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DirgeofSorrow — Lies Add Up
Published: 2007-08-22 02:13:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 7496; Favourites: 56; Downloads: 15
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SHONEN-AI/YAOI WARNING: If you don't like it, then don't read it. But please keep any inappropriate comments to youself. Thank you, and enjoy the story. AkuRoku.It was the same as any other first day of school, with freshmen running around the wrong end of Twilight Town Highschool South, and seniors laughing, trying to direct the new students properly. No, it was nothing new for the senior named Axel Keiji. Axel was a rather tall boy at six-foot-two with natural crimson hair, which he normally pulled into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. He had piercing green eyes, and about half an inch under each eye was a small black mark. The origin of these marks was a topic he avoided. Axel was lanky and lean, with long fingers, which he had a tendency to run through his hair when he was nervous or deep in thought.
He greeted his friends Demyx and Zexion as he walked down the sticky hallway lined with grimy grey lockers. He continued onto the same locker that he’d used for the past three years and would be using again for this fourth and final one.
His, however, was different from the rest. Unlike all the other scratched and dented lockers, his had words spray painted crudely across the door. It read ‘fag’ in huge yellow letters, as well as a number of other sexuality references that had never completely washed off from previous abuse.
Indeed, it was nothing new for Axel Keiji, who was a nineteen year old homosexual high school senior. Until something new did happen on that warm September morning. A boy, probably a freshman, was putting new notebooks into the old locker next to Axel’s.
His face was hidden behind the door of the locker, but his book bag had his name on it—Roxas Hikari. A small hand reached into the bag and pulled out another book, this time a sketchpad. A loose piece of paper slipped from the sketchbook and landed on Axel’s foot. Both boys reached for it at once, and their eyes met sharply.
The younger boy—presumably Roxas—had blonde hair that had been spiked hastily, and vibrant blue eyes. He couldn’t have been older than fourteen or fifteen. Axel felt himself blush a bit—only a little bit, but he cursed it nonetheless—and handed the paper wordlessly to the boy.
“Oh, hello,” the blonde said politely. “My name’s Roxas. What’s yours?”
“Axel,” the red-haired man responded, praying that his blush had faded in time for a good introduction. “Got it memorized?”
“Err,” Roxas raised an eyebrow. “Yes…? Um, I just moved to Twilight Town. I’m a freshman, so I’m not sure where to go from here. Can you tell me how to get to my homeroom?” He shoved the paper that Axel had just returned back at the senior.
“Sure… it’s right near my homeroom, you can follow me, I guess.” Axel wanted to be helpful, but not seem too interested. After all, coming on too strong will frequently ruin possible friendships… or other relationships, in Axel’s case.
Axel slammed his graffitied locker shut, hoping that Roxas wouldn’t see the jeers and awful remarks scrawled on it.
Of course, though, Roxas had in fact noticed the locker. “Axel, who did that to your locker?”
“How the hell should I know?” Axel responded.
“I don’t know! But… shouldn’t you report it? It’s harassment and defacement of school property you know,” Roxas rationalized. Axel chuckled a bit and whirled on the blonde, pressing him into the defaced lockers.
“Listen here, kid,” Axel snapped. “There are a few things you’ll want to know about Twilight High South. No one here likes you if you’re gay. No one here likes you if you’re ugly. No one here likes you if you’re weird. It’s all or nothing. So I’ll ask you now—do YOU have a problem with people like me?” Axel’s eerie green eyes were glaring through Roxas’ blue ones.
Roxas looked sideways at the locker he was pressed against. “I don’t care what kind of person you are, or how you’re labeled at school. If you’re my friend, then it doesn’t matter. Or is it against the rules to accept people like that?”
Axel laughed again and released the kid.
“Sometimes, I think it may be the case. But hey, you’ve proven me wrong. I thought for sure you were gonna hit me with something and run off like a scared little kid.”
“Well I could do that,” reasoned the freshman, “But then I’d never find my class.”
Axel smirked. “Huh. I like you, kid.” Roxas looked a bit uncomfortable for a moment, but eventually he managed to smile back at his new friend.
“Robbing the cradle, you fag?” jeered a student in the hallway.
“Can’t keep your nasty hands off the kids, eh?” added another.
“Child molester!” called a third. “Fag!”
Axel glared murderously at the callous students and stayed silent, unable to find his voice for a decent retort. It was very likely those same kids were the ones who spray painted his locker.
“Hey! Lay off, you jerks!” Roxas had not lost his voice like Axel had. “Do you feel so badly about yourselves that you’ve got to put other people down just to stay up?”
“Oh, look who’s got himself a boyfriend!” laughed a skanky-looking girl with way too much makeup to be attractive. “He’s a cutie! What a shame. Now we’ve got two fags to deal with.”
Roxas was angry instantly, prepared to assault the crowd, but Axel put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“It won’t change anything,” he said sadly. “Got it memorized?”
“…Yeah.” Roxas brushed Axel’s hand away bitterly. “I’ve got it memorized.”
So Axel dragged Roxas off to class, despite the boy’s angry protests, leaving him at the door and wandering to his own homeroom.
Axel was completely unprepared for someone like Roxas. Someone who didn’t know the social rules of the school, who didn’t think of how he felt, and who was willing to defend someone else just because they were friends.
‘Not to mention someone as cute as him,’ Axel added in his thoughts before shaking his head violently, upsetting his already messy hair. ‘He’s a kid! A fourteen-year-old kid! Jeez!’
It didn’t help that the two had the same gym class and lunch periods. And, somehow, Roxas had somehow gotten himself invited to Axel’s house after school. Axel had no idea how that was managed, looking back on it.
“Oi, Roxas,” Axel said as the two walked awkwardly away from the school at the end of the day.
“Yeah?”
“Why did you sit with me at lunch?”
“Hm? Oh, that’s because no one would talk to me at all today. It was really weird.”
“It’s because those punks saw you talking to me this morning,” the redhead answered.
“What?” Roxas looked surprised. “Why would it be because of that?”
Axel laughed loudly. “Jeez… kid, you are really naïve. Do I have to spell it out? There are very, very few people in this school that actually talk to me. It’s because I am GAY. I like other GUYS. Because of this, I am HATED. Got it memorized?”
“You don’t have to say it like that,” snapped Roxas. “It wasn’t all that difficult to figure it out. But…” His voice softened. “Why would you… y’know, come out of the closet in a place like this?”
Axel looked away. “Well, it wasn’t on purpose. I sort of… ah, it’s nothing. When we get to my house, there’s gonna be cake. My mom owns a cake shop, and she makes ‘em a lot at home. She made this cake yesterday, it’s chocolate. It’s really good.”
The younger boy allowed himself to be distracted, although he knew perfectly well that the mention of cake was just a way for Axel to hide something. And for some reason, ever since he’d met Axel that morning, he’d felt sort of drawn to him in a way he didn’t yet understand.
“Kid! We’re here! Pay attention!” Axel whacked Roxas playfully on the back, sauntering up to the front door and opening it with a key from around his neck.
“Your house is nice,” Roxas mumbled. Axel shrugged.
“I guess,” the redhead said as they entered the house, Axel dropping his backpack carelessly at the foot of the stairs, while Roxas put his down more carefully. The senior led the way to a somewhat large kitchen, where a thickly frosted cake sat on a plate near a microwave and a toaster.
“Mom!” shouted Axel into the house, “I’m home! I’ve got company!” Roxas suddenly wondered what Axel’s parents were like. He wondered if they were okay with their son’s sexuality.
Roxas also couldn’t help but wonder what a child would do if their parents rejected them. The freshman shuddered at the thought as Axel cut a rather large piece of cake for himself and then an equally big one for his friend.
The redhead proceeded to plop down in an overstuffed armchair in the adjoining living room, grabbing a remote and turning on the large-screen television. Roxas followed hesitantly with his own piece of cake and sat down in the armchair next to Axel’s.
“So, you got yerself a girlfriend where you moved from?” asked the senior crudely, not looking at the blonde.
“Well, I did, but when my family moved, I broke up with her.” Roxas knew his friend was really just testing the waters. “Her name was Namine.”
“Hm. Well, that sucks for me, then.”
Roxas stared in disbelief. Could this guy BE any more obvious? Axel, sensing the boy’s shock and annoyance, flashed a cocky grin. Roxas rolled his eyes. Although he also noted that, in a way, it felt kind of good to have Axel interested like that. Even if he was only kidding.
Yes, even if Axel was simply poking fun, Roxas felt butterflies in his stomach and blushed slightly.
‘No… No! I’m not gay!’ the blonde assured himself, and then spoke.
“It sucks for me, too! I really liked her.”
“Well, now you sort of sound like you’re covering something up. Way to go, Roxas.”
“I am not!” Roxas exclaimed, setting his cake down and blushing more.
“You’re turning red,” Axel pointed out, bringing the blush out further. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you LIKE this sort of attention.” The older boy’s hand shot out and grabbed Roxas’ wrist, pulling their faces just inches apart.
“I’d say,” he murmured, “You like me.”
Roxas, now resembling a tomato quite excellently, found himself unable to pull back, unable to remove his gaze from those entrancing green eyes, unable to stop glancing down at the redheaded man’s slightly parted lips…
“Axel, sweetie, you’re making him uncomfortable.” A woman with Axel’s eyes and soft brown hair grabbed Axel’s hand away from Roxas’ and smiled pleasantly.
“Mom,” grumbled Axel, “I was only kidding.”
The woman, presumably Axel’s mother, ignored her son and smiled at the blonde.
“And what’s your name?” she asked kindly.
“I’m Roxas,” Roxas said shyly.
“I’m Adrianna, Axel’s mom. It’s nice to meet you,” she extended a hand.
“N-nice to meet you, too,” stuttered the blonde, shaking her hand feebly. “The cake is really good.”
“Good to hear it. A certain somebody”—she glared at Axel—“Doesn’t give my baking enough gratitude.”
Axel averted his eyes to the muted television, mumbling curses under his breath.
“So why don’t you two play some video games? Roxas, are you staying for dinner? It’s pizza night.”
“Right. Video games,” Axel muttered. “I was playing games already.”
“I’m sure,” Adrianna said dryly. “I’m going back upstairs. You boys play nice. And Axel, you KNOW what I mean.”
The redhead ignored his mom, who walked back up the stairs and slammed a door behind her. An awkward silence flooded the room, only to be filled by the redhead turning up the volume on the television.
“So, um… what games do you have?” asked Roxas lamely. Axel grunted in response, throwing a video game controller at the blonde and taking another for himself.
Roxas stayed for dinner and then retreated home, all the while assuring himself that he was not depressed by Axel’s silent treatment and that he had not liked the sort of attention the highschool senior had been giving him prior to his rescue.
The next day at school, Roxas headed for his locker in silence, with some people whispering things as he walked past. He saw Axel standing solemnly in front of the two boys’ lockers.
The messages on Axel’s from the previous day had been removed, and new ones spanned the two lockers menacingly.
‘Fags in love,’ it said in red paint, dried drops of paint coming down from the letters like tears falling down a face.
‘Disgusting,’ jeered another message in blue. The blue was cold, like ice.
‘Sickening,’ screamed a third in yellow. Axel turned slowly to Roxas; his eyes mirrored the boy’s feelings.
Anger, hurt, grief, and guilt ebbed from the older boy’s brilliant green eyes, his fists clenched at his side.
“Sorry,” Axel told Roxas. “I didn’t want this to happen. Not to you.”
“It’s not your fault,” the blonde answered. Axel snorted rudely.
“Wanna bet? No one had any reason to suspect you until they saw you with me. Got it memorized? This place—no, this world—is not so nice to people like us.”
‘Like us?’ Roxas wondered as his friend walked away. The moment Axel was out of sight, the punks from the previous day arrived and shoved Roxas to the dirty, sticky hallway floor. The one that appeared to be the ringleader kicked the blonde in the leg hard enough to leave a bruise.
“One fag wasn’t enough?” the boy sneered. “We needed more gays? Nasty.” He spat in Roxas’ face. “You’re a sick freak. Just like Keiji… no, you’re WORSE. You can’t even defend yourself without your ugly, stupid fag boyfriend, can you?”
The ringleader lifted Roxas by the shirt, pulled back a fist, and threw it. Roxas clenched his teeth for the impact, but it never came.
An older boy with periwinkle hair and menacing eyes had grabbed the wrist of the ringleader and stopped the punch.
“Seifer,” he growled. “Don’t you dare.” He squeezed Seifer’s wrist cruelly and Roxas felt himself fall back to the floor safely as the ringleader, Seifer, grunted in pain.
“Get lost,” Roxas’ savior advised, releasing Seifer, who scampered off with his friends.
“Are you okay?” asked the periwinkle haired man, helping Roxas off the ground.
“Y-yeah. Thank you.”
“No problem,” answered the man. Just then, a sandy blonde boy came up behind the periwinkle haired man and grinned.
“Yep, any friend of Axel’s is a friend of ours!” he exclaimed. “I’m Demyx. This is Zexion. You’re Roxas, right?”
“Erm… yeah, but how did you—?”
“Axel talked to us last night,” Zexion said. “Told us about you.”
“Wh-what about me?” asked Roxas nervously.
“Secret,” smirked Demyx. “We’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
“We’d better get to homeroom” advised Zexion. “The bell will be ringing soon.”
So the students said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Roxas was still extremely shaken up.
He wondered briefly what Axel had said about him, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts away from the beating he’d narrowly avoided.
As Axel had said, the world was not so nice.
These thoughts carried the blonde through math class, social studies, and Latin. In each class, he was stared at, rejected, and taunted. Then, he had gym with Axel.
They were told to partner up, and since neither Demyx nor Zexion were in the class, Axel ended up with Roxas as a partner.
Axel sighed to himself. He stood dutifully next to Roxas, looking at the other pairs of students who pointed and whispered.
Assholes. They had no right.
They had paired up for tennis, which Roxas was pretty good at. Axel was terrible, but his bad playing made the blonde laugh. Roxas’ laughter delighted Axel. His blue eyes, his smile… Axel was attracted to everything about Roxas. The boy’s wide-eyed innocence, his faltering denial… it was all so cute.
The day passed much like the previous one, with the two eating lunch together and then going to Axel’s house after school.
“My mom’s not home today,” Axel told Roxas, “she stays late in her shop on Tuesdays. So it’s just us. You can leave if you want.”
“Why would I leave?”
“Because of this,” Axel said. Just like the day before, he gripped Roxas’ wrist and pulled him close, grinning.
The boy felt his heart flutter every time Axel touched him. He felt butterflies in his stomach whenever Axel spoke. Especially when the redhead said his name. It was like magic. Roxas shook his head abruptly, trying to clear his thoughts.
But the thoughts, instead of abandoning him, grew stronger. Roxas looked into Axel’s eyes, and then at the marks under them.
“Say, Axel,” Roxas started. “What are those marks under your eyes?” Axel’s smile vanished and he released the younger boy.
“Burns,” he said softly. “They are burns.”
“Where did they come from?” Axel looked sadly at his friend and shook his head.
“Are you sure you wanna know, Roxas? It’s not a happy story. Are you sure?”
“Yes,” the blonde said firmly.
“Okay, well… two years ago, a bunch of guys jumped me outside of school. They held me down and took out a lighter. They burned my face like this. What you see are scars that won’t fade.”
Roxas’ blue eyes widened and then filled with tears. Axel narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t cry,” the redhead commanded. “You’ve known me for what, two days? Suck it up.”
“It feels longer, Axel, and I think you know it,” Roxas choked. “Did you know? I almost got beaten up today. When you left the lockers this morning, a bunch of guys knocked me down and almost beat the hell out of me. They would’ve, if your friends hadn’t helped me. Demyx and Zexion, their names were. The guys that saved me.”
Axel blanched. “Beatings after just one day?” His face grew very angry; his eyes became demon like, his mouth forming a venomous snarl.
“If anything else happens, Roxas,” he said slowly, full of rage, “you tell me. I’ll beat the shit out of those little asswipes.” Roxas looked again into the demonic eyes of his friend, feeling fear. He shivered.
“You don’t have to protect me, Axel,” he finally spoke.
“Yeah, I do,” Axel replied angrily. “Because if I don’t… you could end up burned like me. These scars, they’re the only visible ones. The worst ones are here.” He pointed at his heart. “Every day for the past three YEARS, Roxas! Don’t you get it? Because of me, you’re always going to be completely miserable. Every corner you turn, you will always be at risk. Because you hang around ME, that is your fate. And if we’d never met, then you wouldn’t be in such deep trouble! So if I don’t protect you, then I’ve completely failed! Got it MEMORIZED!? I have to protect you!”
Roxas’ teary eyes became wetter, and childishly he burst into tears, throwing himself at Axel, who hugged back, biting his lip. He didn’t know how to respond to someone like Roxas.
No matter how much Axel did like Roxas, the boy was untouchable. It was a fact Axel thought he knew for sure.
Roxas, on the other hand, was feeling something he didn’t know how to describe. The feelings he’d once felt towards Namine, they had been real, hadn’t they? But he was feeling something else for Axel. It was a familiar feeling, but carried no place in his heart. It was warm and nostalgic, yet new and exciting.
Eventually the embrace ended, and awkwardly the pair went to play video games like they had the day before. Both tried very hard to let the other win, so it ended up as a draw.
Three months passed, both boys developing feelings that they tried very hard to suppress. Especially Roxas, although he felt near to bursting by the time November rolled around.
Every day since the first day of school, the pair had received endless amounts of abuse. Axel had soon developed a habit of walking the blonde boy to each of his classes to protect him from Seifer and the other bullies. Occasionally, Zexion or Demyx would add to the escort.
So, on that windy day in November, the two were walking dutifully to Axel’s home. It was a Tuesday, so Adrianna was not home. As Axel complained about a teacher he disliked, Roxas focused his eyes on the redhead’s lips.
He had developed a habit of watching Axel’s mouth, hands, and eyes. These were the parts of Axel that expressed the most emotions.
His hands would clench when he was angry and his long fingers would twitch when he was thinking about something.
Axel would bite his bottom lip when he was either thinking or upset, and grin when he was feeling cocky or happy.
His green eyes showed everything. They told Roxas when Axel was happy or sad, scared or angry. They glared when the redhead was pissed, often scarier whenever his feelings involved Roxas.
Axel had once told Roxas that they were best friends. For some reason, hearing that made Roxas’ heart ache. Part of him didn’t want to be ‘best friends’ with Axel.
“Roxas?” Axel snapped his fingers in front of the blonde’s face, forcing him out of his musings. “It’s considered rude, ya know, to not pay attention to someone when they’re talking to you. Got it memorized?”
“Axel,” Roxas said slowly, “I feel… funny.”
“When we get to my place, you’ll sit down.”
“No, I mean… in my chest, it’s tight when I hear you talking. My heart speeds up, my head spins, I have butterflies in my stomach. I… I don’t know what to call this feeling,” he told the redhead.
Axel was feeling much the same. Forcing a breath, he said, “Try to give it a name.”
“I think I’m in love with you,” the blonde mumbled, embarrassed. Would Axel laugh in his face?
And then Axel was kissing him passionately, abandoning his backpack to pull Roxas closer, one hand on Roxas’ wrist and one on the back of his neck, trying to pull Roxas even further into the kiss. Roxas stood dumbly, in shock, before kissing back with equal ferocity, his free hand in Axel’s untamed crimson hair. Numbly, he let Axel lead him blindly to the redhead’s house, where they scrambled through the front door and slammed it, leaving their backpacks in front of the door, their mouths never parting.
Axel tripped and fell backwards onto the couch with Roxas on his chest, their kiss breaking momentarily for air before Axel flipped himself on top so he towered over the boy.
“I feel the same, you know,” he murmured. “Butterflies in my stomach. My head reeling. My heart racing. You know why?” Roxas shook his head. “It’s all for you, Roxas,” Axel said in Roxas’ ear. “Everything is for you. My heart aches for you, Roxas, and no one else.”
“Ever?” prompted the blonde.
“Never,” responded Axel, lowering his head down to Roxas’ for another kiss to find himself stopped by the boy.
“My parents don’t know,” Roxas whispered fearfully. “My mom won’t care, but my dad…”
“They don’t have to if you don’t want them to,” Axel said slyly. “Keep us a secret when you’re at home.”
“But—“ Roxas’ protest was ended quickly by Axel’s mouth on his ear and he shivered, gripping Axel’s arms shakily. He shuddered and made a soft noise as he relaxed into Axel’s affections.
Axel pressed Roxas earnestly into the couch, sliding his lips sensually down the boy’s jaw. Roxas turned his head, allowing the redhead to take control.
“Axel,” whispered the blonde.
“I love it when you say my name,” Axel murmured, kissing Roxas softly.
“Axel,” Roxas whispered again. Axel chuckled.
“Say it louder,” the redhead commanded, kissing the boy’s chin, running his mouth down Roxas’ neck.
“A-Axel!” Roxas was louder now, more urgent, his grip on Axel’s arms tighter. Axel lifted his head and smiled.
“Why’d you stop?” demanded Roxas, blushing like mad.
“Huh? What, did you want to go all the way?” Axel taunted. “Right here? You’d get a migraine.”
Roxas rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue, only to have it trapped in Axel’s mouth. He reached his arms up and wrapped them around Axel’s neck, pulling the redhead down hard.
“Ow! What the hell?” exclaimed Axel. Roxas grinned, kissed Axel’s cheek, and sat up on the couch.
The next day at school, Roxas wanted everyone to know how he really felt about Axel. The blonde held Axel’s hand firmly as they entered the building.
“They won’t be happy,” Axel warned. But Roxas didn’t care. Most of the student body was already unhappy with him and Axel, and hadn’t he waited long enough? The pair approached Zexion and Demyx.
“Finally got it together?” Zexion raised an eyebrow. Axel grinned and Roxas nodded, feeling a bit flustered.
“Finally,” amended Demyx, smiling and giving a thumbs up.
Axel and Roxas continued to their lockers, ready for Seifer and his gang, who were waiting for them. Roxas tightened his grip on Axel’s hand, and the redhead squeezed back.
“Gross,” Seifer spat, “Had to make it public? You’re sickening.”
Roxas narrowed his eyes. “We’re not hurting you or anyone else, Seifer. Leave us alone.”
“Make me, fag.”
“You aren’t worth the effort. Get over yourself,” Roxas said boldy.
“What? Screw you!” Seifer snapped.
“Sorry, that’ my job,” Axel pointed out. Seifer made a repulsed face and stalked off bitterly with his groupies in tow. The two boys looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“Th-that was AWESOME!” Roxas chortled.
“Yeah, but now we’ve got to be extra careful around that jerk,” the redhead warned. “He’s gonna want revenge.”
“Please. Revenge for what? We didn’t do anything.”
“Far as Seifer’s concerned, we did.”
“Well, that’s not important,” Roxas declared.
“We’ll just stick together.”
“I like that idea,” smirked Axel, pulling the boy closer to his side, tangling their fingers together lazily.
Roxas, who was dwarfed by Axel being only five-foot-seven, stood on his toes and kissed Axel softly, smiling against the redhead’s lips.
Axel smiled back. He was euphoric, walking through the halls of a place he’d once despised, holding hands with someone he really cared about, kissing him without fear of rejection.
“So I’ll see you during gym?” Roxas prompted.
“Yeah,” Axel replied.
“Right. So… bye?” Axel smiled. Roxas had no idea just how cute he was.
“See ya, babe,” Axel whispered in Roxas’ ear, kissed the boy on the cheek, and sauntered off arrogantly. He was on top of the world.
Roxas was feeling pretty good himself, as if a giant weight had been lifted off his chest.
He was feeling pretty good all through gym, lunch, and being at Axel’s house after school.
He was feeling pretty good when he and Axel told Adrianna about their relationship; she hugged them and then baked a cake.
He was feeling pretty good when Axel kissed him goodbye and his mother came to get him.
He was feeling pretty good until his mother handed him a letter from Namine, his ex-girlfriend.
Everything crashed down painfully when the letter told him that Namine, her parents, and her older sister Larxene were moving to Twilight Town and that Namine wanted them to get back together.
After that, well, he just felt like crap.
As soon as the car pulled into the garage, Roxas bolted to the sanctity of his bedroom and locked the door, whipping out his cell phone to call Axel.
“Hey,” Axel said over the phone, happy to hear from his boyfriend after their five minutes apart.
“Hey,” Roxas answered. For a moment, the blonde had forgotten why he called Axel, melting at the sound of the redhead’s voice, flushing with pleasure. But he shook his head and spoke. “I’ve got a bit of a problem,” the blonde said.
“Yeah? Me too. We’re apart,” Axel chuckled.
“That was cheesy,” Roxas complained dryly. “Seriously. My ex-girlfriend is moving to Twilight Town. I got a letter from her. She wants us to get back together. And you know the house next to yours, Axel? Guess who bought it.” The blonde waited for Axel’s response. He heard his boyfriend take a deep breath, and then the redhead spoke.
“Okay, so are you telling me we’re screwed?”
“I haven’t gotten to the best part. See, Namine is the kind of person who will be both understanding and supportive of me and you when she finds out. She will harbor no ill will nor any hard feelings. The problem,” he said, “is Namine’s older sister, Larxene. Larx is… well, she’s sadistic. Manipulative, too. When she finds out—and trust me, she WILL find out as soon as she meets you—she’s not going to say a word to either of us.”
“So what’s the problem?” exclaimed Axel.
“She won’t say anything to us. She’ll tell my dad. My dad, the homophobe. My dad, the guy who’ll disown me when he finds out. That, Axel, is the problem.”
Axel said, “We’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.”
“Yep.”
“No matter what, your dad’s gonna find out.”
“Yep.”
Axel sighed. “Okay then, Roxas… if anything happens, tell me. Got it memorized?”
Roxas laughed softly at the overused phrase. “Yeah, I’ve got it memorized.”
So, two days later, Roxas was waiting for the moving truck, sitting on Axel’s bed and watching out the window at the house next door. Axel was still sleeping, his hair even more unkempt and messy than normal. Roxas smiled a bit and smoothed some of his boyfriend’s red locks away from his face. He resumed his watch.
Around 11:30, the big white moving truck, followed by a sleek car, rolled around the bend and into the driveway. Despite himself, Roxas was a bit excited. He truly cared about Namine—nothing like he used to, but he still felt a slight flutter. She was a good friend, the kind of person who would listen patiently and then offer advice that was not only helpful, but wise beyond her years and her experiences.
The blonde boy threw himself out of Axel’s house and ran to the car that Namine was climbing out of.
“R-Roxas!” Her voice was soft, pleased, and she blushed. He felt a bit guilty.
“Nami,” he greeted her with her nickname, hugging her as a hello. He nodded towards Larxene, who was emerging from the other side of the car with an MP3 player in her ears, as well as Namine’s parents, who were also happy to see him.
“New neighbors!” called Adrianna, rushing over from next door, dragging Axel mercilessly behind her. Roxas noted that despite her petite form, Axel’s mother was a strong lady.
“Hello,” Namine’s mother Marlia smiled, shaking hands with Adrianna.
“I’m Adrianna Keiji—this lazy bum is my son, Axel.”
“Nice to meet you,” smiled Marlia. “Larx, Nami, come say hello!” Namine walked over to Axel and bowed her head. Larxene, however, had a rather disastrous reaction.
“Hey,” she greeted, her mouth forming a pretty smile, her eyes glistening with greed. “You’re cute. We should go out some time.” She was looking straight at Axel, who bit his lip and averted his eyes.
“Sorry, I’m gay,” Axel told her. Roxas rolled his eyes. Did Axel just have to say things like that so tactlessly? He shook his head softly.
“Ugh.” Larxene shoved her headphones back over her ears and marched into the house. Namine giggled, and Roxas allowed himself to laugh a bit as well.
“So, Namine, about your letter,” Roxas said. Namine smiled.
“Oh, right. So, what do you say? Want to give it another go?” the small blonde girl smiled shyly. Roxas felt another pang of guilt.
“Well, I need to talk to you about that. Over there.” Roxas pointed towards Axel’s house. Namine’s face fell a bit, as if she knew that some sort of rejection was coming her way.
Once in the safety of Axel’s house, Namine sat awkwardly in one of the armchairs. Roxas sat in the second one, and Axel was leaning on the back of it.
“Namine, I’m so sorry, but I… I can’t be your boyfriend,” Roxas said quietly.
“I can see I won’t be changing your mind… but may I ask why?” she replied calmly.
“Well… I guess I ought to just say it. I met someone. But that’s not the whole truth. You see, this person I met…”
“It’s Axel, right?” Roxas nearly fell out of his chair, and Axel fell over laughing hysterically. Namine sat with a soft smile on her face, looking pleased with herself. “I saw the way Axel was watching you outside,” she explained. “I guess it was just… a woman’s intuition.”
Axel let out a huge sigh and threw his arms around Roxas’ neck. The blonde attempted to shake off the older man, but the redhead refused to budge. The girl laughed and shook her head.
“Stop resisting me, or I’ll tickle you to death,” threatened Axel. Roxas eventually gave up on the human leech hanging off of him and looked back at Namine.
“So, no hard feelings?” he asked earnestly.
“None from me. Now, Larxene on the other hand… She’s angry at Axel, and she knows how to hold a grudge. Perhaps you shouldn’t have expressed your, um… sexuality to her quite so bluntly. She’s probably all ready figured you two out, and she’s definitely going to do something awful… I’ll keep an eye on her if I can…”
Roxas sighed. “Thanks, Nami. I hope we can still be friends.”
“Well of course. I don’t know anyone else at school, so tomorrow, you two had better step up and show me around!” Namine laughed cutely.
Fortunately for Axel and Roxas, the week continued without incident. It was going well until Larxene approached Axel after his German class.
“Keiji,” she regarded him coldly. “Want to know what I saw when I was taking a walk last night?”
“It was pouring last night,” Axel responded coolly, “so I assume you saw some rain.”
“Funny. But no, that’s not what I saw. No, I saw a certain redheaded man kissing a certain blonde freshman. This freshman’s father is not someone who supports QUEERS.” The blonde vixen said the word like it was a poison, wrinkling her nose as the word passed through her lips. “So I think this father has a right to know what his child has been corrupted by. I don’t think this relationship of yours will be allowed to go on. What a pity.” She smiled evilly and walked off, leaving Axel speechless and dumbfounded.
He didn’t have the heart to tell his boyfriend just what was waiting for him at home. He said his goodbyes to Roxas when the blonde’s mother came to pick him up and shut the door. It was not going to be a good night.
Roxas’ mother had to return to her office that night, so she dropped her son in the driveway, kissed his head, and drove away. He waved until her car was out of sight and entered his house.
His father who was normally in the computer room playing solitaire when Roxas arrived home was waiting in the kitchen looking incredibly angry.
“Dad?” asked Roxas. “Something wrong?”
“Yes,” his father replied shortly. “It’s you. I hear you’re gay now? What’s that bullshit?” Roxas took a step back, dropping his jacket on the floor, his eyes wide with panic.
“B-but how—“ he stuttered, only to be cut off by his father.
“I won’t have it!” hissed Roxas’ dad. “No son of mine is going to be queer!”
“D-Dad, it isn’t really a choice. It’s not my—“
“Not your fault?” he raised his voice. “Then tell me Roxas, whose fault it it!?”
“Dad!”
“No, don’t address me as your father! You are no son of mine! You hear me? YOU ARE NOT MY CHILD!” his dad screamed.
“FINE WITH ME!” retorted Roxas. The blonde grabbed his jacket off the floor and marched to the door.
“And where the hell d’you think YOU’RE going!?”
“Axel’s house.”
“Who’s that? The guy who made you gay!?”
Roxas glared. “You know what? I’m sick and tired of keeping my life a secret. Axel did not make me ANYTHING! I love him, and if you don’t like that, well… tough shit! This is who I am, Dad, and this is all you get!” Roxas stormed out of the house and into the dark, racing towards Axel’s house.
He stumbled momentarily, landing in a puddle from the previous night’s rain storm.
“Shit!” he exclaimed, picking himself up and running again. He ran until he could see the redhead’s house lights shining in the dark. He pounded on the front door and fell into the foyer when Adrianna opened the door.
“Roxas!?” she said in a surprised voice. “Wh-what happened!? You’re covered in mud! And it’s 10:30 at night!”
“I know,” he panted. “I’m sorry.”
“What happened?”
“My dad found out about Axel and me.” Her green eyes widened. “He told me that I was no son of his, and called Axel ‘the guy who made me gay.’”
“Oh, sweetheart…” Adrianna hugged Roxas, despite the mud. “Go upstairs and take a shower. Stay here for tonight.”
“Where’s Axel?” asked Roxas.
“Sleeping, I’m afraid. Should I wake him?”
“No, it’s fine.” She nodded and took his jacket and inspected it.
“Well, okay… borrow some of Axel’s clothes and bring your dirty ones down when you’re ready,” she said.
Roxas nodded and trudged up the stairs to the bathroom, trying not to get too much mud on the carpet. He closed the door and pulled off his muddy clothing slowly, walked over to the shower, and turned it on.
Since Axel had apparently used all the hot water before he went to sleep, the water was cold against the blonde’s skin. It was cold like Larxene’s icy smile, like his father’s disapproving eyes, like Seifer’s words. Cold and lonely, like his shattered heart. Roxas was so tired of trying to hold everything together and he started crying. His tears were only distinguishable from the shower water due to their salty warmth. He gasped for breath, unable to stop his tears from sliding down his cheeks and into the drain.
In another room, Axel was forced from his slumber by the sound of his shower running.
‘Is Mom in my bathroom?’ he wondered groggily. Axel stood and looked around. He wasn’t still dreaming, he was still in the same boxers he’d worn to bed, and Adrianna was still downstairs doing stuff.
‘So’, Axel thought, ‘Who the hell is in the freaking shower!?’ Then he heard something that made him stop completely. Whoever was in his bathroom was sobbing. Whoever it was, they were nearly screaming as they cried. It was definitely a boy. And then it hit him. It had to be Roxas. Larxene must have told Roxas’ father just like she said she would.
Axel, now completely awake, walked hesitantly towards the bathroom. Roxas was gasping in between heavy sobs, hyperventilating.
‘He might be in shock, or just coming out of it,’ reasoned the redhead, reaching for the doorknob. He heard Roxas let out a much softer wail and then it was quieter.
Axel opened the door. Roxas was slumped on the shower floor, his crying now silent, his blue eyes puffy and red. Tears mingled with the shower water and streamed down his pretty face. His cheeks were flushed, and there was still some mud washing out of his golden hair.
Axel ran a hand through his red hair. Never had he seen a single person look so broken. Roxas’ eyes focused slowly, but he didn’t move.
“Axel,” he said hoarsely. “My dad… Larxene…”
“I know,” Axel responded. “I know.” For a moment, neither of them moved. Then Axel shut the door behind him and stepped forward into the shower.
“C-cold!” the redhead exclaimed.
“Sorry,” mumbled Roxas.
“No problem,” Axel sighed. He knelt in front of his boyfriend and put his fingers under the boy’s chin, lifting Roxas’ head. “When your heart hurts… so does mine, okay? You’re hurting so badly, and I can’t do anything.”
“That’s okay,” Roxas mumbled.
The redhead looked into Roxas’ eyes. Another tear slid down the blonde’s cheek. Axel leaned forward and kissed the tear halfway down Roxas’ face, tasting its salty sadness.
“Come on,” Axel said. “Let’s get you dry.” The redhead stood and turned off the cold water. When Roxas didn’t move, Axel picked him up and carried the blonde to the bedroom. Roxas’ boxers were dry enough, and since the blonde was making no effort to move, Axel slid them up the boy’s legs and looked at Roxas’ face.
“How about you get some sleep, hm?” Roxas nodded quietly and slid himself under the covers of the bed that was still warm from Axel’s slumber. Axel bit his bottom lip and started to leave.
“Wait,” Roxas said.
“What?”
“Don’t… don’t leave.” Axel smiled despite himself and slid into bed next to his boyfriend. Roxas’ arms snaked their way around the older man’s waist, and Axel sighed.
“G’night, Roxas,” he whispered. His words fell on deaf ears, however, because Roxas was all ready asleep.
The next day, a Saturday, Roxas woke up to an empty bed. His clothes, now clean, were folded neatly on Axel’s dresser. He dressed himself and went down the stairs, where Axel and Adrianna were talking.
“Oh, Roxas, you’re up!” Adrianna scurried over to the blonde. “I called your mother. It was better that she hear from me than your father, I think. She was surprised, but not upset. She said she wanted you and Axel to go to your house.”
Roxas looked at his feet. “Face my dad after what he said? After what I said to him? I can’t—“
“Don’t you dare say you can’t,” interrupted Axel from his seat at the table. “Because you can. Got it memorized?”
“Yes, Axel, I’ve got it memorized,” the blonde laughed. It felt so right to be in Axel’s kitchen, talking with Axel’s mother, being with Axel first thing in the morning. Adrianna had made waffles from scratch, and the two boys inhaled their breakfast greedily. Then Axel pulled on his flip-flops and opened the front door for his hesitant lover.
“After you, darling,” the redhead smirked, grabbing Roxas for a quick kiss before Adrianna shooed both of them out the door.
“We’re taking my car; I don’t feel like walking,” Axel said.
“You have a car?”
“Well, I’m 19. Of course I have a car.”
“Why don’t you drive to school?” asked Roxas.
“Oh, every time I drive to school, someone slashes my tires.” Axel grinned the same grin he always gave Roxas, and the blonde stared incredulously as Axel put the top down on a blue convertible that was sitting in the driveway.
“Well, come on, you’ve got to take me to meet your parents,” joked the older man. Roxas grimaced and got into Axel’s car as Axel revved the engine and drove towards Roxas’ house at a speed way too fast to be legal. Roxas, still uneasy about the whole ‘meet the parents’ idea thought that maybe if he asked nicely, Axel would drive them out of the country instead of to his house.
But he didn’t get the chance, as Axel had already pulled to a stop in front of Roxas’ nondescript pale blue house. Grabbing Roxas’ hand, the redhead sauntered up to the front door and rang the doorbell twice. Roxas’ mother opened the door, her face calm.
“Welcome home,” she said with a soft smile. “Your father’s in the living room.” The blonde nodded meekly, wishing he could sink into the floor and disappear. Axel seemed to notice his discomfort and gave his hand a small squeeze. Roxas was not reassured, but walked dutifully to where his dad was waiting.
As soon as the two boys were in sight, Roxas’ father looked at Axel sharply. His eyes darted to the boys’ hands still clasped together, and then at Axel’s slightly smug expression. Axel was the first to speak.
“Hello, Mr. Hikari. I’m Axel Keiji. Roxas’ boyfriend. It’s nice to finally meet you, even though I’m sure you’d like to kick me out right now.”
“Axel!” Roxas stepped harshly on the older boy’s foot, but Axel just grinned his arrogant smile. Roxas’ dad raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I suppose it’s nice to meet you too, Axel. Look, I need to apologize for my behavior last night, Roxas.”
Roxas answered with bravery he didn’t feel. “Yes, you do, Dad. Are you aware how hard it is for me right now? It’s been two weeks of hiding this from you, three months of hiding it from everyone else! At school, do you know what we get every morning? Axel and I get to read the latest gay remarks spray painted on our lockers. At lunch, sometimes objects are thrown at us. IT SUCKS. Then I come here, and you’re yelling at me for loving someone!? Grow up, Dad.”
Roxas’ father fell back in his chair and eyed his son carefully. “I’m not apologizing for what I said, Roxas, just the way I said it. You’re my little boy, and—“
“Dad, please, I’m fifteen years old. I’ll be sixteen in a week.”
“What!?” Axel exclaimed, lightening the mood. “I didn’t get you a present! Damn, Roxas, you never tell me anything!” Roxas abandoned his father temporarily.
“It’s okay,” he tried to soothe the redhead, “It’s not about the present. I’ll be with you all day, so it’s fine.”
“No, now I have to buy you something! Damn it! What do you want?”
“Axel, now’s not the time!” Roxas exclaimed, blushing furiously, looking at his father embarrassedly.
“Like I was saying, Roxas. I’m not sorry. This whole business of liking other men… quite honestly, it disgusts me. I think it’s horrible. But you’re my child, Roxas. I don’t like it, not in the slightest. But I’m going to accept it. I have to, if that’s who you are. But don’t think for a second I support it, because I think being gay is WRONG.”
“Dad, thinking about that kind of thing is setting yourself up to fail, don’t you think? Regardless… This isn’t supposed to be about what you want. This is about what I want. And I… want Axel. Axel is who makes me happy. His mom’s happy for us. Namine is happy for us. Our friends Demyx and Zexion are happy for us. Why can’t YOU be happy for us? Or are you going to be like Larxene, who wants to tear us down?
“Are you going to abandon me here just because I’m not the person you wanted me to be?”
Roxas looked expectantly at his father, his blue eyes hard. He gripped Axel’s hand for support, and Axel was silent.
“No…” his father finally spoke. “I won’t abandon you. You are my child, and I am your father. But I will not respect this decision you’ve made. I think it’s repulsive and vile. But no, Roxas, I will never abandon my only son.”
Roxas allowed himself to smile and relaxed his hold on Axel’s hand. “Fair enough.”
“Well, I’m glad this is all clear,” Axel sighed. “But now I’ve got to go shopping.”
“Can I come?” asked Roxas.
“What? Hell no. I’m buying your birthday present.”
“Fine, be that way.”
“Will do. See you later.” Axel shot a furious look at Roxas’ father and kissed the blonde passionately before waving and sauntering out of the house. Roxas, without looking at either of his parents, ran up the stairs to his bedroom.
“Axel,” he sighed as he shut the door. “What a weird guy.”
One week later, Roxas was at Axel’s house with the redhead, Adrianna, his mother (who was actually very supportive of his homosexuality), Namine, Zexion, and Demyx. Adrianna had baked a birthday cake for Roxas, so he had no choice but to blow out candles like a young child would on their birthday.
He didn’t make a wish, though; he knew that wishing for change wouldn’t do anything. Wishing hadn’t made his family accept him. Wishing hadn’t made him meet Axel. So his only wish was that the cake would taste just as good as all of Adrianna’s cakes did.
Namine had bought him a gift certificate for his favorite book store. Zexion had bought him a DVD of a movie he’d been wanting, and Demyx bought him a CD from a band he liked.
After eating cake, the group watched the DVD that Zexion had given Roxas, and then they left, wishing Roxas a happy birthday. While Adrianna was cleaning up, Roxas and Axel were playing video games. Roxas was lying with his head on one armrest and his feet on the other. Axel was lying on top of the blonde with his feet near Roxas’s head and his controller in his hands on the floor.
Axel was winning the game, and Roxas was scowling about it. Then, Axel paused the game and sat up, reaching into his back pocket and giving Roxas a small black bag.
“Happy birthday,” Axel grinned. Roxas opened his palm and watched as a golden heart-shaped pendant slipped from the bag and into his hand, a golden chain tickling his skin.
“A necklace?” he looked up at Axel. The redhead nodded and pointed at his own neck, where the same necklace rested loosely around his throat.
“See, we both have the same heart-shaped necklace. So our hearts are connected.”
“That’s cheesy,” remarked Roxas as he put the necklace on, feeling the cool metal on his neck.
“It looks great on you, babe.” Axel leaned over and kissed Roxas’ neck slowly.
“You are so… so…” Roxas was unable to find the appropriate word.
“What? Gay?” Axel grinned happily and kissed the blonde. Roxas laughed and kissed back.
“Exactly.”
Related content
Comments: 148
Thank you! That was my goal. I wanted it to be realistic so it would be easier to connect with.
The part with the dad was very important to me. I believe that accepting a child's homosexuality is more difficult for a father than a mother if the child is a boy, because the father sees this subconsciously as an end to his bloodline, the loss of a son to carry on his 'legacy', the loss of bonding they could have had dealing with girl problems together, and that boy becomes someone that could not possibly share any interests with him, based on stereotype. I feel like a mother is more accepting of these things because moms tend to have a stronger connection to their children than fathers too (in most situations; of course it depends on the family.)
But since fathers really do love their children, and Roxas's father really loves his child, he doesn't want to lose him. I imagine their relationship will be very strained, but his father will do his best despite how he feels.
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I totally agree with the whole "it's usually harder for the father thing" and, for like the millionth time, you're welcome for all the accolades.
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Thank you very much.
I look at it now and can see all the ways I could have written it better, but... haha, I'm too lazy. I quite like it anyway, and I'm glad you did too.
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Lol, I think that how anyone feel about anything they do.
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^^ well written, hun! Bit fast passed for a relationship, but this comes with one shots right? I think it would have made an excellent series, but it is still a great one shot. ^^
Defiantly worth reading twice <3 (and staying up well past my bed time for that matter xD)
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Thank you so much!
I did try to slow it down, but it had to be a oneshot for a contest I entered it in... I have been thinking of making it multi-chaptered on fanfiction.net.
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Thanks so much! Oh, and thank you for faving!
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Teehee, no problem! C:
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OMG it took forever to read! but, it was worth it. I LOVE IT!! XD
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Glee, *looks up at bright red letters* Hm... If I said you could change something, I'd go into further details, dragging a story out in times is better than cutting it up, but don't go overbaord and sit there writing four or five paragraphs on what something looks like. Go more ino teh characterazation, it helps to backtrack teh story in these instances...... *realizes she's off topic again* dammit.
sorry. I get a little carried away. I write alot , in many diffrent styles. So I've been all over teh board, reading and writing. It's my talent as well as drawing manga. *sweat*
I liked teh story, it's sad how some schools are actaully like that, parents to. oh and I love teh names. Keiji abd Hikari, I support japanese last names! Kaiji means Fire in an emergency situation, Hikari means Light. ^_^ I reseacrh alot. I like Honou (Flame) on Axel personally. ^_^ *slaps her own hand* SHUT UP! stop typing! Kay. NYEEH. I ramble too much.
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Haha, that's okay. I like to hear different advice from different people.
And I gave Axel the last name of Keiji because that's his Japanese voice actor's first name... it being so close to the word for "fire" is a neat coincidence. And yeah, that's why Roxas has the last name of Hikari.
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Go japanese last names! I din't know it was Keiji that's a new fun-fact. *dances* coolio. at least you didn't give Roxas McCartney.... I hate that. It bugs me. *twitches* so thank you for that. ^_^
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Yeah. Jesse McCartney lent his voice to Roxas, not his name. Keep it that way. Seriously. @_@
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I agree fully and completely. At least no one has gotten the bright idea to stick Flynn on Axel (that I've seen)
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Axel Flynn... that doesn't sound TOO bad.... I've heard worse.
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I don't care for it. XP It sounds funny to me... unaxelish. XD there's a word for the day.
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try this one- blaghenblurgleskurtch..... My friend would randomly blurt it out alot. o_x
I have alot of strange words (one of my usernames is squeeness_is_tastic [gaia] and or axel_tastic [kh-vids the only place I'm not beehive130]) but that one takes teh charts. *scribbles unaxelish on the list*
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This is a really good story, I like its message.To improve the flow, consider blending character descriptions into the story rather than chunking them at the beginning.
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...You're friends with Kaede, aren't you...?
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Haa, I thought so. Well, thanks for the comment.
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oooooooo can i have your ff account like? i would love to read more of your work, this is very good
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Yes, of course! Thanks very much! I'll even tell you which ones you might like more. Don't forget to review!!
My account is here: [link]
My best fanfic is called 'A Leap of Faith.' It is for Final Fantasy X-2. There's an in-progress sequel to it called 'One Step Forward.' I also have some KH-themed poetry there, but I wrote it before Kingdom Hearts II came out, so I'm going to be re-doing some of it. I'll be posting Lies Add Up there eventually.
Oh, and so you know, I'm working on a sequel to Lies Add Up called 'Subtract the Truth'
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ahh omgosh im so excited to read all of these! *gos to link*
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Wowza, you have a LOT of comments. But, hey, this deserves it. In all honesty. Like I said before, you handeled it very well, especially the different moods. Not many people are good at balancing the light and darkness, but you did very well.
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YAY! I'm so proud of you.
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