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Description
Schreeeeeech, onka-lonka onka-lonka Klong, kling-klong, dwill-dwill-dwill, schen-schllllll!

in a mid level neighbourhood on the capital planet a Lorry and a Federation army APC makes a frontal metallic kiss!!!

from the two steaming vehicles two groups of angry individuals emerge, from the Lorry a father and son of the cyclopic race of Monoclops waving their fist around and spitting while screaming nasty stuff in their endemic alien tongue:

- Schlouuzzzzch!!! Schlouzzz, schliuschx!! Schlouuuouop!!!

(rough translation: WC of a Nas-lapper reused for a bed by a Dong-Mack!!! )

From the other Vehicle a bunch of Blue-yellow Federation Novice rookies come their srg. says: you one-eyed monoloks alien scum from an inferior species, why do they hand out drivers licenses to your kin?

By Now Daddy Monoclop has switched to Galactic Standard says:

- Hey Humans scum, why you are just kids, trainees of the federation, ha, ha, ha, this is not a simulation prg. this is the real thing you human-spawns of a hybrid space-sailor, you will have to do three more years of training when I report this to your officer...

- Oh Really, do you know it is law to yield for a federation road-wheeler when they are on an emergency mission?

- Oh really where were you heading? to the gas-station to buy beer and buy the latest issue of the Godfire-Chronicles and the latest porn-mag Miss integalactic tentacle?

- ...no actually, eahm, we were heading for a lady in distress, she got caught in a Over-sized mutant-daffodil, Yeah that is it...

- Well in that case why Are you lot standing here arguing, isn´t this poor lady still harassed by that mutated flower?

- Yeah we might do that, but our ride has lodged itself on top of your ugly lorry! by federational law, it is your task to dislodge us, look at paragraph 123w line 34 of the Traffic-regulation!

- Well Dear Pansies, the thing is that if you don´t help us non of us is going anywhere, our species is known for its weakness, each of us would qualify for 1/5th of a standard human!!! Perhaps your should wake up that bloke who got knocked out by the crash in the blast-tower, that is if you can, perhaps he has perished by internal bleeding, something that often seems to happen to the weak inner physique of humans... but if we all help out and you could wake that fourth fellow up, we could perhaps united lift your patrol-car from our Lorry...and then you guys could be off and buy your beer and Porn-mags at the Tank-station!!!

- Yeah you are right, eh, I mean about a united effort, not that tank-station thing... I Order you to help us get our vehicle down with the of us and that is an order...

Then the leader screams to they guy knocked out in the turret, Hey Private Henry wake up!

...and Henry did actually wake up and in a combined effort all of them got the vehicle down and the Trainee-rookies could roll on further to the Gas-station, when they were gonna pay for their magazines and beer, they notice that they had been pick-pocketed so no naughty miss tentacle and no beer!

When they arrived at bootcamp, their officer complained about the damages on the APC and when inspecting it he discovered that they had emptied the tank and extra tank of almost all fuel!

so the Trainee-team got to clean the dirty collective porcelain for five moths and was forbidden to drive army-vehicles for 3 years...

....So what was the moral in this story??? well as all who has any experience of interaction with Monoclopes know is that they have fibrous tentacles on their back, that can stretch in over three meters, but these rookies hadn´t studies the common-alien course literature well enough to know this trait!

..or as many shady characters say: don´t play poker with a monoclope they might not see their own cards in binocular vision, but their nearly invisible tentacles will mess you card hand up really great!

Description
Schreeeeeech, onka-lonka onka-lonka Klong, kling-klong, dwill-dwill-dwill, schen-schllllll!

in a mid level neighbourhood on the capital planet a Lorry and a Federation army APC makes a frontal metallic kiss!!!

from the two steaming vehicles two groups of angry individuals emerge, from the Lorry a father and son of the cyclopic race of Monoclops waving their fist around and spitting while screaming nasty stuff in their endemic alien tongue:

- Schlouuzzzzch!!! Schlouzzz, schliuschx!! Schlouuuouop!!!

(rough translation: WC of a Nas-lapper reused for a bed by a Dong-Mack!!! )

From the other Vehicle a bunch of Blue-yellow Federation Novice rookies come their srg. says: you one-eyed monoloks alien scum from an inferior species, why do they hand out drivers licenses to your kin?

By Now Daddy Monoclop has switched to Galactic Standard says:

- Hey Humans scum, why you are just kids, trainees of the federation, ha, ha, ha, this is not a simulation prg. this is the real thing you human-spawns of a hybrid space-sailor, you will have to do three more years of training when I report this to your officer...

- Oh Really, do you know it is law to yield for a federation road-wheeler when they are on an emergency mission?

- Oh really where were you heading? to the gas-station to buy beer and buy the latest issue of the Godfire-Chronicles and the latest porn-mag Miss integalactic tentacle?

- ...no actually, eahm, we were heading for a lady in distress, she got caught in a Over-sized mutant-daffodil, Yeah that is it...

- Well in that case why Are you lot standing here arguing, isn´t this poor lady still harassed by that mutated flower?

- Yeah we might do that, but our ride has lodged itself on top of your ugly lorry! by federational law, it is your task to dislodge us, look at paragraph 123w line 34 of the Traffic-regulation!

- Well Dear Pansies, the thing is that if you don´t help us non of us is going anywhere, our species is known for its weakness, each of us would qualify for 1/5th of a standard human!!! Perhaps your should wake up that bloke who got knocked out by the crash in the blast-tower, that is if you can, perhaps he has perished by internal bleeding, something that often seems to happen to the weak inner physique of humans... but if we all help out and you could wake that fourth fellow up, we could perhaps united lift your patrol-car from our Lorry...and then you guys could be off and buy your beer and Porn-mags at the Tank-station!!!

- Yeah you are right, eh, I mean about a united effort, not that tank-station thing... I Order you to help us get our vehicle down with the of us and that is an order...

Then the leader screams to they guy knocked out in the turret, Hey Private Henry wake up!

...and Henry did actually wake up and in a combined effort all of them got the vehicle down and the Trainee-rookies could roll on further to the Gas-station, when they were gonna pay for their magazines and beer, they notice that they had been pick-pocketed so no naughty miss tentacle and no beer!

When they arrived at bootcamp, their officer complained about the damages on the APC and when inspecting it he discovered that they had emptied the tank and extra tank of almost all fuel!

so the Trainee-team got to clean the dirty collective porcelain for five moths and was forbidden to drive army-vehicles for 3 years...

....So what was the moral in this story??? well as all who has any experience of interaction with Monoclopes know is that they have fibrous tentacles on their back, that can stretch in over three meters, but these rookies hadn´t studies the common-alien course literature well enough to know this trait!

..or as many shady characters say: don´t play poker with a monoclope they might not see their own cards in binocular vision, but their nearly invisible tentacles will mess you card hand up really great!