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lel excuse the crappy art, its 4 in the morning and i only drew a thing to post a rp with it
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Birchclaw, having returned to face the unenthused crowd of his peers, would veer from their judging eyes. Their hostile stares may have been within his head, but their plain ignorance and unconcern was not. The tabby tried not to think about it. No, instead the tom had put his efforts into searching among the new plant life for familiar resources. And as he departed without a note of his whereabouts...he’d return. In his jaws he held a yellow flower...large leaves as well. It was apparent who he had been searching for within the makeshift camp.

Junipersky had been resting in the warriors den. Her fur was still ragged and she was still way thinner than she was on the island. Partly from her stress becoming more apparent than her natural need to eat. The molly lifted her head and licked her paw carefully in order to not hurt herself even more. The tabby looked up when she heard the noise of someone entering camp. Her amber eyes skimmed camp before she noted Birchclaw had returned.

Perhaps catching the molly’s eye or perhaps simply recognizing her scent...Birchclaw found the dark tabby almost instantly. He’d sound no word until he reached the confines of her den. ”June...” whatever he said...it always seemed to start with that name. The warriors muffled speech would sound no more as he gently dropped his supplies-soon dropping himself as he laid before her, his eyes reassured...yet sunken. ”...Your paw-its hurtin right? It got worse?”

The molly watched as the tom entered the den, her injured paw was extended out while her other limbs were tucked underneath her belly. Junipersky replied when she was questioned about her pain, “It’s doing better than before.”

”...Yeah.” The tom paused-he could already determine the answer to that question with a mere glance even as she sounded her reply. ”-It’s fine, just fine! Right...?” he’d unexpectedly perk up only for his spirit to instantly deflate. ”I’ll fix you up June...and I’ll keep doin it again and again. Everytime June...everytime you’re broken...It’ll be me there putting you back together...” he’d speak low, his brows knitted in anxious worry yet his maw revealed a grin. ”’Cause I’m broken too ditzy-and you’re still here, unlike the others... still here fixing me up.” the tabby would come to draw his head forward, its target burrowing within the molly’s chest...similar to that of a kit seeking reassurance from a parent. ”...always. So I’ll always fix you too June...’cause...” his voice would fade, his eyes coming to a close as his ears fell. ”’cause I don’t have anyone else...”

The molly watched the warrior’s reaction, her ears flattened against her skull before the tom burrowed his head within her chest fur. Junipersky listened to what he was saying before she asked, “Are you okay Birchclaw? Don’t lie to me.” Voice was monotone as she looked down at the brown and white tabby.

”...Is anyone?” his comment would be silent before he’d express the usual humorous drawl the tom seemed to carry upon delivering dreaded news. ”...I think I’m losing my father now Ditzy...” the tabby drew away, a strained grin made plain as he gave a tilt of his head. ”...Hes got himself a new girl...ma’s probably laughin from the stars on how quick that was...but thats not the point!” unexpectedly his paw would come to slam down upon the ground. ”...Thats not the point.” the mood swing would pass, a more steady note coming to sound before he frowned. He was quite repetitive. ”...he doesn’t see me. I was gone...I come back and he doesn’t see me June. No one does. But that’s okay!” he’d sprout a slanted smile once more. ”It doesn’t matter that nothin I do makes a fucking difference. See he’s always pretended to be my pa for a bit and just dropped me when it got too hard! When I got too...difficult. No, no! Get this June, he tells me to be the Birch everyone wants to see right? Then I do and guess what everyone sees-not a damn thing!” he’d scoff, eyes tearing away as they fell upon the flower. ”...I think hes...talkin to my sis too. I mighta died with my ma back then I think...but...it doesn’t matter...so...” he strayed off before he’d abruptly turn her way. ”-You’re not like that huh June? You won’t make up stuff to pretend...and then just... just lie. You’re not like that...” he’d stare her down. ”...right?”

The she cat backed up when the tom had his outburst. Her already ragged and unkempt fur was raised as she looked up at the larger cat. Her tail became more bushy before she replied, “No, of course Birch.” Her eyes looked down at the other cat’s paws.

Birchclaw seemed...unconvinced. But as his eyes drew to the molly’s retreat he’d seem somewhat remorseful. Throwing his head upon his paws he’d hold a weak smile. ”Its um...its the yelling thing right?” the apologetic smile would be accompanied by his casual shuffle forward-where he’d place a coy lick upon her paw before easing awkwardly away, ears pinned to his head, body flat to the ground. ”-Thats something I’m working on too ditzy! The overexcitement thing and all...” the tabby swallowed hard. ”...But...I’ll choose to believe you June...if you choose to believe me” the tom murmured, his paws at an odd shuffle. ”...Not a lot of them do...so I was thinkin that if maybe just one cat did...just once that it...that it might make me feel a bit better these days.” he looked up at her. ”June...I’m always happy with you of course. Always...but, when no one trust you ever its...hard to ignore it all the time and it kinda actually...it hurts?” his nose found refuge between his paws-perhaps feeling as if he had destroyed his chances to use Junipersky as a source of comfort.

The she cat stared at the tom before she replied, “Okay then, trust me and I trust you. But at this moment and time you still need more work.” Her expression changed from fearful to more blank as she stared at him with a emotionless stare.

Birchclaw raised his head-Junipersky was always straight to the point...so filling in that silence between them had become all too instinctual for Birchclaw...and that was fine because they completed each other in that way! The tabby would eagerly nod. ”I know-and thats why you’re helping me...isn’t it? ‘Cause you want me to get better!” The warrior would be steadily dragging himself forward. ”...June I realized you don’t like to say it that much-that you love me...even though I say it to you. I get it ‘cause you’re shy...and stuff. But I know now that you never really had to say it to mean it-‘cause you show it all the time June!” the tabby seemed exceptionally thrilled, his smile much more genuine now. ”-You want to help me because you really do love me Ditzy! The others who said they would...I get that they never really loved me enough to stay with me along the way. But you are, so...right now I’m...I’m really happy June. I’m happy because I love you...and that you love me. So I’ll change some more...and this time, it’ll be just for you June! Only you.” the tabby would hold her eye for what seemed like moons. Pure infatuation visibly reflecting in his orbs. He’d only break his loving gaze when he tended to the tabby’s wound. He’d chew up the flower and apply the medicine much more quicker this time-faster yet more accurate! It wouldn’t take the tom long to wrap her paw up in a temporary cast of sorts-the leaves wrapped around her leg much more firmly than before. Birchclaw had smiled triumphantly, if not smugly, as he finished. The warriors paws kneaded the bedding below, an action he was not aware of himself.

The she cat watched the tom's mannerisms, she lowered her ears as he mentioned that he was doing it for her. Junipersky watched as he tended her wounds, when he finished his treatment she looked at the molly and replied, "I'm sorry but you have to do this for yourself, to make you truly happy with yourself. My opinion shouldn't be greater than yours in your head Birchclaw." Her amber eyes were now completely focused on his. Her tail twitched as she added, "If you do this for me you won't be helping yourself, you need to change for yourself... And no one else..."

Birchclaw's former excitement seemed to vanish, the tabby void of any motion whatsoever now. The warrior's ears seemed to fall as he brought his chin to rest upon the ground. "...Can't do that-" he spoke curtly, eyes failing to hold a proper target as they strayed all over the place. "I'm fucked June-I'm fucked and thats how everyone sees me. My opinions too-" he'd snort, "In the past no one liked those either-so I dunno if I should trust them anymore or what. But I can forget about what those assholes think...I can do that if I'm thinkin about something else...I don't like when they stare at me..." Though the molly had brought herself to meet his wavering stare, it would fail to hold strong now, looking at anything but her. "...I don't know what will make me happy. I don't know if anyone can but you. 'Cause every time I try to reach out to someone else...they die or...they die or they just give up on me June. Sometimes I don't know why they do it. Like when I mess up a little...I don't know why they leave me alone when I trusted them. June...I can't be alone anymore I think..." he shrugged, his smile far from stable. "...See, I tried doin stuff for me Dizty...tried and failed. But I think I found the issue. I was changin for the wrong cats. Like my Pa, he doesn't give a shit about me now...or he doesn't see me...or both. But I was thinkin...your different June...I think your different...I think you love me...." he seemed doubtful now, a paw idly falling over his eyes. "...I think. 'Cause why else would you still be here?" the warrior seemed vaguely confused, his fangs clenched.

Junipersky decided not to answer, she simply shuffled to stand up and began to walk away from birch, though she turned and looked at Birchclaw. She kept her eyes on him as she stated, "Then whats the point of living if you don't fix yourself for you. I will die Birchclaw... Maybe before you.. What will you do then? I won't be there and you will supposedly have nothing to fix yourself with. You. Are. Young. You have a chance to fix you for you... Reconnect with your living family, they will help you... I talked to my mother and brother and we reconnected old bonds. If you so say break your bonds because of why? I think it's because you are scared to change, you take a little inch to the better... But you do things that throw you back miles." Her tail flicked as she sighed and added. "I want you to be happy, and a good cat... But this won't work Birch.. Everything ends eventually, I will end... And everyone with meaning to you will end, and you can't change that... You have been very unlucky I believe... But I have been too I mean look, I lost my only other good friend... He is gone, I lose everyone I try to connect with other than you Birch... I stay because I bare sympathy for you, you have been dealt something others haven't. It's anger, and mistreatment and everything has been brought on to you because you act no more than a fox could, with no regard of what will happen next, you have possibly broken chances of friendship because you attack and ask questions later..." The she cat focused onto the tom before she mumbled something to herself and stated clearly. "And don't doubt youself, I do love you... But you should place more care in fixing the things you have destroyed before the bonds you still have.. You loved your father right? Show that you still love him, he probably thinks that you only see me as the only real bond you have when he has been there since you were born.. I haven't..." After she finished her speech she slipped out of the den.

As Junipersky seemed to leave, Birchclaw would immediately get up to protest-only the molly would speak before he could even utter out a word. He remained silent, even as the she-cat asked him how he would cope with her death...even as she shared his past of death. But they were alike in that way...'with cats dying around them they were connected. The tabby was quite confused when she mentioned this won't work...but he knew she couldn't be talking about their relationship...he was sure of it. "Wait, June-" his calls would be ignored, the molly already gone. When silence failed to be interrupted by the she-cat's return, Birchclaw would fall in a crouch. "...Please stay with me..." he'd murmur...knowing his calls wouldn't be answered. The tom would lay there that night. Alone.

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Description

lel excuse the crappy art, its 4 in the morning and i only drew a thing to post a rp with it
---

Birchclaw, having returned to face the unenthused crowd of his peers, would veer from their judging eyes. Their hostile stares may have been within his head, but their plain ignorance and unconcern was not. The tabby tried not to think about it. No, instead the tom had put his efforts into searching among the new plant life for familiar resources. And as he departed without a note of his whereabouts...he’d return. In his jaws he held a yellow flower...large leaves as well. It was apparent who he had been searching for within the makeshift camp.

Junipersky had been resting in the warriors den. Her fur was still ragged and she was still way thinner than she was on the island. Partly from her stress becoming more apparent than her natural need to eat. The molly lifted her head and licked her paw carefully in order to not hurt herself even more. The tabby looked up when she heard the noise of someone entering camp. Her amber eyes skimmed camp before she noted Birchclaw had returned.

Perhaps catching the molly’s eye or perhaps simply recognizing her scent...Birchclaw found the dark tabby almost instantly. He’d sound no word until he reached the confines of her den. ”June...” whatever he said...it always seemed to start with that name. The warriors muffled speech would sound no more as he gently dropped his supplies-soon dropping himself as he laid before her, his eyes reassured...yet sunken. ”...Your paw-its hurtin right? It got worse?”

The molly watched as the tom entered the den, her injured paw was extended out while her other limbs were tucked underneath her belly. Junipersky replied when she was questioned about her pain, “It’s doing better than before.”

”...Yeah.” The tom paused-he could already determine the answer to that question with a mere glance even as she sounded her reply. ”-It’s fine, just fine! Right...?” he’d unexpectedly perk up only for his spirit to instantly deflate. ”I’ll fix you up June...and I’ll keep doin it again and again. Everytime June...everytime you’re broken...It’ll be me there putting you back together...” he’d speak low, his brows knitted in anxious worry yet his maw revealed a grin. ”’Cause I’m broken too ditzy-and you’re still here, unlike the others... still here fixing me up.” the tabby would come to draw his head forward, its target burrowing within the molly’s chest...similar to that of a kit seeking reassurance from a parent. ”...always. So I’ll always fix you too June...’cause...” his voice would fade, his eyes coming to a close as his ears fell. ”’cause I don’t have anyone else...”

The molly watched the warrior’s reaction, her ears flattened against her skull before the tom burrowed his head within her chest fur. Junipersky listened to what he was saying before she asked, “Are you okay Birchclaw? Don’t lie to me.” Voice was monotone as she looked down at the brown and white tabby.

”...Is anyone?” his comment would be silent before he’d express the usual humorous drawl the tom seemed to carry upon delivering dreaded news. ”...I think I’m losing my father now Ditzy...” the tabby drew away, a strained grin made plain as he gave a tilt of his head. ”...Hes got himself a new girl...ma’s probably laughin from the stars on how quick that was...but thats not the point!” unexpectedly his paw would come to slam down upon the ground. ”...Thats not the point.” the mood swing would pass, a more steady note coming to sound before he frowned. He was quite repetitive. ”...he doesn’t see me. I was gone...I come back and he doesn’t see me June. No one does. But that’s okay!” he’d sprout a slanted smile once more. ”It doesn’t matter that nothin I do makes a fucking difference. See he’s always pretended to be my pa for a bit and just dropped me when it got too hard! When I got too...difficult. No, no! Get this June, he tells me to be the Birch everyone wants to see right? Then I do and guess what everyone sees-not a damn thing!” he’d scoff, eyes tearing away as they fell upon the flower. ”...I think hes...talkin to my sis too. I mighta died with my ma back then I think...but...it doesn’t matter...so...” he strayed off before he’d abruptly turn her way. ”-You’re not like that huh June? You won’t make up stuff to pretend...and then just... just lie. You’re not like that...” he’d stare her down. ”...right?”

The she cat backed up when the tom had his outburst. Her already ragged and unkempt fur was raised as she looked up at the larger cat. Her tail became more bushy before she replied, “No, of course Birch.” Her eyes looked down at the other cat’s paws.

Birchclaw seemed...unconvinced. But as his eyes drew to the molly’s retreat he’d seem somewhat remorseful. Throwing his head upon his paws he’d hold a weak smile. ”Its um...its the yelling thing right?” the apologetic smile would be accompanied by his casual shuffle forward-where he’d place a coy lick upon her paw before easing awkwardly away, ears pinned to his head, body flat to the ground. ”-Thats something I’m working on too ditzy! The overexcitement thing and all...” the tabby swallowed hard. ”...But...I’ll choose to believe you June...if you choose to believe me” the tom murmured, his paws at an odd shuffle. ”...Not a lot of them do...so I was thinkin that if maybe just one cat did...just once that it...that it might make me feel a bit better these days.” he looked up at her. ”June...I’m always happy with you of course. Always...but, when no one trust you ever its...hard to ignore it all the time and it kinda actually...it hurts?” his nose found refuge between his paws-perhaps feeling as if he had destroyed his chances to use Junipersky as a source of comfort.

The she cat stared at the tom before she replied, “Okay then, trust me and I trust you. But at this moment and time you still need more work.” Her expression changed from fearful to more blank as she stared at him with a emotionless stare.

Birchclaw raised his head-Junipersky was always straight to the point...so filling in that silence between them had become all too instinctual for Birchclaw...and that was fine because they completed each other in that way! The tabby would eagerly nod. ”I know-and thats why you’re helping me...isn’t it? ‘Cause you want me to get better!” The warrior would be steadily dragging himself forward. ”...June I realized you don’t like to say it that much-that you love me...even though I say it to you. I get it ‘cause you’re shy...and stuff. But I know now that you never really had to say it to mean it-‘cause you show it all the time June!” the tabby seemed exceptionally thrilled, his smile much more genuine now. ”-You want to help me because you really do love me Ditzy! The others who said they would...I get that they never really loved me enough to stay with me along the way. But you are, so...right now I’m...I’m really happy June. I’m happy because I love you...and that you love me. So I’ll change some more...and this time, it’ll be just for you June! Only you.” the tabby would hold her eye for what seemed like moons. Pure infatuation visibly reflecting in his orbs. He’d only break his loving gaze when he tended to the tabby’s wound. He’d chew up the flower and apply the medicine much more quicker this time-faster yet more accurate! It wouldn’t take the tom long to wrap her paw up in a temporary cast of sorts-the leaves wrapped around her leg much more firmly than before. Birchclaw had smiled triumphantly, if not smugly, as he finished. The warriors paws kneaded the bedding below, an action he was not aware of himself.

The she cat watched the tom's mannerisms, she lowered her ears as he mentioned that he was doing it for her. Junipersky watched as he tended her wounds, when he finished his treatment she looked at the molly and replied, "I'm sorry but you have to do this for yourself, to make you truly happy with yourself. My opinion shouldn't be greater than yours in your head Birchclaw." Her amber eyes were now completely focused on his. Her tail twitched as she added, "If you do this for me you won't be helping yourself, you need to change for yourself... And no one else..."

Birchclaw's former excitement seemed to vanish, the tabby void of any motion whatsoever now. The warrior's ears seemed to fall as he brought his chin to rest upon the ground. "...Can't do that-" he spoke curtly, eyes failing to hold a proper target as they strayed all over the place. "I'm fucked June-I'm fucked and thats how everyone sees me. My opinions too-" he'd snort, "In the past no one liked those either-so I dunno if I should trust them anymore or what. But I can forget about what those assholes think...I can do that if I'm thinkin about something else...I don't like when they stare at me..." Though the molly had brought herself to meet his wavering stare, it would fail to hold strong now, looking at anything but her. "...I don't know what will make me happy. I don't know if anyone can but you. 'Cause every time I try to reach out to someone else...they die or...they die or they just give up on me June. Sometimes I don't know why they do it. Like when I mess up a little...I don't know why they leave me alone when I trusted them. June...I can't be alone anymore I think..." he shrugged, his smile far from stable. "...See, I tried doin stuff for me Dizty...tried and failed. But I think I found the issue. I was changin for the wrong cats. Like my Pa, he doesn't give a shit about me now...or he doesn't see me...or both. But I was thinkin...your different June...I think your different...I think you love me...." he seemed doubtful now, a paw idly falling over his eyes. "...I think. 'Cause why else would you still be here?" the warrior seemed vaguely confused, his fangs clenched.

Junipersky decided not to answer, she simply shuffled to stand up and began to walk away from birch, though she turned and looked at Birchclaw. She kept her eyes on him as she stated, "Then whats the point of living if you don't fix yourself for you. I will die Birchclaw... Maybe before you.. What will you do then? I won't be there and you will supposedly have nothing to fix yourself with. You. Are. Young. You have a chance to fix you for you... Reconnect with your living family, they will help you... I talked to my mother and brother and we reconnected old bonds. If you so say break your bonds because of why? I think it's because you are scared to change, you take a little inch to the better... But you do things that throw you back miles." Her tail flicked as she sighed and added. "I want you to be happy, and a good cat... But this won't work Birch.. Everything ends eventually, I will end... And everyone with meaning to you will end, and you can't change that... You have been very unlucky I believe... But I have been too I mean look, I lost my only other good friend... He is gone, I lose everyone I try to connect with other than you Birch... I stay because I bare sympathy for you, you have been dealt something others haven't. It's anger, and mistreatment and everything has been brought on to you because you act no more than a fox could, with no regard of what will happen next, you have possibly broken chances of friendship because you attack and ask questions later..." The she cat focused onto the tom before she mumbled something to herself and stated clearly. "And don't doubt youself, I do love you... But you should place more care in fixing the things you have destroyed before the bonds you still have.. You loved your father right? Show that you still love him, he probably thinks that you only see me as the only real bond you have when he has been there since you were born.. I haven't..." After she finished her speech she slipped out of the den.

As Junipersky seemed to leave, Birchclaw would immediately get up to protest-only the molly would speak before he could even utter out a word. He remained silent, even as the she-cat asked him how he would cope with her death...even as she shared his past of death. But they were alike in that way...'with cats dying around them they were connected. The tabby was quite confused when she mentioned this won't work...but he knew she couldn't be talking about their relationship...he was sure of it. "Wait, June-" his calls would be ignored, the molly already gone. When silence failed to be interrupted by the she-cat's return, Birchclaw would fall in a crouch. "...Please stay with me..." he'd murmur...knowing his calls wouldn't be answered. The tom would lay there that night. Alone.

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