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CloudNumber8 — My Virginity
Published: 2012-03-15 22:13:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 12801; Favourites: 387; Downloads: 124
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Description Woe betide this beautiful, charming boy
Trying too hard to fill your heart with joy
Selfless deeds do still exist
But suspicious minds  prefer you to be selfish

Take care though and consider with caution
Allowing me too close can lead to obsession
Regulate your responses in such a way
That I won't misinterpret the words you say

This confession means nothing to you
But it means a great deal to me
You are the branches, I am the leaves
Now I fall, I'm free
This confession means nothing to you
But it means a great deal to me
I have nothing left to declare
But my virginity

The light that shone, you're a glimpse of destiny
A photograph, a fragrance triggered memory
The light that shone, you illuminate my history
My present, my future, the unwritten story

So font of all amity,  here is my cup
Rinse out all of the hurt, and fill me up
With love to the brim and let it overflow
The meek shall not inherit the world until tomorrow

This confession means nothing to you
But it means a great deal to me
You are the branches, I am the leaves
now I fall, I'm free
This confession means nothing to you
But it means a great deal to me
I have nothing left to declare
But my virginity
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Comments: 266

CloudNumber8 In reply to ??? [2012-04-03 17:04:19 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheGrayHand [2012-03-31 11:42:23 +0000 UTC]

My God, you're good. This is brilliant.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to TheGrayHand [2012-03-31 12:42:04 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much. Thank you for the llama and the watch also

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheGrayHand In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-04-02 02:47:58 +0000 UTC]

Ah, it's my pleasure to be able to read the work of such a talented artist.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nightlynxness [2012-03-21 17:26:57 +0000 UTC]

How sweet, how pure, how overflowing his love I like!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to nightlynxness [2012-03-21 17:38:44 +0000 UTC]

aww you have being very kind to me. Thanks for the faves too!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lovemypunkin7 [2012-03-20 17:36:45 +0000 UTC]

can i use the italicized portion in a signature on every website that im on?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to lovemypunkin7 [2012-03-20 18:37:07 +0000 UTC]

yeah, i dont see why not. If there was anyway you could link it to the poem i would love that. But if not you can still use it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lovemypunkin7 In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-21 15:21:52 +0000 UTC]

i put a ~ then your name hope that is sufficent enough to not get into trouble.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to lovemypunkin7 [2012-03-21 17:42:38 +0000 UTC]

yeah, you wont be getting in trouble from me thats for certain

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lovemypunkin7 In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-22 13:33:25 +0000 UTC]

sweet!
i just really loved that portion of the poem, thanx again

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Streamwolf8 [2012-03-20 13:34:55 +0000 UTC]

This is very nice indeed It seems like it could be quite successful as a song, as well. I think I like the first stanza best...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Streamwolf8 [2012-03-20 16:56:45 +0000 UTC]

i think most of these wil become songs at some point whether anyone hears them is a different matter lol

thank you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Curabitar [2012-03-20 08:54:26 +0000 UTC]

I like this alot

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Curabitar [2012-03-20 09:50:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Curabitar In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-20 09:51:58 +0000 UTC]

no prob

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

callmibambi394 [2012-03-20 06:33:09 +0000 UTC]

Wow! Its so beautifully written. I literally could hear the piano playing behind the parts in italics. XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to callmibambi394 [2012-03-20 08:04:10 +0000 UTC]

thank you. I am glad you liked it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

callmibambi394 In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-22 00:05:14 +0000 UTC]

Yo welcome ^-^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Mr-Black-Bird [2012-03-20 05:11:04 +0000 UTC]

I think this could use some work. It has some great concepts/ideas but I don't think it meshes overall. The rhyming stanzas seem awkward when you read them, as if they have too many syllables to fit into a rhythm, try reading this out loud and see if you get the same feeling. Also some of the wording doesn't make a lot of sense, it almost seems jarring at points, though perhaps this was intentional.
But I did very much enjoy the stanzas in italic, particularly the sentence: "You are the branches, I am the leaves, now I fall, I'm free." Such great imagery!
Keep up the good work

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Mr-Black-Bird [2012-03-20 08:00:26 +0000 UTC]

thanks for the critique. I understand what you are saying and in some ways agree. It does feel a bit dis-jointed. I actually (believe it or not lol) spend alot of time editing these poems before i upload, taking words in taking words out to try and make it flow. Sometimes it feels like a balancing act between getting a good flow and getting the point of the poem across.

I will definitely keep your words in mind when writing in the future

thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

prollygon [2012-03-20 03:30:12 +0000 UTC]

Sounds like SOMEONE needs to get laid.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to prollygon [2012-03-20 08:04:36 +0000 UTC]

lol i cant think you that could be

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nenybun-ofthe-moon93 [2012-03-20 01:55:57 +0000 UTC]

wow this poem is so beautiful at first i didnt kno wat 2 write nicelly done

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to nenybun-ofthe-moon93 [2012-03-20 02:29:59 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for commenting

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nenybun-ofthe-moon93 In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-20 20:00:08 +0000 UTC]

ur welcome ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NYCrainbow6 [2012-03-20 01:31:26 +0000 UTC]

*sob* this is BEAAAAAUUTIFULLY written.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to NYCrainbow6 [2012-03-20 01:35:24 +0000 UTC]

thanks and thanks for the faves

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NYCrainbow6 In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-20 01:36:06 +0000 UTC]

hha you're welcome as always!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Ikarishiiping4ever [2012-03-17 21:15:34 +0000 UTC]

This is beautiful~ Very well written~ Great job!~ ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Ikarishiiping4ever [2012-03-17 21:31:31 +0000 UTC]

glad you like it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ikarishiiping4ever In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-17 21:36:12 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Pic-sedhi [2012-03-17 14:40:23 +0000 UTC]

So is this David Ayer?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Pic-sedhi [2012-03-17 15:19:19 +0000 UTC]

i have no idea what you are talking about lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Pic-sedhi In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-17 18:16:44 +0000 UTC]

Like I said, It doesn't matter if you are not David, than don't worry about it. Again, if you are not him, than I apologize.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Pic-sedhi [2012-03-17 18:25:25 +0000 UTC]

why did you think i was? you messaged me first.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Pic-sedhi In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-17 22:57:30 +0000 UTC]

Yes first but so curious of you to ask yet again after I said wrong person and does it matter now if you are not David Ayer? Sounds like something he would say or do David Ayer loves to blame everyone for his problems but himself. Lies for his own benefit. Why would you even ask if you are not him? I thought you were speaking to some of the people I know here and I am most likely correct. I know what David is all about. Yet he does not know I know how creepy he really can be give this kid some attention and everything is a joke yet really it is not a joke it is his cruel intentions that is the way this kid operates. He thinks everyone is his servant and he has no real friends.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Pic-sedhi [2012-03-17 23:04:40 +0000 UTC]

lol i have no idea what you are talking about again

Seriously you left about 10 messages on my profile talking about some guy i dont even know

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Pic-sedhi In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-17 23:11:22 +0000 UTC]

Ok hun so sorry to have bothered you again. 10 messages gee I really did think you were David. Its fine I will not return.
Cheers!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MusicRulzMyMind [2012-03-17 05:17:32 +0000 UTC]

amazing. You have some serious talent.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to MusicRulzMyMind [2012-03-17 12:14:39 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much I am glad you enjoyed this and took time to comment

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MusicRulzMyMind In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-18 03:04:41 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AdrianosArt [2012-03-17 01:07:11 +0000 UTC]

Looking towards the new beginning. I like it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to AdrianosArt [2012-03-17 12:15:17 +0000 UTC]

yep thank you!

not sure if its ok to hug an emperor

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

AdrianosArt In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-17 22:12:58 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. And it's definitely okay to hug an emperor. This emperor just happens to love hugs!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to AdrianosArt [2012-03-17 22:15:12 +0000 UTC]

yay

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

AdrianosArt In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-17 22:17:46 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Soprity [2012-03-17 00:43:02 +0000 UTC]

great job I think I going to read it again

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CloudNumber8 In reply to Soprity [2012-03-17 12:15:47 +0000 UTC]

aww thanks. i get nervous when people re-read. They might realise they didnt like it as much as they thought lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Soprity In reply to CloudNumber8 [2012-03-18 00:25:55 +0000 UTC]

oh don't think like that. You should want everyone to read your material repeatedly

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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