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Description
it's been a month. it's weird, the time i spent with her feels like a dream now. like it didn't even happen. the first week was hard, but i was suprised at how quickly i recovered. i was terrified that once Chaos died my mental health would spiral, but i was able to hold my ground pretty well. she was old and i was expecting it. these past few days i've been really active (wich is really weird cause i'm a very sloth person); fixing my bike, doing laundry, cleaning my room out, ect. i'm doing pretty good, despite my hypochondria looming over me. i've even been thinking about fixing my sleep schedule so i'm not waking up at 1pm (this is a long long habit of mine). a silly part of me feels bad that i stopped grieving so quickly. there are so many other cats in my neighborhood so i've been spending more time with them to make up for the time i've now lost with Chaos. it's not very satisfying though; all other cats pale in comparison to her. i try to pick them up and they jump away. Chaos loved to be held. to cuddle and purr and meow. dear god did she love to meow. it's quiet now. i guess what i'm trying to say is i'm ok. i'm not sad when i see photos or videos of her cause i love her too much. i can't feel anyting but happiness when i look at her.

Description
it's been a month. it's weird, the time i spent with her feels like a dream now. like it didn't even happen. the first week was hard, but i was suprised at how quickly i recovered. i was terrified that once Chaos died my mental health would spiral, but i was able to hold my ground pretty well. she was old and i was expecting it. these past few days i've been really active (wich is really weird cause i'm a very sloth person); fixing my bike, doing laundry, cleaning my room out, ect. i'm doing pretty good, despite my hypochondria looming over me. i've even been thinking about fixing my sleep schedule so i'm not waking up at 1pm (this is a long long habit of mine). a silly part of me feels bad that i stopped grieving so quickly. there are so many other cats in my neighborhood so i've been spending more time with them to make up for the time i've now lost with Chaos. it's not very satisfying though; all other cats pale in comparison to her. i try to pick them up and they jump away. Chaos loved to be held. to cuddle and purr and meow. dear god did she love to meow. it's quiet now. i guess what i'm trying to say is i'm ok. i'm not sad when i see photos or videos of her cause i love her too much. i can't feel anyting but happiness when i look at her.