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delusional-dreams — OneThousandWords
Published: 2009-07-09 21:28:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 5649; Favourites: 119; Downloads: 0
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Edit: Thank you so much for your amazing comments! It's so lovely to know that I have inspired and encouraged others and allow those with histories of eating disorders to celebrate their recovery. Your comments are truly touching
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I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I changed my life forever
I know I should know better
Courage - Superchick
A submission for this contest - [link]
Also what inspired the name.
I don't suffer from an eating disorder. I am naturally slim due to my genes and do have a small apetite, but I eat healthily.
I decided to make a more serious conceptual piece on the horrors of anorexia. The long for control; the need for self punishment; the addiction to self-loathing and the strive for beauty. And one of the biggest killers.
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Comments: 68
Being able to use your own experiences to help others is one of the greatest privileges in the world. I'm really glad you're able to use them in a positive way.
Thanks so much for commenting
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wow, no problem. I'm glad you would think that and spend the time to tell me, because i really admire your work. thank you for that.
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you're more than welcome ^-^
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I love that song, grew up with Superchic[k]. ^^ Thank you for sharing this very emotional piece. <3
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Ahaa, beautiful! They're amazing
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I'm sorry to hear that 
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I'm happy it was only a period and that I did learn to be comfortable with myself.
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Absolutely! That's something to be incredibly thankful for
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a thousand words of destruction coming into one's mind...
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You make me want to die. My disorder is the opposite, I'm a fat bastard. But it does keep people away, that's a good thing. See ya at the finish line.
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I'm sorry to hear this..
Why do you say it is a good thing if people stay away? In my opinion anyone who judges you on your appearance is not worth keeping close to you anyway.
It doesn't matter what we look like; what matters is that we can love others and learn to love ourselves. Our appearance isn't what makes us beautiful. I look at your gallery and I see a very talented photographer who has seen many beautiful things. I look at your comment and see a humble man with little self confidence in who he is, which makes me sad. I don't need to know what you look like to know you, and hopefully you don't let it define who you are.
I hope you have people around you who love you for who you are
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"...long for control; the need for self punishment; the addiction to self-loathing and the strive for beauty." = you said it, only I've always suffered from it in the opposite way - I nearly ate myself to death. I'm still struggling, but it's a constant battle for me to not be obese, much less normal-sized again. I still have hope that I will one day, though, the bad times can't last forever.
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I'm really glad you're able to relate to the concept, and I hope you're doing ok
I admire your strive to be healthy, but I hope you can still appreciate your beauty the way you are. And you're right; bad times won't last forever.
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I love the meaning of your picture, and the picture it self ..
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I have to say that this does really portray the horror of Anorexia and EDs. You have really worked on this and every little detail of this montage, has a deeper meaning to be found, a lesson to be learnt and an emotion to feel. The colours, the compositions, your hairstyle and poses are really meaningful and they work great together. I think that the fact, that the second image is also not the right way up, it gives this impression, of life getting hard, untidy and not normal and people loosing control, which is exactly what happens during Anorexia.
An amazing, thoughtful piece of art. Really great concept.
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Thanks! I'm glad it gives you that impression; I wasn't sure if the sideways image would work, so I appreciate the comment ^-^
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Youre very welcome!!! ABsolutely faboulous
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This is an eye-opening piece that speaks volumes to me, as I can both relate to it in a past tense personally and a present tense as far as my mum is concerned. I've even written a piece about it.
The way in which you turned the bottom picture to the right 90 degrees is strangely inhibiting - but in a good way. It makes you want to cock your head to the side, whereby you get a sort of distorted angular view. This is further enhanced by the pose and depth of light, which are both fantastic. The character is leaning over for a closer look at the read-out as if to say "is that really my weight?", whilst intriguingly holding her stomach as if she feels she can push in a little extra weight and fool the scales.
There is just so much going on in this picture that it astounds me, honestly it does. I am humbled to view such a masterpiece of conceptual photography 
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Thank you very much! I'm really glad you like it ^-^ I always want my art to evoke some sort of emotion, so I'm definitely guna try to do more stuff like this
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I think you should! You've definately got the knack for it!
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felt into that illness?i had bulimia for 3 years!
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it is ove for one year now
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I really like the concept here 
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I'm glad to hear it!
Thank you for commenting
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Truly amazing work! The dramatic lighting and grainy feel are perfect, and the way the bottom picture is rotated really emphasizes the surrealistic feel.
Once again, amazing!
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Thank you very much! I appreciate it ^-^
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I like the second shot of the diptych aligned that way, but not necessarily the first
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well thanks
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Yes you are completly beautiful the way you are
stunning in fact
Glad you are having such a good influence on people seeing this!
Beauty isn't about your size or shape people.
You have both of those perfect, in my eyes anyway Sara
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I know; I never expected it!
Thank youuuuu luffly
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My dear...
How inspirational you've become for young women everywhere who sees this picture. I have the same exact problem as you. I'm 16 years old and I'm 5'1 and 90 pounds. Ive never broken 100 in my life. At times I feel absolutlely ashamed of myself because I get picked on because I'm so skinny and small... I eat a lot actually. I just don't ever gain weight. I get jealous that people have such amazing bodies and I'm so skinny with no boobs or ass. I feel incomplete. Many girls my age and even younger have much better of a body than I do. Its so unfair. I like the way you don't really give a damn what people say. I was born like this as well and so was my brother. My family sometimes makes fun of me and I get really low and depressed because I can't gain an ounce. You've given me courage and confidence because you're so pretty the way you are I might just be able to deal with the way my body is. Thank you for being for a cause that does change the world greatly.<3
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Well bless you! ^-^
Yeh I can really relate to what you feel; sometimes I almost don't feel feminine because I don't have any curves. It's so difficult when you see so many people around with figures you'd give anything to have... But the way I've grown to see it we're incredibly lucky to be slim and the abuse we get will often spring from jealousy; we shouldn't complain at being naturally thin when so many people have to fight hard to keep weight off.
Recently as a bit of fun and an experiment I put myself on a weight-gain chocolate milk shake (a calorie shake not a protein one!) which basically put up the number of calories I take in a day, so in effect I was simply eating more without actually having to EAT more, as my appetite is tiny. That with a combination of going to uni and eating lots more in general have helped me gain a stone would you believe!
So now I'm up to 7.5 stone
But in all honesty I think pretty much every girl hates themselves to a certain degree, and it's how close you can come to loving yourself that counts
I'm so glad I could help your confidence! I hope the people around you can lay off a bit so your self esteem can keep increasing until you recognise how beautiful you really are
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You are so right(: I just have to keep my self esteem up as high as it can be.
Really?! What is the name if this chocolate shake or the name of the product if I may ask haha(; Well good for you! I'm glad you're gaining even though you don't NEED to dear(: Whatever makes you happy ^^
I think that's what I need to learn to do. Love myself more than rather criticize myself. I get enough from others already.
Yes you have helped me a rather much! Now I'm able to see that I'm not alone and someone else in the world understands how I feel... Thank you so much! Be well(:<3
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Well I'm no expert so I just went into Holland + Barrett and bought 'Weider Crash Weight Gain shake' for maintaining / gaining body weight ^-^
Just literally packed full of calories
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Haha, well since I don't exactly live in England or anywhere near the UK or Europe I'm not sure where to get that drink! But, thank you for the help(: I'll try to look it up near the local shops around my neighborhood or something. I want to gain a few pounds before starting football again this year!
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Interesting you think you are too skinny! People think skinny people are happy because the media portrays being slim as the ultimate, with being 'rounded' as the unacceptable.
This attitude causes eating disorders!
As someone who is a larger size, we are often made to feel ashamed of our size, and that people like you live the better life, and we are to strive to be like you.
I was tempted at one point, but I (luckily) didn't have the will power to give up food, or waste it down the toilet! Cutting down food portions works better! I would like to be a size 14. No smaller!
A friend of mine is quite small, but she would love some fat to fill out her tops! We all have our insecurities, but we're not allowed to accept that thanks to the media...
Hopefully that can change...
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Thank you for your comment.
Firstly I should probably say that the comments in this thread were made over a year ago (which is quite a scary thought actually), and since then I've matured a lot in terms of how I view myself.
I am now perfectly happy with my weight and appearnce in general; I eat healthily and substantially, and have embraced my lack of bust with the fact that Keira Knightley doesn't have one either, and she seems to do just fine!
I remember being insecure about my lack of curves and any kind of shape to my form (like you say, everyone has their insecurites). Contrary to what the media would have you think, it made me personally feel extremely unfeminine not to be able to buy a strapless dress because it simply would not stay up, and so that encouraged me to attempt to put on a bit of weight (which was frustrating and often left me feeling sick with overeating). All in all, it was not worth trying to change myself by unnatural and drastic measures!
I agree that the media puts enormous pressure on those who are bigger than they might like, although I have noticed that magazines are changing slowly, regularly bigging up celebrities with 'sexy summer curves' etc, which is definitely the right way to go. The catwalk however doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon...
I am so glad that you didn't give in to becoming a slave to starvation! I agree that there are effective and perfectly healthy ways to lose weight if it is affecting ones health - and I also agree that a size 14 is definitely a great size to aim for!
I hope you can continue to feel positive about yourself, and thanks again for commenting.
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You're welcome!
I didn't see the date stamp... Glad you are feeling better! ^_^
I'm nearly size 16!
I did think about being slim, but I saw a tall lady on the train (I am also tall) and she is slim, but because she, like me, has wide shoulders and hips, she looked flat. I decided that would not do me, but 14 would give me some shape.
We will change the world with our dazzling good looks and amazing shapes!!
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Absolutely! ^-^ and our confidence too!
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This is extremely brave of you my dear, as long as you're eating what you like to eat I guess it's fine ^_^
Though still slightly shocked I love the concept
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