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Boy Scouts
Hibiscus Teahouse

Bone Bowl

The Matriarch's Diner

Salt Lick

Spice Ridge Meats

[/u/ericbierle] The Homebrew

[/u/JudgeGusBus] The Grisly Spoon

[/u/JudgeGusBus] The Twisted Spit

[/u/JudgeGusBus] Malice's Restaurant

Who gets extra rations?

Who gets the extra healing potions?

Which area receives reinforcements?

Which front receives more sniper support?

Is it worth the manpower to send a covert unit to sabotage the enemy?

How do you depose of the dead?

Suggested by /u/piss-and-shit

7. Man the gate that's being beaten on, or man the wall that's being climbed?

8. Focus artillery on siege towers or the enemy command?

9. Focus resources on digging in trying to escape?

10. Accept or deny temporary ceasefire and food supply?

11. Respect the ceasefire and take a long rest or ambush the enemy?

12. Focus on repairing the wall or repairing equipment?

13. Respect the tradition of the locals, or take the ancestral magic weapon to defend them?

14. Eliminate a momentarily vulnerable enemy lieutenant or rescue an NPC who's in danger?

Suggested by /u/Marxist_Steve

15. What is a plan of retreat if the defense fails?

16. How do we stagger our troops time in defense to give them rest?

17. Do we try a counter-attack?

18. Should we look for enemy moles?

Suggested by /u/kandoras

19. Do you conserve your finite supply of rations by forcing the women and children out of the castle?

Suggested by /u/World_of_Ideas

20. Where do you position people to defend against breaches?

21. What signal do you use to warn defenders that invaders are attacking a particular side?

22. What signal do you use to warn defenders that invaders are about to breach a particular spot?

23. What signal do you use to warn defenders of an incoming barrage of arrows or siege engine fire?

24. Who gets to collect enemy arrows so you can resupply your archers?

Suggested by /u/PurpleMurex

25. Do you let commoners man the battlements since can easily die, but may be able to help?

26. How many torches/bonfires do you have and who's in charge of distribution?

27. How much of the battlements or battlefield do you light up?

28. Who is on watch?

29. Do you use all your material to barricade the door or do you set up additional barricades inside or outside the fort?

30. How can melee fighters be best used?

Suggested by /u/ijustcomment

31. How do you defend against magical infiltration?

32. How do you prepare for riots?

33. How do you prevent attacks from siege weapons?

34. How do you prevent soldiers from surrendering?

35. How do you get communications out to allies? Do you enforce martial law?

Suggested by /u/DiabolicalSuccubus

36. Do we base our surrender on when the food runs out or when the toilet paper runs out?

Why look here at the GORILLAROO, the head and torso of a gorilla and the legs and tail of a kangaroo.

Next is the SHARKADILLA. Half shark, half crocodile.

Over there is the CAT-HAWK.

Here we have a LIZUCK, that's a lizard and a duck.

Then there's the HORSEA, I know a half horse half fish maybe should have been called a Seahorse, but that name was already trademarked.

OWLIGATOR: part owl and part gator

FERALTAUR: a centaur like being, part gorilla part zebra

SKADGERILLO: it has the head of a badger, body of an armadillo, and tail and stink glands of a skunk.

DINOSAIC: it has the body and neck of an apatosaurus, head of a Tyrannosaurus, horns and frills of a triceratops, played and spines of a stegosaurus, wings of a pteranodon on it's back. Despite this it is somehow not a dragon

PRIMATIAL - Human/Chimpanzee - They are the smart primates from Planet of the Apes. Not human not ape, but, something in between.

AARD-HORSE- A mix between a horse and an aardvark. So a horse that eats insects with a long tongue, has no teeth, has large sharp claws on its front feet, cover in shaggy hair.

PLATYPUS-HARE- a mix between a platypus and a hare. A hare that can run fast like a hare, has poison spurs on its back legs, sweats milk, lays eggs, and paddle through water with its beaver tail.

HOG-MONKEYS- Monkeys and Hogs - a creature that combines the head of a hog and the body of a monkey. Vicious and veracious eaters that are able to quickly attack, raid, eat, and leave before most can figure out what is going on.

HIVERS - Man and Ant - A humanoid specie that combines the social structure and lack of emotions and shame of ants with intermingled body structure man and insect. Hivers care more about the survival of the hive or their own lives and will rarely leave their hive unless banished or ordered to by their queen. (Kenshi inspired)

CAT-TLE- Cat and buffalo- A omnivore hooved, horned, cat-headed creature that combines the fickle nature of a cat with the strength and speed of a buffalo.

GOAT-PHER- Gopher and Goat- a medium sized creature that makes complex tunnel systems that can span for miles across and down. Capable of eating anything they can physically chew and swallow with little ill effects.

SHARK-SCORPION - head and body of a shark, legs and tail of a scorpion.

GORILLA-DILLO - Gorilla with armor plating, claws, ears, and tail of an armadillo

MIMICTAUR: Just barely passes the Turing test, a human shaped mimic that one can converse with, but whose chest cavity opens up much like a mimic when a victim gets too close. Often takes the shape of human who are either vulnerable or weathy.

OCTOPOD - An octopus with eight different arms. Many variations and combinations of arms exist and ultimately it was determined that the octopus was the only spices intelligent enough to operate eight different arms in concert.

BUFFALOCUST : part wild bovine part grasshopper. Their ravenous leaping herds breed and grow fast like insects and eat anything green and growing in their path. ...

The Amulet of Bare Strength - makes your clothes invisible

Goggles of true seaing - allows you to see the nearest ocean

Short sword of Weekness - every Monday this short sword becomes a long sword

Gauntlets of seaming - while wearing these gauntlets, any hole in your clothes seals itself

Bow of the Waists - instead of dealing damage, the arrows shot from the bow add pounds of fat to the target’s waistline.

Plus bun short sword: every successful hit generates a hot cross bun in the air next to the target. (The bun then falls it is not suspended) ((Absestbro))

Bag pipes of hiding, while playing the bagpipes you are invisible (the sound is still very audible) ((Somebody0nceToldMe))

Kite shield: a broom of flying and gives the same bonus to ac as a shield ((AwesomeTopHat))

Potion of Dis-Guy’s-Voice: When consumed, gives you a thick New York accent. ((Thin-Man))

Wand of Heal-Ing: Only heals things that end in “-ing”. ((Thin-Man))

Book of spelling: a picture book illustrating the common alphabet that gives +2 to any magical effect caused by a caster, must be attuned by a creature with less than 10 int ((inkwell13))

Eyes of Minute Seeing: they display the time. ((FirstChAoS))

Brassiere summoning Fire elemental: if burned (usually in protest) a fire elemental is summoned from the cups. Warning, do not apply fire when wearing. ((FirstChAoS))

Censor Controlling Air Elementals: it bleeps out any profanity spoken by air elementals. ((FirstChAoS))

Helm of Brilliance: it shines brightly when worn. ((FirstChAoS))

Marvelous Pig Mints: it gives any pigs who eat them minty fresh breath. ((FirstChAoS))

Slippers of Spider Climbing: you can now climb on any spider with ease. ((FirstChAoS))

Ring of Animal Influenza: on activation the wearer comes down with swine flu, bird flu, or any other flu strain which has jumped from animals to humans. ((FirstChAoS))

Wand of Wander: roll 1d4. 1. Is north, 2. South,3. East, 4. West. The wands user starts walking off in that direction. ((FirstChAoS))

Rod of Lordly Mites: it summons tiny arachnids with a big ego. ((FirstChAoS))

Mall of the Titans: this hammer summons the user to a shopping center for giants. ((FirstChAoS))

Dagger of Venom: this dagger when activated releases a black pudding which coats the users body but does not harm them. They get the use of spider climb and web. However the users pronouns change to we and they crave brains. ((FirstChAoS))

Holy Scavenger: this sword has a face and can talk and animate itself. However all it talks about it feasting on cleric flesh.if you come accross a dead cleric, Paladin, or other man of faith the sword will fly to the location and start eating the corpse. Once fed it gets a +2 bonus. ((FirstChAoS))

Cape of feather fall - When using feathers begin to fall around you. How you're going to carry the cape away from the coast is beyond me but there it is. ((The_Dumb_WeeB))

Recanter of Endless Water: when used it speaks and says how endless water is impossible. ((FirstChAoS))

Bag of Withholding: it keeps a portion of anything placed inside of it. ((FirstChAoS))

Portable Whole: when you step through this hole you end up in the exact spot you were before. It is a hole that contains the whole of reality. Sadly it got lost inside the reality it contains. ((FirstChAoS))

Gauntlets of Odor Power: when worn a ten foot radius around the user has the effect of a stinking cloud spell. ((FirstChAoS))

Decanter Of Endless Water __________: when activated it produces an endless stream of a random thing that starts with water until stopped. It could be watermelons, water buffalo, waterbears, etc. ((FirstChAoS))

Hat of Inspiration - Cursed hat, containing the soul of a devil which whispers evil suggestions to the wearer. ((EmpireofAzad))

seat belt, does not require attunement: with this item equipped, you can sit wherever you like, with an ornate seat that sprouts from the belt, and disappears when standing. ((g4ttsu))

Boots of Winding up path - wherever you step, instead of a footprint, you leave behind oddly personal insults. ((SethTheFrank))

Boots of winding- cursed- your speed is halved. Also, after taking the dash action your speed becomes zero for one round as you double over breathing hard. ((SethTheFrank))

Ring of spell scoring- after you cast a spell, a sign appears over your head rating the spells effectiveness between 1-10. It's never higher than a 4. ((SethTheFrank))

Cloak of portection- all boats of your choice in 100ft gain +1 AC. ((SethTheFrank))

The Chick Magnet - A curious U-shaped metallic wand which, when pointed at a target and activated, conjures enraged chickens out of thin air. The number of chickens created is equal to the user's character level. The chickens fly into the target with unerring precision (per Magic Missile) and peck the target for one point of damage each. The chickens scatter in all directions and disappear shortly after attacking. ((Squarehead9364))

Bag of Dicks- roll a d6 and pull out penis glitter, dildos, etc to throw at enemies ((lemurkn1ts))

Pun Blade- a simple hilt that is ignited by making a pun and deals extra damage when you make a pun ((lemurkn1ts))

Eye-on Stone- a rock that when thrown always hits an eye ((lemurkn1ts))

Ring of Brute Force - allows you to add your Strength modifier to the damage of any spell you cast that deals force damage. ((Martinus_XIV))

Rose-tinted Glasses - allows you to treat any 1 on any dice roll as a 2 ((Martinus_XIV))

Fireproof armour - is unaffected by fire. Does not protect the wearer from fire. ((Martinus_XIV))

Ioun Scone - grants similar benefits to Ioun Stones, but as a single-use consumable. ((Martinus_XIV))

Wand of Desintegration - desintegrates upon use. ((Martinus_XIV))

Goggles of Nightvision: make it appear that the sky is black and filled with stars during the day. ((Nickkemptown))

Goggles of Knightvision: highlights any NPCs with that rank. ((Nickkemptown))

Bag of Hole-ding. If you flick or tap the opening, it makes a noise like a desk bell. ((Nickkemptown))

Scroll of Miner Illusion: Creates an illusion of a man in coal-stained clothing carrying a pickax ((Nickkemptown))

Potion of Heeling: grants the drinker knowledge of cobbling and general boot repair for 6 hours ((Nickkemptown))

The can't trip: while you have this item attuned to you you feel extra light on your feet. It gives +15 to all Dex saves and skill checks. ((TheWildAP))

The can’t rip: While attuned your clothes are impervious to being torn, ripped, or otherwise damaged. ((PhoenixKnight777))

Bag of Trix- Has children's Cereal in it ((Raborne))

Bead of Fours- I looks like a bead of force but activates 4 times over 4 rounds. ((Raborne))

Canaith Mandolin- But not an instrument, the food slicer instead. ((Raborne))

Carpette of Flying- It's a tiny female Carp that floats around behind its owner. ((Raborne))

Cloak of the Man-to-Ray- While wearing it near any source of water, you are constantly followed by manta rays. Some may even want to fight. ((Raborne))

Dodecahedron of Room- With a command word, it casts the spell Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion ((Raborne))

Lady Lavell, human (78) - Lady Lavell is an old lady who enjoys feeding pigeons in the park. She lives in the attic of a governmental archive (which she is in charge of the cleaning of), where she has pigeons that she can send letters with. She knows the keeper of the archives well, another old lady, who likes to talk and gladly shares rumours and gossip with Lavell. [/u/Thunderiuz]

Darren Cornwell, human (29) - Darren is a street vendor selling roasted corn on the cob. He knows all the upcoming events, the faces of trouble makers on the streets, and he knows a lot of owners of businesses outside of which he has been selling his goods. Darren does not require payment, but will not stop trying to sell the party roasted corn until they buy (5cp a piece). [/u/Thunderiuz]

Casque Lipton, hobbit (45) - Casque works at the docs registering goods for the harbourmaster. He knows a lot of ships and their activity, rumours from the docs, has a lot of contacts useful for smuggling and the like, as well as contacts in the lower elite of the city. [/u/Thunderiuz]

Eriel Randelahn, high elf (28) - Eriel works at the city center sauna where the rich come to relax. As he serves the guests, he picks up a good amount of information. Eriel also has contacts among the private servants of rich people. Eriel is quite loyal and helpful, but does not say no to a bottle of fine wine for his efforts. [/u/Thunderiuz]

Bibble Crybaby, goblin (17) rogue - Bibble has a finger on the pulse of the city, as well as in the sewers. He/she is very susceptible to flattery, as well as sweets. [/u/Thunderiuz]

Moodah Bogg, half-orc (32) rogue assassin - Moodah is a freelance brute/assassin hired to do the dirty work of many. He is loyal to the organisation for taking care of his old mother, and will show a more friendly side to its delegates. Better hope nothing befalls his mother, though! [/u/Thunderiuz]

Conan, Human (8) urchin - A young street urchin that is the head of the Street Rats. A gang of children that do small crimes like pick pocketing and stealing inexpensive things like food and cheap goods. They are mostly left alone by the city guard, long as they don't steal in front of them, as the effort to catch them is worth so little compared to what they steal. The gang know all the rumors circulating around the city. Even the whispered ones that no one is willing to speak of they know. For the price of a good meal they will tell you what you need to know or who to keep an eye on to learn more. Need something really risky to find out and you better bring something sweet to give them. [/u/BwabbitV3S]

Martha Baker, Human (40) peasant baker - The Matron of the Baker clan and the brains behind her husband's bakery. She is good friends with many of the Inn owners in the city and can point people to the best lodgings in the city. If you need a place that caters to a more special crowd she knows the hole in the walls that will rent to them. Be honest with her and buy something from her bakery to get tips on where to go. [/u/BwabbitV3S]

Günther the Gray, Mountain Dwarf (200) Blacksmith - An excellent blacksmith he runs the largest forge found outside of a Dwarven city in the country. He is the person to go to to uncover the origins of unusual weapons or metals. Do note that he is quick to temper and holds a huge grudge towards Halflings after one eloped with his fiancé. This is well known and people will tell you to not bring one with you to talk to him. [/u/BwabbitV3S]