jahg [2004-12-11 16:38:12 +0000 UTC]
Hmm, the text itself seems to have been mauled by deviantART - all the quotation marks, at least. Try editing the piece, and replace all the smart quotes (as Microsoft Word calls them) with ordinary ones: "
Otherwise, an interesting read although I'm not so fond of the fifth stanza with each line being a continuation. It reads oddly for that.
Regards,
James
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
denj In reply to jahg [2005-01-09 01:41:57 +0000 UTC]
interesting points, i think I have the simple solution for the 5th stanza problem. As for the quotes, wow, guess I should check my deviations after I submit them.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
falingore [2004-12-07 02:09:22 +0000 UTC]
Fantastic poem. I feel it truly emphasizes the depth of both emotion and self-deception. The word choices are excellent. I'm going to print off a copy in order to further analyze it while I'm not sitting in class but I have a huge appreciation for your vocabulary and writing style. The poem almost seems prophetic both of current soldiers and of our "fearless" leader. Definitely a favorite. Thanks.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1