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celestialsunberry [2010-10-11 04:05:10 +0000 UTC]

Where was this shot at, if you don't mind me asking?

It was a little bit soft and hard to hear. I would suggest a bit more of a voiceover. My headphones are generally extremely loud and I can barely hear it.

I think...well, I honestly expected this to be a bit longer. If you don't mind me saying so, I would add a little more of an experience with more shots of the city. The transition from desert to city, that sort of thing, as well as his REACTION to the shoes; perhaps a closeup, mid-shot, or something.

In the first video, you built on the grandfather relationship with David, but I'd like to see that continued with little excerpts of him thinking things as he's driving.

Does he all ready have a place? I mean, people don't just drive off...what's prepared...why's he just walking down a street? Most people would get settled in their apartment, and then go out to do the sales, whatever.

(Please don't take this harshly....) But I just think that there is so much more you could have done to add to the character and the city, and what's really attracted him there, etc.

And maybe I'm wrong...I mean, he has the bags, but it looks like he's in front of a theater.

I wouldn't have dwelt so much on her walking away because it sort of takes away from the moment of him getting the shoes messed up.

You do have some very nice camera moves, btw.

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