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Description
EDIT: It's amazing what a difference three years make. So much of what I was feeling at this time no longer applies to me. I'm glad to see that it's still helping others feel not so alone. I know it helped me to learn that people were feeling what I was feeling.

I'm always open to talk if anyone wants to. I want everyone that comes across this to know that everything gets better. What you may be feeling now is not going to be how you always feel. Always remember that this too shall pass.

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God, I hope this is readable. And what category should this go under?

This is my Shout It Out, started by

Incase it is unreadable, it says:
I wish I were thin.
I SI and I'm afraid someone will take that away from me.
I am Paranoid.
Sometime I want everyone to just GO AWAY.
I hate mirrors.
I have to run my fingers over wall, doors, and bannisters.
My family puts the "fun" in dysfunctional.
I don't play video games because I panic when my character dies.
I am awful at spelling.
I've thought about running away.
I'm miserable, but I laugh and joke about it so people don't see that I really mean it.
I really hate what America has become, but I would never hate the troops.
I wear black a lot. Not because I am depressed. Simply because I like it.
The thought of sex REPULSES me.
I'm a two-faced liar that CAN be trusted.
I only see the bad in people and it makes me angry when others see the good.
Real or fictional, I find it hot when boys kiss boys.
I want to punch pretty girls that call themselves ugly.
I get angry quite easily.
I think about death everyday.
My sister once asked if I was hurting myself. I said no. At the time, it was true.
Sometimes, I cry for no reason. I don't think my mother believes that.
I feel stupid when I cry in front of others.
I cry everytime I watch RENT.
I think I may be Bipolar, but I'm afraid to tell my mom.
I'm afraid of the dark.
Two people that inspire me killed themselves.
I feel really fat when I eat around others. So I don't do it anymore.
I love Yaoi.
I count tiles and bricks. It hurts if I don't. Thank you OCD.
I am incapable of talking to guys.
I have an irrational fear of zombies.
I want someone to love me, but I don't know if I could love back.
Social situations make me physically sick.
If there is a God, I think I hate him.
I sometimes question if I jumped into atheism.
I'm jealous that my sister is pretty and I'm not.
I don't like when people tell me I'm pretty. Even though it's only happened once.
I tell others that I hate people, but I cry over human suffering.
AIDS scares me.
I'll meet you in hell.
I talk about others behind their backs, but I hate when they do it to me.
I don't like seeing doctors because they have to touch you. I hate to be touched.
I'm usually up until 3:30 AM whether I went to bed earlier or not.
I've checked in on my mom and my sister while they were sleeping, just to make sure they were still breathing.
I don't wear makeup because I know it doesn't make me any prettier.
I started writing poetry in middle school to fit in with my new "depressed" friends before I realized that I was truly passionate about it.
I hate kids.
"That time of the month" has never come for me. Not that I'm complaining.
I bite my fingernails and the skin around them.
I find offensive jokes funny.
If I ask for a hug, I want a hug. If I didn't, don't touch me. Also, don't touch me in any other way.
I have low self esteem because I don't believe it when people say I'm good at anything.
I never thought injury was an addiction. Then I became an injurer. Now I know.
I tried so hard to be like my sister and my friends that I didn't begin to learn who I was until my sophmore year of high school.
I'm a compulsive liar. I'm trying to stop.
The girliest thing about me is I like shoes. A lot.
"Love is an illusion, but I would willingly fall for it if I could believe in it."-Sylvia Plath. If "love" is what happy people have, I'd kill for just one taste of it.
It pisses me off when my peers claim they're in "love".
I pretend it doesn't bother me, but I'm jealous of those in love.
I feel like a failure because I'm 17 and I've never had a boyfriend.
I can't sleep without some kind of noise in the background.
I'm afraid of being raped.
I think I frighten my mother because I have a pretty big knowledge of serial killers.
To Write Love On Her Arms is beautiful.
I am extremely shy.
I hate new age "goths" and "emos". Depression isn't cool. Cutting isn't funny. Learn what a real problem is before you pretend you have one. I did.
I'm afraid someone is going to bring a gun to school.
Only one person has ever asked if I was ok. And when I had the chance to say I wasn't, I still said I was fine.
I think my mother's trying to but my love. She doesn't need to.
I feel as though they treat me like I'm stupid.
2 + 2 might as well = 5. I'm awful at math.
I'm pro-choice. NOT pro-abortion.
I used to want to be popular. I'm ok with being the outcast girl now.
I wouldn't mind a broken heart. It would mean I at least had SOMEONE at some point in time. <3
I'm a Harry Potter nerd.
I quit choir because my teacher played favorites and always made me feel like I was second best to my sister.
I want to reconnect with her terribly.
I like horror movies.
I pushed a lot of my friends away in the past year. I thought they were leaving me until I realized it was my fault.
I feel kinda pretty when I sing, even though I'm terrible at it.
I'm not depressed. I'm just unhappy.
I hate myself sometimes. But doesn't everybody?
I think the world would be better off without religion.
I've really started to hate America. I blame it on our President.
I get bored easily. Notice that this is getting less and less cramped?
I think Asian guys are hot. And nerdy guys.
Blood is interesting. Other body fluids are extremely gross.
I love my kitty so much.
I used to feel guilty about hurting others before I realized they didn't feel guilty about hurting me.
I started hating ICP because they insulted Kurt Cobain. I continue to hate them because they make shit music.
I wish I could be good at art.
Clowns, small spaces, and heights freak me out quite a bit.
I think guys that can dance are very hot.
I've questioned my sexuality.
I am attracted to both Amanda and Brian of the Dresden Dolls.
I masturbate.
Why on Earth would anyone practice self destruction? You'd be surprised
I'm half Jack & half Jill.
I disliked my father, but it kills me he's gone.
I saw him die, and now I see it everyday.
I can see the thestrals now.
Thank you so much for starting this Liliy. I feel so much better now.

Description
EDIT: It's amazing what a difference three years make. So much of what I was feeling at this time no longer applies to me. I'm glad to see that it's still helping others feel not so alone. I know it helped me to learn that people were feeling what I was feeling.

I'm always open to talk if anyone wants to. I want everyone that comes across this to know that everything gets better. What you may be feeling now is not going to be how you always feel. Always remember that this too shall pass.

----------

God, I hope this is readable. And what category should this go under?

This is my Shout It Out, started by

Incase it is unreadable, it says:
I wish I were thin.
I SI and I'm afraid someone will take that away from me.
I am Paranoid.
Sometime I want everyone to just GO AWAY.
I hate mirrors.
I have to run my fingers over wall, doors, and bannisters.
My family puts the "fun" in dysfunctional.
I don't play video games because I panic when my character dies.
I am awful at spelling.
I've thought about running away.
I'm miserable, but I laugh and joke about it so people don't see that I really mean it.
I really hate what America has become, but I would never hate the troops.
I wear black a lot. Not because I am depressed. Simply because I like it.
The thought of sex REPULSES me.
I'm a two-faced liar that CAN be trusted.
I only see the bad in people and it makes me angry when others see the good.
Real or fictional, I find it hot when boys kiss boys.
I want to punch pretty girls that call themselves ugly.
I get angry quite easily.
I think about death everyday.
My sister once asked if I was hurting myself. I said no. At the time, it was true.
Sometimes, I cry for no reason. I don't think my mother believes that.
I feel stupid when I cry in front of others.
I cry everytime I watch RENT.
I think I may be Bipolar, but I'm afraid to tell my mom.
I'm afraid of the dark.
Two people that inspire me killed themselves.
I feel really fat when I eat around others. So I don't do it anymore.
I love Yaoi.
I count tiles and bricks. It hurts if I don't. Thank you OCD.
I am incapable of talking to guys.
I have an irrational fear of zombies.
I want someone to love me, but I don't know if I could love back.
Social situations make me physically sick.
If there is a God, I think I hate him.
I sometimes question if I jumped into atheism.
I'm jealous that my sister is pretty and I'm not.
I don't like when people tell me I'm pretty. Even though it's only happened once.
I tell others that I hate people, but I cry over human suffering.
AIDS scares me.
I'll meet you in hell.
I talk about others behind their backs, but I hate when they do it to me.
I don't like seeing doctors because they have to touch you. I hate to be touched.
I'm usually up until 3:30 AM whether I went to bed earlier or not.
I've checked in on my mom and my sister while they were sleeping, just to make sure they were still breathing.
I don't wear makeup because I know it doesn't make me any prettier.
I started writing poetry in middle school to fit in with my new "depressed" friends before I realized that I was truly passionate about it.
I hate kids.
"That time of the month" has never come for me. Not that I'm complaining.
I bite my fingernails and the skin around them.
I find offensive jokes funny.
If I ask for a hug, I want a hug. If I didn't, don't touch me. Also, don't touch me in any other way.
I have low self esteem because I don't believe it when people say I'm good at anything.
I never thought injury was an addiction. Then I became an injurer. Now I know.
I tried so hard to be like my sister and my friends that I didn't begin to learn who I was until my sophmore year of high school.
I'm a compulsive liar. I'm trying to stop.
The girliest thing about me is I like shoes. A lot.
"Love is an illusion, but I would willingly fall for it if I could believe in it."-Sylvia Plath. If "love" is what happy people have, I'd kill for just one taste of it.
It pisses me off when my peers claim they're in "love".
I pretend it doesn't bother me, but I'm jealous of those in love.
I feel like a failure because I'm 17 and I've never had a boyfriend.
I can't sleep without some kind of noise in the background.
I'm afraid of being raped.
I think I frighten my mother because I have a pretty big knowledge of serial killers.
To Write Love On Her Arms is beautiful.
I am extremely shy.
I hate new age "goths" and "emos". Depression isn't cool. Cutting isn't funny. Learn what a real problem is before you pretend you have one. I did.
I'm afraid someone is going to bring a gun to school.
Only one person has ever asked if I was ok. And when I had the chance to say I wasn't, I still said I was fine.
I think my mother's trying to but my love. She doesn't need to.
I feel as though they treat me like I'm stupid.
2 + 2 might as well = 5. I'm awful at math.
I'm pro-choice. NOT pro-abortion.
I used to want to be popular. I'm ok with being the outcast girl now.
I wouldn't mind a broken heart. It would mean I at least had SOMEONE at some point in time. <3
I'm a Harry Potter nerd.
I quit choir because my teacher played favorites and always made me feel like I was second best to my sister.
I want to reconnect with her terribly.
I like horror movies.
I pushed a lot of my friends away in the past year. I thought they were leaving me until I realized it was my fault.
I feel kinda pretty when I sing, even though I'm terrible at it.
I'm not depressed. I'm just unhappy.
I hate myself sometimes. But doesn't everybody?
I think the world would be better off without religion.
I've really started to hate America. I blame it on our President.
I get bored easily. Notice that this is getting less and less cramped?
I think Asian guys are hot. And nerdy guys.
Blood is interesting. Other body fluids are extremely gross.
I love my kitty so much.
I used to feel guilty about hurting others before I realized they didn't feel guilty about hurting me.
I started hating ICP because they insulted Kurt Cobain. I continue to hate them because they make shit music.
I wish I could be good at art.
Clowns, small spaces, and heights freak me out quite a bit.
I think guys that can dance are very hot.
I've questioned my sexuality.
I am attracted to both Amanda and Brian of the Dresden Dolls.
I masturbate.
Why on Earth would anyone practice self destruction? You'd be surprised
I'm half Jack & half Jill.
I disliked my father, but it kills me he's gone.
I saw him die, and now I see it everyday.
I can see the thestrals now.
Thank you so much for starting this Liliy. I feel so much better now.