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Description
And I don't say that in terms of how it looks.
I say it in terms of how my hands turn pages of books.
So carelessly that they may tear a page.
I say it in terms of how my nerves neglect to show on stage,
Instead waiting until I'm home or alone,
Making me so shaky that I can't pick up the phone,
Just to find some comfort that night.
I hate how in the right light,
I can see the scars of that horrid time,
Where I tried so desperately to pass off as fine,
When really I was drowning in pain,
But without knowing better it was converted to shame.
Shame for even thinking these thoughts could be,
Let alone that they were thought by me,
Thoughts that would scare anyone sane away,
So the thought of sharing such thoughts made me cry all day.
I hate how my legs forget how to carry me and run,
After just two seconds of running and hence ruining the fun.
And perhaps not all of this has to do with my body this time,
Perhaps some of this is the fault of mine.
And by now you must be missing a mood that's jolly,
But in full and blatant honesty,
I hate my body.

Description
And I don't say that in terms of how it looks.
I say it in terms of how my hands turn pages of books.
So carelessly that they may tear a page.
I say it in terms of how my nerves neglect to show on stage,
Instead waiting until I'm home or alone,
Making me so shaky that I can't pick up the phone,
Just to find some comfort that night.
I hate how in the right light,
I can see the scars of that horrid time,
Where I tried so desperately to pass off as fine,
When really I was drowning in pain,
But without knowing better it was converted to shame.
Shame for even thinking these thoughts could be,
Let alone that they were thought by me,
Thoughts that would scare anyone sane away,
So the thought of sharing such thoughts made me cry all day.
I hate how my legs forget how to carry me and run,
After just two seconds of running and hence ruining the fun.
And perhaps not all of this has to do with my body this time,
Perhaps some of this is the fault of mine.
And by now you must be missing a mood that's jolly,
But in full and blatant honesty,
I hate my body.