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DaimonMinerva — Disguise
Published: 2004-03-04 22:42:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 33; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 5
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Description
This is my disguiseYou can tell just by staring
My scars and tears which have marked me
I hide in the coven of my room
Beckoning someone to at least care
Yet they just don't
My disguise is my smile
Hiding what lies beneath
My disguise is my laugh
Raising my voice to cover my cries
My disguise is my happiness
Causing false expressions that wash over me
If I took my disguise away
I don't know how people would react
Would they turn up their noses?
Would they banish me to the ends of the Earth?
Will I be beaten to a bloody pulp by my peers?
Can my parents handle this?
The tears are invisible to everyone but myself
I can feel the burning sensation in my eyes and the burning lines on my cheeks
I manipulate myself in thinking I'm happy
My disguise is my smile
Hiding what lies beneath
My disguise is my laugh
Raising my voice to cover my cries
My disguise is my bright attitude
Which blinds people so they can't see what I really am
Emotionally unstable
Depressed
Scared and shy at the same time
Scarred by the past
Manipulated when I was younger
I was like a slave
Now I wear a disguise so I won't be taken advantage of
Having an older sibling is supposed to be a good thing, right?
If you had a sibling like mine
Who hit you
Who manipulated you into doing things which put you at risk of getting hurt
Killed
In trouble with your parents
I'm now scared to meet new people
My sibling told me all the things I didn't want to hear
Half the things happened when I was young
Now I wear my disguise to hide my pain
Yet, when I was young my sibling hurt me so much
That I wouldn't come out of my room sometimes
I've grown some
Yet, my inner child still cries in the night
Wanting to end her life
Beckoning me to end the suffering
My disguise fades every year
I probably only have one or two to go
Until everyone sees who I really am
When the disguise fades
I'm revealed
Tears run down my cheeks and burn my flesh
My disguise is being invisible
Dodging conversations
So they can't see what I feel
So they can't ask me
Are you okay?
Are you angry?
What's wrong?
I just want to keep my disguise
Yet, it's slowly fading
Laughing until the tears begin to roll
Smiling until my smile begins to tremble
Disguise
I'm better off alone.
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Comments: 4
Makes for a good stream of consciousness.
I don't really have any specifics on where to edit - but I encourage experimentation, especially with form (I think a villanelle would work really well with this... But that's just me.)!
Now that I think about it, this would be rockin' if it had form.
(Oooh! Juxtaposition! Try that! 
Er...
Before I get too off the wall, I think you have some pretty serious subject matter - and it would absolutely be more effective if it were either condensed or organized into stanzas. (I noted a group of about 6 lines that appeared twice - good indicator that you might want to put stanzas in.)
Good work. I'd like to see what you think of it when you finally declare this as "FINISHED!".
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I think I won't finish or edit it, cause I kind of had a loss of -depression- mood of writing. So I don't know how/where to start. 
Nichole
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Heh heh. I feel ya.
I'll be happy to look at more stuff if you want me to. ^__^
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You can if you'd really like to, I don't want to force you to look at my work. ^__^ Thank you for commenting on this poem. I appreciate it.
~~ Nichole
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