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I want to get out...I need to get out.

The shadows are inside me. They are stealing my mind. I can't recall Lestrade's face...Mrs. Hudson's face...Molly's face...even Mycroft's face is becoming dimmer and harder to see. I keep screaming, I can't stop myself it's too dark...too dark...

At night they won't let me keep a light on. I keep shaking. I'm scared to sleep scared to be near people scared of the night don't want to be alive...

I keep to myself. When the whispers start I bite my fist to keep the screams in. I try to write, but then my hand jerks and the ink splatters across the paper and then the whispers start and the sharp pains in my head and then I stagger and fall against the wall and I have to bite my fist to keep from screaming and sometimes I just grab my head to keep it from splitting open and I can't scream and I just pant...

But they just come again, stronger each time, and black spots swim in front of my eyes and my teeth break the skin on my hand and blood comes out. I have scars on my hand...scars on my hand...

They won't let John see me, they think I'm too dangerous and I'll just get worse if they don't let him come I don't want to stay here forever where the shadows are I want to go home...want to go home...

I wrote to Mycroft begging him to come get me but he didn't come didn't write back I hate him he doesn't care about me I hate him I hate him I hate him...

I want to die get away from the shadows be free I want to see John again I need him need to see him my mind they're stealing my mind my thoughts I can barely think...

I'm screaming now, but I don't know why or how to stop it I'm just holding my head and screaming because the pain it hurts so bad hurts so bad god why won't it stop please why won't it stop...

How do I stop it I want to go home I can't stand it it hurts so bad the shadows are surrounding me hissing at me whispering they want me to give up to stop resisting but they want my mind they can't have my mind but I'm losing it I'm losing my mind the darkness so bad can't breathe the room...so small? Closing in on me...can't feel can't scream my head it hurts so bad...so bad...

John please Johnpleasepleasehelpme I need to get out...I want to get out...

John they're taking it they're taking my mind away from me god it hurts do you not care about me anymore did you forget about me I want to go home please take me home

John? Is that John? Shadows...going away? Slowly...slowly...making my head hurt worse as they go hissing reminder they'll be back...

He's kneeling in front of me he grabbed my wrists my hands are still pressing my head and closing my ears I'm gasping and whimpering all huddled up in the corner, knees to my chest must look like a little frightened child...

John...John...I want to go home...

Please can we go home?