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DollFacedKiller — Running In Heels
Published: 2009-03-16 22:56:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 135; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description I'm set to self destruct
stand back or watch me blow up.
I'm pounding on the door,
yelling "what the fuck do I do this for"?
Why is on my lips.
Pain is in my heart.
My fingers are in my throat.
The guilt is on my mind.
My actions rock the boat,
the boat I call my life.

I fail to see the good
right before my eyes, why isn't it enough?
I'm a stupid self destructive girl
blowing up my life, destroying my world.
I listen to the voices
distinguish them from just noises.
I pay too much attention
to the bad within my head.
I take advantage
of my own weakness, fear and dread.

I'm running in heels,
missing out meals,
binging on horror,
fearing tomorrow.
I'm Helen, mother of two, loving fiance.
Unkind to myself,
love and honor everyone else,
fear, loathe and neglect myself.

Monday 16th March 2009
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Comments: 10

deathsdefiance [2010-04-10 09:55:58 +0000 UTC]

very powerful, i can't word it but you know what i'd say, how differently do you feel in regards to this now just over a year later? fuckin love you xxx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DollFacedKiller In reply to deathsdefiance [2010-04-10 15:45:41 +0000 UTC]

You of all people know how differently I feel now baby Its about control but I know now that I'll never have full control of most things....and thats ok cos I have got you I never EVER thought I'd be able to have a healthy relationship with food. Its amazing to say I SOOOOO DO Fucking love you xxxxxxx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

artcreep87 [2009-04-15 17:33:53 +0000 UTC]

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

Think of everything you might loose if you do? The people you are affecting the most? Think of your boys yes?!!!!
-hugggge hugs-

Love you hunmy buns, please dont go back there again

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DollFacedKiller In reply to artcreep87 [2009-04-16 20:31:05 +0000 UTC]

I'll never get over it.....but working on how to deal with it. Slowly getting there xxx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

artcreep87 In reply to DollFacedKiller [2009-04-20 14:48:07 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, well as long as you dont let it pull you down again!!!
<3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MasqueradeMe [2009-03-17 03:03:15 +0000 UTC]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Babe!!! whats going on?!?!?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DollFacedKiller In reply to MasqueradeMe [2009-03-17 15:06:49 +0000 UTC]

Everything is up in the air right now.....it feels like EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong, has indeed gone wrong

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasqueradeMe In reply to DollFacedKiller [2009-03-17 15:56:04 +0000 UTC]

Aww babe, take a couple deep breaths. I know how hard it is to stop, and how easy it is to start again. But you have two wonder wonderful boys that are looking up to you right now, plus your fiance loves you, and cares. If you need something please please just let me know, even if it's just someone to talk to

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DollFacedKiller In reply to MasqueradeMe [2009-03-17 18:30:40 +0000 UTC]

Thanks hunni.....you ROCK xxx

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasqueradeMe In reply to DollFacedKiller [2009-03-19 20:45:12 +0000 UTC]

I try my love I try

👍: 0 ⏩: 0