HOME | DD
DeviantArtSecret β Secret 11100
Published: 2011-10-10 02:02:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 3963; Favourites: 47; Downloads: 8
Redirect to original
Description
The Secret Teller would like to thank ~PersephoneStock for the stock image.Send your secret to DeviantArtSecret@gmail.com
You are invited to anonymously contribute your secrets to DeviantArtSecret.
"Each secret can be a regret, hope, funny experience, unseen kindness, fantasy, belief, fear, betrayal, erotic desire, feeling, confession, or childhood humiliation. Reveal anything - as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before."
For a list of stock accounts please read our shout-board.
For more information please read UPDATES, the journal you donβt want to miss.
Send your secret to DeviantArtSecret@gmail.com
Related content
Comments: 26
If they ditched you, they are not good enough for you.
π: 0 β©: 0
You aren't a freak hun, I'm the same way. 18 and I have never been asked out on a date, not even to a dance. I always did the asking and it never worked out. I've stopped all together and sometimes I feel like I'll never meet someone special... You're not a freak at all
π: 0 β©: 0
Oh, I know this. It's so familiar.
I'm sorry, if it means anything.
π: 0 β©: 0
20 years and suddenly it happens; I know the shock it gives and how you tend to scramble around, not sure how to react. It sucks, truly.
π: 0 β©: 0
Whoa, weird. This is the first time it's felt like a secret could be directed at me. I'm sure that it's not, but I think you might benefit from hearing the other side, ST.
Unless you've been flat-out told that you aren't wanted anymore, it might be worth saying something. In my case, when I told her I cared about her, she cut all contact with me--stopped going to the same places, unfriended me on Facebook, the works. And although it's been over a year, when I do see her now, I do my best to stay out of the way. It's not that I've stopped caring for her--far from it, in fact--, but her reaction hurt enough that I lost hope. I know that if she were to express feelings for me tomorrow (or even five years from now), I'd be all for it. But unless she says something, I'm just going to leave her alone and attempt to move on.
My point is, I'm sure you weren't the only one hurt by this situation. And unless you've already been told "no thanks," I think there's a good chance s/he still has feelings for you.
π: 0 β©: 0
ST, i know this will sound cliche, but whoever you are, you are only who you were brought into this world to be, you are still in the process of becoming the person you are meant to become, and these trials that you are going through now are there to show you new sides to yourself, not to hate, but to love and accept and learn about who you are and the role that you are to play in this world.
You might feel alone and out of place, but you can overcome this, use it to your benefit instead of turning it against yourself. I don't know what happened, obviously, but i truly do believe that nothing happens without there being a reason, pain is the greatest teacher, for when we are hurt so deep inside - it's like a path opens up to our core. and it is there we see who we truly are if we can look without turning away, without expecting to see something ugly or horrible because you are beautiful, inside and out, you're an amazing spiritual being, and you just have to realise that, embrace it, and know that anyone would be lucky to have you by their side.
please have faith in yourself, and know that the person you will become is so much stronger and braver than the person you were, and the person you are right now is exactly who you are meant to be, nothing more, nothing less.
i don't see that being a freak is a bad thing, hell i love being a freak 
π: 0 β©: 0
You re not a freak, st.
I myself have issues with "I was doing fine all used to being alone, then you came along and now you re going"
And so are many, many other girls/women and even boys/men... and if so, that would make us all freaks. And since we re in that all together... then..we belong to a group.
Please, please do not hate yourself, find a person to talk to, share your emotions, maybe try crying on many people's shoulders?
I do that. I don t want to overwhelm my friends with all my emotional stuff so.. i cry a little to every one of them...
I know relationships are tough, but the very fact that you are standing right now is proof of how powerful you are, of how well you can handle things. 
There will come a time, you.ll see, with no more tears and fears.
π: 0 β©: 0
ST, don't feel bad. I will talk from my own experience.
I was 20 when something like that happened, but I felt disgusting and I have given up on ever having anyone. So when something happened (it's been over a year and even now I don't know what), somebody took pity on me and gave me a chance to get over everything I felt. He dated me for a month, then broke up with me, and everything before and after broke me down to the point where I didn't know why to get up in the morning. I hated myself and I blamed myself for everything.
But now, I'm on antidepressants, and I realize that it wasn't my fault. I had panic attacks around people, I scratched myself to blood when I felt so disgusting. One month wasn't nearly enough time to get emotionally from the level of being laughed at for everything to the level of self-respect where you feel like you deserve a relationship.
Don't hate yourself for that person. Put that hatred into anger if you need to, sometimes anger can be the line that decides from hiding in the corner and facing your fears. Walk up to that person, say you need to have a word with them in private, and if they don't accept, go at them in public. You have every right to tell them how you feel, to make them understand why you are so crushed. Tell them what you wrote here, tell them why you freaked out. People need time 99% of the time, if not for overcomming what you had to, then for thinking about it to be sure.
And let me tell you a secret. Yes you will be alone, yes it will be hard ... but when you are completely comfortable again, when you will be like 'I don't need anybody else in my life', then life - a bitch as it is - will send you someone to mess up with your comfort, and you will have another chance. If it doesn't turn okay with this one, you make that next one sure where you're at.
Note me if you need me, I would love to help with anything I can ^^
π: 0 β©: 1
This was very inspiring and very easy and interesting to read/follow.
I don t know if i should be sorry for what you went through, since all of it turned you into this confident person.
Anywho, your words gave me the confidence to smile and be patient and accept what i cannot even pronounce.
I just hope it lasts.
π: 0 β©: 1
I'm glad. ^^
Well, I sometimes don't know how to feel about it either. But when you grow and look back, you can wonder, would you still grow so much if it didn't happen to you? Would you still be in the same place? The only thing I really regret was me being weak from the start to finish, but I couldn't change that no matter how I slice it.
π: 0 β©: 0
I guess I've been in a similar situation, so I kind of understand the self-hatred part, though I was a couple years younger than 18... note me if you want someone to relate to??
π: 0 β©: 0
anyone notice the little puzzle pieces in the bottom left corner?? i only know of one thing to do with puzzles as a symbol so i take it as an indication that ST might be Aspergers or Austic which can only make things even more difficult
π: 0 β©: 0
Never blame yourself for the decisions of others. Just because they left doesn't mean you're a freak, broken, messed up, or ugly. That rejection doesn't denounce your value as a person or take away your right to be loved. Don't place your value in what others see of you, place it in who you really are, good and bad. When you know who you are and what you're truly worth, people will see that instead and you'll be pleasantly surprised.
π: 0 β©: 0
I was reading this, and when I got to the end, I thought I saw a bit of a blur, so I focused my eyes in on the background and was like:
That's the last time I watch spooky youtube videos a 12 am...
π: 0 β©: 1
what did you see?? lol
actually if you look closely at the bottom left corner there is are four puzzle pieces
π: 0 β©: 1
...The face... 
π: 0 β©: 1
the . . . face?? you mean the background??
yup, i hvae very observent eyes
π: 0 β©: 1
xD Yes. My monitor is kind of dark, so I didn't notice it at first...
π: 0 β©: 1
damn you monitor *shakes fist at sky*
π: 0 β©: 0
you are not a freak ... you will meet someone who likes you as you are
π: 0 β©: 1
People keep saying that, don't they. But it gets harder and harder to believe as the years pass by.
π: 0 β©: 3
just because something gets harder to believe doesn't mean it won't happen. Now I should say you do have to work at it you won't meet anyone without a little bit of effort ... but the point is to just never give up the world is filled with so many people ... that's a lot of people to meet.
π: 0 β©: 0
How I am reading this though is that they are only 18 years old. Its not that uncommon for an 18 year old to not have been in a serious relationship. Since once people get out of high school they seem to really find who they are and meet who they are going to be with.
I don't think high school awkwardness is a good judge if you will be alone forever or not.
π: 0 β©: 1
and what if ST has finished high school, and are all ready in Uni.
and by the sounds of things, ST has never been in any relationship, let alone a serious one, so her freaking out after the first date would be understandable
π: 0 β©: 0
Regardless of whether it happens or not, no one should blame themselves for not attracting people like a magnet and getting to keep them. Unless you're genuinely unlikable (and I mean in the sense of being abusive in any form or cruel) there's nothing to fix within yourself save any confidence you may or may not have. Even then that's up for debate since some folks meet others when they're at a low and that person helps them gain said confidence.
π: 0 β©: 0