’m not sure if he did this on purpose or not, but he seemingly carried Lightning- the dumbest and worst player there was- along with him further than the other Toxic Rats! What a waste. Additionally, I see no possibility in Scott ever getting in a relationship with Dawn- it really is mind-boggling how many people support the shipping. No offense to fans of the couple, but it has no chemistry whatsoever realistically. They hate each other’s guts, so it really doesn’t hold much chance. Come to think of it, Scott wouldn’t really be compatible with ANYONE! Seriously, he deserves no women! Finally, I honestly believe he got exactly what he deserved- to be torn apart by Fang. I know some people disagree, but seriously, what else did you expect to see? And since he’s a cartoon I am not obligated to show any sympathy to him no matter how badly he suffered. After seeing what he did to Dawn…and Mike…he ought to have no mercy shown to him. My last wish is that he never EVER competes again, due to his disfigurations. May Total Drama’s Jesus prevent that from happening folks.

-Duncan:

Wow, what an adorable little ASSHOLE this guy is. Before I rant on about how this guy is one of the worst characters to ever show his face on this show, let me go through some stuff about him leading up to his shameful shitdom. First, let’s begin with, well, the beginning of this guy’s trek through the series. He was originally the series “bad boy”, and despite his stereotype, we saw he had a soft side. It was actually kind of cool, and it made him seem more real of a guy. He made it far, but was sadly eliminated near the end, finishing in a respectable 4th. By the time Total Drama Island was over, there was one thing I always kept hearing within the fandom: “Duncan should have won”. Wow, there were a lot of people who were apparently quite upset that this guy did not win. I mean, sure, he was kind of a cool character, but people were SO UPSET about how Duncan got eliminated and wasn’t in the finals. They’d even curse Owen and stuff- quite an emotional backlash in the name of a fictional character. It kind of shocked me, too. Also, there was a huge buzz among the fans at the time that this was going on: DUNCNEY. This couple was arguably the most talked about thing at the time, and was giving people fangasms left and right, as far as he eye could see. I like it too, to say the least. Now, I’ll go on more about that in a sec, but for now, we’ll stick to Duncan himself. Anyways, going into TDA many people were glad to see this guy again. It was, like, the second coming of Jesus for fans of Total Drama, and for Duncan fans in particular. Oddly enough, he would also make it far in season two of the show. However, along the way he was not quite the same. Instead of being a deep guy with some rationale, he slowly became…more like his stereotype. He began to bully Harold more than in season one. He became a harsh and manipulative asshole who would pick people off the show and act rude to even the nicest people there were (like Lindsay). Even worse, the relationship he had with Courtney spiraled out of control like nothing else in this season, and unfortunately, it was not very enjoyable to watch. Finally, in the end this dickhead managed to win, unlike the previous season. Now, I’m sure some people were super happy and appeased by this happening, but it really seemed like only one little accomplishment, since this wasn’t exactly a top-notch season. It’s like seeing a tiny, sparkling diamond in a mountain of cow shit. That’s how insignificant it was to me. So many people were like, “ZOMG Duncan won, he’s so hawt, and I want him 2 have mah baybez!” See, Duncan pretty much won against the smallest seasonal cast of the show at the time- only fourteen people (compared to the original twenty-two). Not too much to brag about, really. I’m surprised he was portrayed as a protagonistic character when he did such awful and sometimes unforgivable things. I mean, who else felt for Harold, LeShawna, and others as he bullied them to no end? That, if anything, was the true beginning of his downfall. Now, going into TDWT things were looking pretty good. Duncan was eliminated first, after two seasons of his non-stop appearance. He would get a break, and everybody else would not have to deal with him. For the first twelve episodes of the season, the show was quite enjoyable and was a fresh change from the usual “Duncan-fests” that were seasons one and two. However, about halfway through the season he came back to the show, and in the most inflammatory twist the show has ever seen, he CHEATS on his girlfriend and dicks around with another girl- Gwen. Oh my god. And I mean OH. MY. GOD. Gwen is actually awesome in her own little way (check out my girls meme for my thoughts on her). For Duncan to come in and make her look like a moron really angered me, thus becoming the first of many of TDWT’s major flaws. As if we hadn’t seen this jackass enough in the series thus far, he was back and went very far here, once again picking off people who would have been WAY better in his position of a far-going contestant. What really makes it bad is that this guy shows no remorse for ANYTHING he does, whether it be lying, cheating, or just plain SUCKING. Seeing him do all of this toked up bullshit really made me wonder why so many people wanted him to win so badly in TDI and TDA- truth is, he would have been way better off being a bit more downplayed after season one. But as we know, the fans adored him for whatever reason, and his time on the show just kept getting prolonged. Now, as of this point the conflicts started by Duncan in TDWT and earlier have still been unresolved- this really makes me wish that he never caused them, and that ne had never been found in London that fateful night. A few days ago, however, Tom McGillis, who created this wonderful show, said that season five WAS in fact happening, which makes me wonder if some of the issues from TDWT can be resolved here. It would be a shame for this guy to get off scot-free, so I am praying that if he returns, he will get exactly what he deserves. He has not been fully punished for his actions, and hopefully when the time comes he will get his comeuppance. Until that day, we can only hope Duncan doesn’t screw up anything else great about the franchise- his evil essence must be punished for his wrongdoings, and I’m sure that many, MANY fans would love to see that day come.

-Lightning:

This is it. The blandest of the bland. The dumbest of the dumb. The worst of the worst. This has got to be the most stuck up, arrogant, selfish, clueless, self-centered, pretentious, idiotic, whining little BITCH BAG that you will ever see in your entire life! I mean, that would be an okay character to have in a season and have to satirize stereotypical egotistic jocks- if he was an EARLY BOOT! But he’s not. This guy lasts throughout the entire season, and somehow never gets his ass booted off the freaking show. As a result, he became a finalist, which forced us to deal with his idiocy and blandness throughout the entire season. What did he even do to deserve such a priceless position in the game? Come to think of it, does Lightning have any credibility at ALL? I will never figure out why the show’s writers decided to make him go far in this season. In fact, I’d like to know who decided, “Hey, this obviously cardboard cutout jock guy would make a GREAT finalist in this season of other very interesting characters.” Quick little fact of irony; this guy got my favorite character from season four eliminated, which made me SUPER angry at how he managed to be kept above all of the other more interesting people from TDRI. Okay, so what do I REALLY hate about this guy? Well, let’s look at him by examining many different aspects of his character. First, let’s take a good look at his name. Just by knowing his name, you can already tell immediately that this guy is some sort of egotist hardhead if he has the nerve to commonly go by a name like “Lightning”. As if to imply he’s the fastest, the best, or downright unstoppable. If only he had a more down to earth name such as “Terrance”, “Marshall”, or even freaking “Keith”! KEITH, of all names, would have been a far more easy to stand name than Lightning- that’s how bad it is. (No offense to anybody named Keith.) Second, let’s examine the way he talks. Whenever this stupid moron opens his mouth, what do you all hear? Sha-bam, sha-boom, and stuff about some guy named “Lightnin’” . Look, I know that sometimes these sudden, incoherent words can be amusing, but they get old REALLY FAST. Seriously, the guy almost never makes sense with his words and that REALLY pisses me off because there were so many other well-spoken contestants in this season that deserved to make it WAY further than he did. With him, he’s just spewing all this random and unintelligent bullshit that, more often than not, has NO relevance to the plot of the episode. In fact, that’s reminds me of the defining word for his speech patterns: IRRELEVANT. There’s nothing else at all about it that’s interesting or even endearing. But do you want to know the worst part? The biggest problem, the most frustrating part to this god-awful jerk-ass, is that we’re supposed to take this guy SERIOUSLY. Yeah, that’s right. The writers tried to present him in a way that would make us look at him and say, “Hey, this is a guy I can totally get behind. He sure knows how to play the game, and is very relatable to other noble people who ought to have the spotlight on ‘em.” Nope. This guy has nothing to make him at all rootable for. He has no strategy, no specific plot, and quite honestly, no REAL achievements. Think about it; throughout the season he loses and loses so much, and despite his occasional challenge wins, he still really is just a big loser. He’s no real star; he only got to stay so long out of pure luck (though Scott’s actions may have affected Lightning’s fate). He’s just a poor, soulless guy with a father that demands that he achieve all this ludicrous stuff. As a result, he created a persona- Lightning- to fill this void in his soul, and would try to impress his pop by doing sports and being “number one” in all of them. That way, all the self-esteem that he had, based off of the way his father perceived him, could increase. You could clearly sense that during the finale, where his arrogant father ignored his own son when he had made it to the finals. Anyways, the poor shmuck probably was tormented by this constant losing during Total Drama, which is really what made him “evil” near the end of the season. My big theory is this: He got tired of losing to the point where he snapped, and just went all out, vowing to win the overall competition. See, it was when Cameron won that one challenge that Lightning just got sick and tired of falling short of being number one. He lashed out at the winner- Cameron- and decided to tear him to pieces on is way to the “Grand Sha-bang”. Now, to be honest that is actually a really GOOD tragic story of a character. If they had presented Lightning in this manner, it may have been a highly symbolic way to show his pain. Also, he could have been more respectable and draw sympathy from the fans had he had a story like this one. Unfortunately, that is not how he was presented at all. Everything in regard to him just happened for no reason and with no explanation at all. Was the theory I had presented earlier really what the writers were intending to portray with Lightning? I don’t know. We may never know, in fact. And that is what really makes my blood boil. It’s just a huge opportunity these guys wasted, using him as finalist material. See, what they don’t understand is that buff, arrogant, and jerk-ass male characters are NOT the kind of characters we want to see in the final two- they just make us hate the fact that other characters we liked were eliminated before them. Lightning is probably the worst, due to his purely WTF presence in the finale as a finalist. Although they can’t change the past, I’m sure that the writers are today lying awake at night, haunted by their choice to have him go far, and constantly ask themselves, “What could have been?” I hope it haunts them forever, the fact that Lightning was made into the guy he is by the writing staff- we can never undo his role in the season, and he will forever be a flaw in season four. Hopefully, his broken legs and busted up self will never appear on the show ever again…that is all we can ever hope for as fans of this wonderful series. Amen.

[link] : I reference this in the meme

Credit goes to for creating the original meme, and for making the updated version.

All characters here © of Fresh TV, Teletoon, and the creators (Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch).