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DanDangerIII — Blood
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Published: 2005-11-04 23:00:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 110; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 5
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Description
Your blood.Is my wine.
This is a passion.
A way to keep my heart from shrinking.
At night I stalk my victims.
Through darkened alleys.
Hidden in the shadows.
I smile when I'm creeping.
But you never know I'm near.
Just a figment of your imagination.
Until...
I STRIKE!
Blows to the head.
With a blunt instrument, intended for death.
A water bottle I carry with me. Is now my blood bottle.
Quench my thirst.
Sometimes, I walk through the town.
Checking doors to see if they are unlocked.
If they are, I am invited inside.
Urinate on the walls. Shit inside drawers.
Waiting for someone to come home.
Today, today is the day.
Calendar says I must go.
I have to go away...
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Comments: 8
Awsome. Very nice. I'm not an expert or anything but I'll give you my opinion. It flows together very well. Except perhaps the "I STRIKE!" It just seems a bit out of place. Maybe you should try re-wording it. But don't just listen to me you should probably get someone more experienced to help you. Theres no real way to write poetry anyway. Continue rocking on!
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yeah... Didnt much like the "I STRIKE" part either... Didnt sit too well with me. But I decided to go with it... If youre into that kind of poetry, keep an eye out for me.. I'm coming back!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
'Kay. I'll be looking forward to it!
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I like it.The urination and shit is a little creepeybut it's still good. But you have anger without motivation. And I'm talking out of my ass.It is cool though you aren't afraid to write what you want to.
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hey, thanks... if youre interested, theres plenty more of that to come... So you can always watch me to stay updated.
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hey,
Thanks for the watch!
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