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Description
"I've found you," Tikiflame whispered softly, shock echoing through her voice.

The air was still and quiet, snowflakes drifting down softly from the clouds above. Tikiflame herself was frozen, snow clinging to her black fur as she stood in the drift.

Taikalight just looked at her.

"You know, I wasn't worried," she murmured. "When Winterstorm told me she hadn't seen you in two days. I thought you were…"

Taikalight looked down to the ground, not meeting her eyes. The air around him seemed to thrum and pulse, light emanating off of the body that Tikiflame could see through far too much.

"You ran away, after we talked."

Taikalight didn't meet her eyes, paws shuffling on the snow without making a mark.

"I promised that I would help you find your place. I promised you that everything would be fine."

Her voice was faltering, and Taikalight finally raised his head to look at her. Tikiflame was trembling, ears pinned back and eyes wide.

"I came looking for you," she cried. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "I thought I would find you."

Her claws dug into the snow below her paws.

"I didn't know it would be like this."

----

In the past, I've always had it so that Tikiflame is present when Taikalight dies. She watches as he gets hit by the car, unable to do anything, and that is what escalates the damage done to her psyche. But I decided I didn't really like that anymore.

One, it feels… brutal, at some level, to have her witness this and feel as though she's at fault in that manner. She thinks to herself that she could've pushed him out of the way had she not been frozen, or not caused him to run into the road (even though she didn't really have anything to do with it).

Two, I think the loss is more impactful when it's not overlaid by horror. It's never been a pretty sight in my interpretations of Taikalight's death. Cats hit by cars rarely are. So it's hitting Tikiflame more that her brother has been brutally killed by a car and is left in a very disturbing state. Tikiflame doesn't need to see that, I don't think.

So I've decided that Taikalight goes out after Tikiflame has a heart-to-heart with him. The talk has always been present, but where Taikalight ran off into the road directly after the talk, I'm having him go for a little trip to consider her points. Then, he's distracted, and the car still hits him. But Tikiflame isn't there and she doesn't know. She never sees his body.

After a couple of days, she's getting worried, and goes out to find him. Then, she does find him… just not in the way she expects.

And I think that now the sense of guilt she carries that causes her to lose touch with her closest relationships is more due to the fact that she wishes she had left earlier. Instead of seeing her brother mauled, she's seeing his spirit, and so she knows he's dead, but doesn't know how. She still has survivor's guilt, but it's more emotional instead of visceral.

We'll see if I keep this change to this critical part of the story, but I'm appreciating where it is now.

Description
"I've found you," Tikiflame whispered softly, shock echoing through her voice.

The air was still and quiet, snowflakes drifting down softly from the clouds above. Tikiflame herself was frozen, snow clinging to her black fur as she stood in the drift.

Taikalight just looked at her.

"You know, I wasn't worried," she murmured. "When Winterstorm told me she hadn't seen you in two days. I thought you were…"

Taikalight looked down to the ground, not meeting her eyes. The air around him seemed to thrum and pulse, light emanating off of the body that Tikiflame could see through far too much.

"You ran away, after we talked."

Taikalight didn't meet her eyes, paws shuffling on the snow without making a mark.

"I promised that I would help you find your place. I promised you that everything would be fine."

Her voice was faltering, and Taikalight finally raised his head to look at her. Tikiflame was trembling, ears pinned back and eyes wide.

"I came looking for you," she cried. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "I thought I would find you."

Her claws dug into the snow below her paws.

"I didn't know it would be like this."

----

In the past, I've always had it so that Tikiflame is present when Taikalight dies. She watches as he gets hit by the car, unable to do anything, and that is what escalates the damage done to her psyche. But I decided I didn't really like that anymore.

One, it feels… brutal, at some level, to have her witness this and feel as though she's at fault in that manner. She thinks to herself that she could've pushed him out of the way had she not been frozen, or not caused him to run into the road (even though she didn't really have anything to do with it).

Two, I think the loss is more impactful when it's not overlaid by horror. It's never been a pretty sight in my interpretations of Taikalight's death. Cats hit by cars rarely are. So it's hitting Tikiflame more that her brother has been brutally killed by a car and is left in a very disturbing state. Tikiflame doesn't need to see that, I don't think.

So I've decided that Taikalight goes out after Tikiflame has a heart-to-heart with him. The talk has always been present, but where Taikalight ran off into the road directly after the talk, I'm having him go for a little trip to consider her points. Then, he's distracted, and the car still hits him. But Tikiflame isn't there and she doesn't know. She never sees his body.

After a couple of days, she's getting worried, and goes out to find him. Then, she does find him… just not in the way she expects.

And I think that now the sense of guilt she carries that causes her to lose touch with her closest relationships is more due to the fact that she wishes she had left earlier. Instead of seeing her brother mauled, she's seeing his spirit, and so she knows he's dead, but doesn't know how. She still has survivor's guilt, but it's more emotional instead of visceral.

We'll see if I keep this change to this critical part of the story, but I'm appreciating where it is now.