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Djoseph — January haiku 2013
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Published: 2013-03-03 21:47:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 486; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description
1new years morning
the smell of gunpowder
lingers still
2
absent
she left her heat
and scent
3
joyous sounds
spoiling my morning sleep
fucking pigeons!
4
Swedish Original:
en svartvit värld
sedd från tågfönstret
innan gryningen
a monochrome world
seen from the train window
before dawn
5
afterwards
bare feet in the snow
cooling down
6
something left
in an awful hurry
branch still swinging
7
setting sun
father asks about my studies
for the fourth time
8
Caliciviridae
i flush
a Jackson Pollock
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Comments: 11
That gives me an idea for an alarm clock...
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I like number 2 but it's interesting how it is , for me, a natural follow on from the first one.
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Thank you for your comment! I feel like I would like to work more on doing sets where the pieces connect stronger than they usually do. I'm not sure I feel there is a natural connection between 1 and 2. At least I never thought so while writing them. They were written weeks apart. But it's good to hear what a fresh eye can see.
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I saw 1 and 2 as an extended metaphor comparing the fire and heat of gunpowder and that left by lovemaking in the morning after the night before of both activities.
I can never remember the name but a poet was asked if he meant such and such a thing when he wrote a certain poem. He replied 'Yes, if you thought so'.
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Glad you liked it. Actually my least favorite of the whole bunch, but that's what's so nice about other people reading your material. You always have different perspectives on things.
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