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Life with Amaryllis is never boring. Take last Halloween, for example...

"I still don't get it." The fairy frowned with unhappiness. "So you don't have transformation magic... but you just pretend to be something else. But only for one day." Her accent was intriguingly exotic. A casual observer might confuse it for something European, but for anyone who knew it could tell instantly that it was the accent of a resident of Fairyland. The fact that Amaryllis had wings, a magic wand, and an unearthly beauty that surpassed that of any human supermodel helped, of course.

I took a deep breath. Having Amaryllis as a girlfriend was the most amazing and wonderful thing that had ever happened to me, but it could be a little trying. Having to explain everything wasn't the problem; combined with the accent it was like having the world's most amazing foreign exchange student.

No, the problem was what happened when she half-understood a concept and waved her magic wand. I tried to get her to move a little slower, but if your girlfriend was as beautiful as a supermodel and a representative of a foreign power that could, let's face it, crush the US beneath its fashionable high heels, you'd probably have a hard time saying no too.

So I was trying to strike a balance between a) explaining it too slowly and confusing her and b) making her confident enough to wave her magic wand and make some kind of ridiculous situation happen. "So -you're right about no magic. It's mainly for kids, but some adults... never mind. I know you have different life cycles, forget I said that. We have our clothes, which we take off, as opposed to what you guys do which is just magically clean them up and keep wearing the same clothing. So we take them off and put on different clothing, very important about the different clothing and not just being naked, clothing that's supposed to look like something else, or someone else's clothing... we call that dressing up."

"Dress?" Amaryllis lit up. "Like my dress?"

I was never exactly sure how much she was getting. "Yes, someone might pretend to be a fairy like you, even though they're really just a regular human. They're not really a fairy, so don't go around granting them magical powers or anything. Just pretend. But they're dressed up as something that they're not."

"So I have to not be a fairy. And you have to not be a man."

"Um." That phrase was definitely on the worrisome side, as far as things Amaryllis said went. The transformations would expire relatively quickly, but it was still a little on the discombobulating side, and explaining to my boss that I couldn't come in the day before because I was a goldfish was not an experience I wanted to repeat. "Not quite, you still need to..." But by this point her wand was out and making slow circles.

"I like... witches. Witches are like fairies but they have hats! We don't have those, and I'd like to wear one. For this Halloween..." The wand spun faster, and a blanket of silver sparkles covered the room. "I'll make myself a witch!"

The silver sparkles blanketed the room, and I held my breath for a minute. But all that happened was that a huge floppy black witch's hat materialized to fall on Amaryllis' head. She giggled. I gave her a kiss, grateful that everything had turned out alright for once. "Great job, honey! You're a really great witch. Although I do think that traditionally they don't have frilly blue dresses and wings, as far as I'm concerned they look great on you."

She pouted. "I thought you said we weren't supposed to change our form! How would people know I'm a fairy if I didn't have my dress and wings? Oh well. What are you going to be?"

I thought we were over the dangerous bit. "Well, I was thinking of going as a dog. I need to look for a costume though." I realized my mistake as she pointed her wand at me.

"Oh, you don't need to look for a costume! I can make you a dog right now!" She flicked her wand, and I felt the now-familiar tingling of a transformation coming on. I opened my mouth, but all that emerged was a bark as I shrunk before my girlfriend.

She smiled. "Ooh, you turned out so great! So cute and little and fluffy. I was a little worried when you were talking about keeping the form but changing the dress, but I think you meant keeping your mind but changing your body. Humans are so silly sometimes! But I guess it's expected, you guys have a lot to learn about magical powers."

She pondered for a moment. "You do look like an ordinary dog though. Well, let's take care of that..." With a tap of her wand, two tiny fairy wings grew on my back. She squealed. "You're so cute!"

Description

Life with Amaryllis is never boring. Take last Halloween, for example...

"I still don't get it." The fairy frowned with unhappiness. "So you don't have transformation magic... but you just pretend to be something else. But only for one day." Her accent was intriguingly exotic. A casual observer might confuse it for something European, but for anyone who knew it could tell instantly that it was the accent of a resident of Fairyland. The fact that Amaryllis had wings, a magic wand, and an unearthly beauty that surpassed that of any human supermodel helped, of course.

I took a deep breath. Having Amaryllis as a girlfriend was the most amazing and wonderful thing that had ever happened to me, but it could be a little trying. Having to explain everything wasn't the problem; combined with the accent it was like having the world's most amazing foreign exchange student.

No, the problem was what happened when she half-understood a concept and waved her magic wand. I tried to get her to move a little slower, but if your girlfriend was as beautiful as a supermodel and a representative of a foreign power that could, let's face it, crush the US beneath its fashionable high heels, you'd probably have a hard time saying no too.

So I was trying to strike a balance between a) explaining it too slowly and confusing her and b) making her confident enough to wave her magic wand and make some kind of ridiculous situation happen. "So -you're right about no magic. It's mainly for kids, but some adults... never mind. I know you have different life cycles, forget I said that. We have our clothes, which we take off, as opposed to what you guys do which is just magically clean them up and keep wearing the same clothing. So we take them off and put on different clothing, very important about the different clothing and not just being naked, clothing that's supposed to look like something else, or someone else's clothing... we call that dressing up."

"Dress?" Amaryllis lit up. "Like my dress?"

I was never exactly sure how much she was getting. "Yes, someone might pretend to be a fairy like you, even though they're really just a regular human. They're not really a fairy, so don't go around granting them magical powers or anything. Just pretend. But they're dressed up as something that they're not."

"So I have to not be a fairy. And you have to not be a man."

"Um." That phrase was definitely on the worrisome side, as far as things Amaryllis said went. The transformations would expire relatively quickly, but it was still a little on the discombobulating side, and explaining to my boss that I couldn't come in the day before because I was a goldfish was not an experience I wanted to repeat. "Not quite, you still need to..." But by this point her wand was out and making slow circles.

"I like... witches. Witches are like fairies but they have hats! We don't have those, and I'd like to wear one. For this Halloween..." The wand spun faster, and a blanket of silver sparkles covered the room. "I'll make myself a witch!"

The silver sparkles blanketed the room, and I held my breath for a minute. But all that happened was that a huge floppy black witch's hat materialized to fall on Amaryllis' head. She giggled. I gave her a kiss, grateful that everything had turned out alright for once. "Great job, honey! You're a really great witch. Although I do think that traditionally they don't have frilly blue dresses and wings, as far as I'm concerned they look great on you."

She pouted. "I thought you said we weren't supposed to change our form! How would people know I'm a fairy if I didn't have my dress and wings? Oh well. What are you going to be?"

I thought we were over the dangerous bit. "Well, I was thinking of going as a dog. I need to look for a costume though." I realized my mistake as she pointed her wand at me.

"Oh, you don't need to look for a costume! I can make you a dog right now!" She flicked her wand, and I felt the now-familiar tingling of a transformation coming on. I opened my mouth, but all that emerged was a bark as I shrunk before my girlfriend.

She smiled. "Ooh, you turned out so great! So cute and little and fluffy. I was a little worried when you were talking about keeping the form but changing the dress, but I think you meant keeping your mind but changing your body. Humans are so silly sometimes! But I guess it's expected, you guys have a lot to learn about magical powers."

She pondered for a moment. "You do look like an ordinary dog though. Well, let's take care of that..." With a tap of her wand, two tiny fairy wings grew on my back. She squealed. "You're so cute!"