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doorfromheaven — This Is Who I Am
by-nc-nd
Published: 2007-10-03 14:49:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 866; Favourites: 29; Downloads: 1
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Description
This is who I am—I can’t change. I’ve tried—I’m the girl who laughs too loud
With the jeans that will never fit quite right
Baggy because she’s ashamed of how she looks.
Yet she has no problems walking around in pajamas that went out of style last year.
This is who I am—I’ll never have the gorgeous hair
It’s always in disarray—a mess she doesn’t know what to do with.
Looks like she always just rolled out of bed and stepped out into the world
Smelling like vanilla and conditioner.
And she’ll smile at you so you don’t see the embarrassing flush that enters her cheeks.
This is who I am—I’ll never be able to compete
Against the other beauty queens who can so seemingly capture a heart.
And yet you try to convince me I’m beautiful—but I’m slow to believe
Because when I look in the mirror
It’s never beauty that I see.
This is who I am—a wanna-be poet trying to make it in the world of unlocked talent
This is who I am—afraid of opening up and allowing things to roll off her back
She won’t tell you when she’s hurting inside. Oh no…you’ll never know
When she really just wants to break down and cry
I’m not like that.
This is who I am—just wanting you to be happy. Just wanting you to be free
This is who I am—not wanting to burden you with my misery.
It’s not your fault. It’s entirely mine and my view of the world
Don’t want to hurt you or anyone. Not anymore.
I just wish I could be what you want me to be.
But I know I can’t…
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Comments: 87
This is beautiful. It's very powerful, and I can relate. I know that there are parts where you say that you're not perfect but in a way you're telling everyone that even though you've got flaws, there are still good things about you. I like how ti goes from how the general public views you and how you want to be viewed by a certain person. It's awesome. Great job!
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Wow, thank you so much. I am glad you found it easy to relate to. Whoo hoo! We're not alone, go us. lol But yeah...
I kinda ranted when I was writing it sooo...
^^
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Well since you ranted it, it came across being very raw and honest. That's always cool in writing!
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I cant comment til the competition ends but thanks for entering and good luck
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hahahaha that's fine. ^^ I understand. lol
Anytime.
Like I said...it's an awesome idea.
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Don't be sorry! It's really good.
You just need to realize that you ARE beautiful. Your personality makes you beautiful.
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LMAO...yes, my personality. It's like that conversation all over again....lol
But thank you!
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you don't have to be anything more than who you already are you see. because in reading this lovely poem, in writing these words you have revealed an inner beauty. truly. talented and beutiful are you.
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Wow...
Thank you so much. That really is quite thoughtful and...wow. Thanks..-blushes-
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It's like you stole my subconscious thoughts and slapped them on a piece of paper.
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-shifty eyes- maybe, i did...maybe I did...
or maybe more people feel this way...
when all this time we thought we were alone.
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That's probably true. People don't talk about their true feelings often.
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Thank you...-snugs-
I love you. ^^
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No need to thank me, I love you too.
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Psh...but what if I want to thank you? ^^
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You can, I guess. XD
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muahahahaha YAY! -has mad thanking power skills-
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-purrs and snugs up against- ^^
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Hey... be proud of who you are :] Be proud that you don't wear makeup like crazy to look like plastic :] Be proud that your hair is free from sticky substances... and be proud that you stand out in a crowd, rather than blend in ^-^ Be proud of who you are, don't let other people shape who they want you to be... its better to be yourself.
...and this is very beautifully written ^-^ At first, I thought it was you being proud of yourself... :huggles: YOU SHOULD BE!!!! ^-^
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Hmmm...yeah you're right. I just feel yunno...not enough sometimes. Like...what do I have to offer? What does make me different? Just...blargh. I'll be okay.....<
Awwwah, thank you so much...-snugs-
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ah, yeah... everyone has that moment sometimes. 
your welcome!!! ^-^
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yeah I am fine...I'm good...great...dandy! this is me...being dandy. lol
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>.> 
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That is... very sad. I wish you had more self-confidence. You may not have 'gorgeous hair' in the sense that it's not styled and permed to within an inch of its' life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't look great! You really are quite cute.
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yeah...it's...very, very slowly. it just...I don't know. Maybe someday...Maybe someday.
Thank you, David...
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I can hope. I hope that I am around to see you...
Of course, angel...
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Awwwwah....yeah we both might be dead before that happens. lmao
^^
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Nono, I mean that I just hope that, y'know, we're still in contact and the like. It won't be that long.
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Awwwwah...I think we will be. o.O
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In contact? I certainly hope so
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I definitely know so!
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:hugs tightly: definitely ^-^
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o-O thats just scary, apparently we have more then just are names and age incomman... this reminded me to much of myself but its ok
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Whoa, that is creepy...see I told ya...we are twins. Lol Awwwah but it makes me sad that you feel the same way and all...you're awesome.
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Awwwwah....fweeee!!! 
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Completely AMAZING. i can't say it or even stress this enough. but the emtion was deep the flow was perfect. it's like the world should read this. they should.
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-blinks-
-stares in awe-
Wow. I really was not expecting this sort of feedback. Really. o.O I am in shock. Thank you so much.
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awe. =] you're welcome.
-shakes you- you okay?
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there's nothing wrong with sad pieces, you don't have to apologize for what comes out of you, this is good, i like how you put out who you are, its truth, and that's hard to come by
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Awwwwah, thank you so much.
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So this is who you are. And it seems you are the only one not content with it. Understanding what others see in you comes from accepting who you are yourself. And unfortunately, that doesn't happen one-two-three.
There are lots of reasons not to be content with oneself and it's easy to think in a negative way. It's much harder to make a stand and love the way you are.
So, are you really discontent? If so, are you working on those things you don't like? If not, you don't have a right to speak about it.
You are here now, and nothing can change that. But you can change the way you see yourself. And although it needs to come from you yourself and yourself alone, it maybe will become easier if you see how many love you for who you are.
I know that there is a certain someone who does and yes, he is your boyfriend. He is the ultimate proof.
But if you need confirmation or just a smile: I like the way you are, I like who you are, and I think you are amongst the greatest poets I will ever read work from.
Without you, this world would be a darker.
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-nods- Nah, there are a lot of people that get annoy with the way I am. I just get frustrated because the way I feel isn't always reflected by what I see...and I just feel like I am letting people down. Or that I am just...a nobody. Like what purpose do I have? do I have a purpose? What makes me think I stand a chance?
I can think positively. It used to be worse. >.> Trust me. It was a lot worse. But I allowed myself to become brainwashed into thinking I am not good enough...
But I am trying...it just gets hard sometimes. It's easy to slide back down a slippery slope than it is to walk up it.
I know there are many people who love me for who I am...but I just can't see what they see...I have a tendency to feel they would be better off without me.
But thank you, your words strike deep...
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As I'm talking from experience, I know these periods you have. But then, a single moment can
forget my troubles just as easily.
When the sun breaks and warms my face, when I look across the street and smile to you,
when a cat comes up to me just to be petted, to get a text message on my phone from
a friend asking how I'm doing, it's those things that make the day a little brighter.
Please remember that those moments are much more important than feeling sorry for yourself
and that you have every right to be here.
You'll get there, of that I have no doubt. But don't hecitate asking for help. That's what friends are for, and I think you have many true friends. And these actually care when you talk about it, so don't close up. Help is there to be taken advantage of.
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