Comments: 15
Angeloflifelight [2010-02-23 20:58:17 +0000 UTC]
How did she say "Yes, Mistress, I am sure." if she was gagged?
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cordefr In reply to Angeloflifelight [2010-02-23 21:41:32 +0000 UTC]
That dialog had taken place a few weeks earlier already: So she couldn't answer, but we had discussed the very question already a few weeks earlier.
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cordefr In reply to Angeloflifelight [2010-02-23 21:55:34 +0000 UTC]
My bad, I suppose, it should have been written more clearly.
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Subdivided17 [2009-09-24 13:27:10 +0000 UTC]
I disagree. I think the ending is appropriate. When Dom/mes ignore a safe word the mood comes to an abrupt halt. Trust is broken and immediately nothing can or will be the same again. That was conveyed in the abrupt ending of the story. There is no turning back. There is nothing to continue. Just that quickly all that was is over in a flash. I think you did an excellent job on this piece.
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cordefr In reply to Subdivided17 [2009-09-24 16:13:26 +0000 UTC]
I agree with you, about the value of a safe word. But I like to give a sort of twist at the end of my stories, and here I found no better than insisting again on that.
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azad-janan21 [2009-09-19 21:58:28 +0000 UTC]
I think it's a good lesson. Very well done. The power of a safe word or action should always be respected.
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ED3765 [2009-09-17 16:39:16 +0000 UTC]
this is certainly a good story and a lesson on how important trust is between two people when doing bondage. I thought you did a good job writing it except the ending seem kind of short and rushed.
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cordefr In reply to ED3765 [2009-09-18 08:25:26 +0000 UTC]
Yes, I agree. The ending is very weak.
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Jhost [2009-09-17 01:11:53 +0000 UTC]
Holy crap.
Yeah, definitely, I suppose my reaction to this is similar to the one you had to my "Bloodlust" story. It is very uncharacteristic, a little vulgar in its language, but not at all bad. Very intense.
I feel like it kind of ends abruptly, though. I almost want to see it go back to her walking out the door, so there can be a little more resolution, a little bit of final dialogue to put that proper period on things.
Descriptions were fantastic--my own heart started to race at certain parts. In the context of your body of work as a whole, even more so since it's so dark compared to your usual comedic element.
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cordefr In reply to Jhost [2009-09-17 06:03:30 +0000 UTC]
I just reread "Bloodlust" and some of the ideas are similar of course.
I feel like it kind of ends abruptly, though.
Yes, I think the end is rather weak, the problem is that the story is told, Helena walks out and that's it.
a little vulgar in its language
I need to include some erotic descriptive to convey the passion that's going on. Actually it's tame compared to some of the stuff I encounter on DA.
Holy crap.
Umm yeah, I wrote this already some months ago. And I wasn't too sure if I would put it up or not. It was writing as therapy again.
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Jhost In reply to cordefr [2009-09-20 21:40:57 +0000 UTC]
Writing as therapy is always a great deal of fun, I agree. Whether or not you wish to disclose it to a general audience is definitely another matter entirely.
To resolve the problem of the ending, did you think about perhaps moving the beginning of the story (or at least part of it) to the end? I think it could work.
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cordefr In reply to Jhost [2009-09-21 11:48:08 +0000 UTC]
Writing as therapy is always a great deal of fun
Especially for the shrinks?
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Jhost In reply to cordefr [2009-09-21 14:46:25 +0000 UTC]
Especially for the shrinks.
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