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Description
Things I Would Do if I Was Beautiful:

1.
Rob a convenience store.
Sneak into your basement and steal
your television.
Steal thirteen more virginities.
Buy a ski mask.

2.
Talk about my breasts as if they were something
to be proud of.
As if they were a pair of baby birds that needed to be held--
That needed someone to stroke their feathers and whisper,
"It's ok now. I'm right here."

3.
Laugh loudly and often as if everyone cares because
they will when I am beautiful.
Everyone wants to hear you laugh
when you're beautiful.
It's infectious and sounds like church bells
like sparrows. like...
anything but owls.

4.
Tell everyone what I really think about them.
That dropping drunk and dead does not
make you beautiful or interesting.
That being stupid does not make you attractive.
That being an asshole just makes you
an asshole.

5.
Sleep with an older man. He must wear
glasses and have grey eyes.
Preferably a professor. A man who can quote
Oscar Wilde and still sound original.

6.
Wear a silk bathrobe that doesn't tie
so that my baby bird breasts can peak their way out
and breathe.
Slip into bed this way.
Kiss my knuckles to make sure they're still there.
Listen for my heart to make sure it's still warm.
Feel shocked when it is.

Description
Things I Would Do if I Was Beautiful:

1.
Rob a convenience store.
Sneak into your basement and steal
your television.
Steal thirteen more virginities.
Buy a ski mask.

2.
Talk about my breasts as if they were something
to be proud of.
As if they were a pair of baby birds that needed to be held--
That needed someone to stroke their feathers and whisper,
"It's ok now. I'm right here."

3.
Laugh loudly and often as if everyone cares because
they will when I am beautiful.
Everyone wants to hear you laugh
when you're beautiful.
It's infectious and sounds like church bells
like sparrows. like...
anything but owls.

4.
Tell everyone what I really think about them.
That dropping drunk and dead does not
make you beautiful or interesting.
That being stupid does not make you attractive.
That being an asshole just makes you
an asshole.

5.
Sleep with an older man. He must wear
glasses and have grey eyes.
Preferably a professor. A man who can quote
Oscar Wilde and still sound original.

6.
Wear a silk bathrobe that doesn't tie
so that my baby bird breasts can peak their way out
and breathe.
Slip into bed this way.
Kiss my knuckles to make sure they're still there.
Listen for my heart to make sure it's still warm.
Feel shocked when it is.