Comments: 33
Psychokugel In reply to Psychokugel [2009-05-26 16:08:55 +0000 UTC]
every day you keep on lying makes it worse... for EVERY involved person
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sarahs0001 [2009-05-26 02:18:02 +0000 UTC]
I think the sooner you tell them the less they'll hurt in the end
they'll find out eventually
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AmethystUnderwood [2009-05-19 15:57:41 +0000 UTC]
You are playing with fire... someone is going to get hurt... badly. Is that what you want?
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TheDarkRoom-Photo [2009-05-17 08:42:02 +0000 UTC]
be careful. my best friend did this same thing (she kind of used it to come out with), and someone did fall in love with her, under false pretenses and once she finally came clean about it, she almost lost all of her friends because they were so disgusted with it (that she would hurt someoene like that...not because she was gay)
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SunGryphon [2009-05-16 07:16:19 +0000 UTC]
A friend of mine had a female persona online for about 10 years. "She" was his girlfriend. He finally confessed that he and she were the same person. Although our relationship changed after that, I'm grateful he came forward instead of continuing to live the lie.
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GreenFaerie13 [2009-05-16 04:16:49 +0000 UTC]
you see, this is why I never lie about things.
xD
maybe you should work on making your own life more interesting, so you're more comfortable just being yourself.
and tell the person already. it's better to do it now than wait.
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RoshiKK [2009-05-16 01:52:40 +0000 UTC]
I think what you need to do is first find out if the person does in fact love you.
As for the character you created there would have to be some things you have taken from your own life and used you said you used your gay best friend and your nephew maybe say goodbye to that character (i'm not saying it's something you may want or have to do) but it could help in taking you away from the character which you have no real association with. If that makes sense?
I just think you need to be yourself because only then can you feel like you are living your life. The character might empower the aspects of life you want to see not whats really going on and being yourself allows people you talk to, to offer advise which would help more to you not the character you have created which is different.
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KoshiFuruYoru [2009-05-15 23:15:29 +0000 UTC]
Please, PLEASE! don't. Tell them. Right away. Don't make excuses. Tell them.
I did exactly what you're doing except it was my friend and not some random person. I made out his whole life and he became me. When my friend found out that it was all a lie, she was depressed and I felt terrible.
She still doesn't know it was me.
- ST 3761, 4172, & 4686
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never-been-kissed [2009-05-15 23:07:58 +0000 UTC]
i think if they love you enough, and if you love them in return...
then it shouldn't matter, but honesty and trust might be lost from the relationship if you don't do something soon
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Mareyn [2009-05-15 22:27:24 +0000 UTC]
you should tell them,
seriously.
before it gets even more out of hand than it already is.
this has happened to me several times with people online,
though i didn't fall in love with them,
i did think of them as friends.
but when i found out they weren't who they said they were,
i was shocked.
and i didn't know if anything they had ever said to me was ever true.
i gave up on them
and i gave up on believing them.
suffice to say,
i don't talk to any of these people anymore.
i didn't know if they'd ever actually say who they really were,
or if they would just keep lying to me and make up another person that didn't exist.
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Mareyn In reply to Mareyn [2009-05-15 22:36:36 +0000 UTC]
i hope i didn't seem too harsh. :S...
all i'm saying is you really should tell them.
don't leave them in the dark about this,
and if you're having second thoughts,
obviously it's bothering you as well.
however,
the people i'm talking about i found out on my own they weren't who they said they were,
not by them telling me.
i think things would be a lot different if they had just confronted me with it themselves rather than me finding out about their lies.
because at least that way i know they felt bad about what they did,
but since they never did tell me,
i didn't think they'd ever stop pretending to be something they weren't.
which is why i broke all ties off completely.
i'm sorry to say it,
but i'm not so forgiving when i find out i've been lied to countless times.
but who knows?
maybe this person who is falling for you is.
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hentaibunnyinc [2009-05-15 22:20:57 +0000 UTC]
My guy did that. Only he pretended to be a lesbian (as he hates guys, just wanted the advantages of being a girl-gamer), and yeah, he had a few girls fall hard for him. When he came clean, it was a mess =/ Be honest with them.
What would be ironic is that maybe the person falling for you is of opposite gender as well =3
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Mistress-Phoenix [2009-05-15 21:17:47 +0000 UTC]
In this case, I'd like to ask about how long this person has known 'you.' If the relationship has been going on since the creation of this fake persona..to be honest I think it would be kinder if you just made something up and terminated the relationship. Four years of lies is a lot for one person to handle, and I honestly think that could be traumatic for a person who is emotionally involved.
If you just met this person, or the relationship (the friendship) has just started (I'd say anything under 6 months) then I would tell that person immediately. Just be upfront and give them some space if they ask for it. It's better to be honest and regret it, then to live under a pillar of lies. I know the persona is comfortable, like a glove, but other people need to be comfortable too. Good luck, ST!
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DesdemonaKakalose [2009-05-15 20:43:54 +0000 UTC]
it is ALWAYS better to be honest up front, even if it hurts. Even if it seems cruel.
Always. You're saving everyone pain by just getting it over with, especially you.
Best of luck.
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Shes-So-1970s [2009-05-15 18:09:46 +0000 UTC]
As someone in similar shoes to the person falling in love, I'd say tell them, however hard it's bound to be, it'll be better than them finding out much later on their own
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Upsilon400 [2009-05-15 18:09:38 +0000 UTC]
Sounds like a delicious mix of karma and irony to me.
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DragoNiAicona [2009-05-15 18:07:54 +0000 UTC]
It might not only hurt people who fall in love with you but anyone who would call the second "you" a friend or nice person. I'd rather spend time with invisible friends or my wall than with someone who doesn't exist and I don't even know about that =/
But well. I'm weird.
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DusktheDemon [2009-05-15 17:12:14 +0000 UTC]
Honesty is the best policy- I know what you mean, to create a persona to protect your feelings and all, but someone else might get hurt by it. Tell them the truth, and that you didn't mean for it to happen like that.
I made a persona once... his name is Shigure and he 'lives' in Little Tokyo. He 'works' in one of the anime shops that I have pictures of.... Any time someone has 'tried' to get too close to him, 'he'll say' "I don't like how close you are trying to get to me. it's creepy"
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bezenartw [2009-05-15 17:08:14 +0000 UTC]
You really need to tell this person or they will hate you forever for lying.
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SasukeDoppelganger [2009-05-15 16:20:08 +0000 UTC]
I'm kinda torn on this...
A friend of mine has done the same thing. They are a guy, but have created a female persona online to use on WOW, and a guy started falling in love with that "girl." "She" had to break it off with him, but I don't think they ever actually told him the truth of who they were.
I, on the other hand, am a girl, but I do have a male persona within [Bigender]. I would switch between the two freely in conversations with people that understood about the two personas. A girl and my male persona fell in love, and since I was single at the time, I allowed it. But when I found my boyfriend, they decided it would be best for them to break up.
I guess the question kinda is: Is it just a faux persona, or is he a real persona that you carry with you? Figuring that out I would think would help with the decision of what to do next. There are a few people that will understand the persona thing, and I hope you get lucky.
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theuntitledpoet [2009-05-15 14:50:38 +0000 UTC]
And I've just found the first solid evidence to show that post-modernisation is evil. (Not you, the fact that people will fall in love with people who they only know through HTML). It scares me.
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KnockMeOut [2009-05-15 14:43:19 +0000 UTC]
...i did that too. i still have a gay guy identity and someone started liking me and i told him, luckily, early enough. he said he was disappointed but not really mad at me. just do it before they get hurt!
(i love 'living' his life, though. everything fits and is perfectly constructed and it's simply so much fun.. D: i can understand you completely, st.)
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Apocalypse247 [2009-05-15 13:37:12 +0000 UTC]
I fell in love with someone on the internet. Yesterday I heard from one of 'her' friends that it's actually a guy, and the girl doesn't exist. I haven't asked her yet but it makes sense considering the stuff that happened.
My advice is tell them, before they get hurt.
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LotK In reply to Apocalypse247 [2009-05-15 15:52:21 +0000 UTC]
yes that hurts just like hell
and for the st: just tell him... yone of you might cry and be sad for some days, but its better than living with an illusion for a longer time
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regndyr [2009-05-15 13:33:53 +0000 UTC]
I guess more people than you had felt same way.
I tried this before too.
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