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dpak — Excercise 4.6 [NSFW]
Published: 2008-10-04 18:13:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 57; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description Dark buildings loomed around him, cold, unforgiving, giving no love or comfort to his waning spirit. Warm light leaked from an apartment across the way. A loving couple snuggled together on their couch. Resentful, jealous, he looked away.

To the left, grey skies and bleak fields of concrete; to the right, those hideous giants that stood poised for his demise, urging him on. He dared not look down, not yet; he would teeter, panic, not follow through if he did.

Chin up now. Cold rain stung his weary eyes. He was drenched to the bone, freezing, trembling… wishing the rain could wash away his run of bad luck. It offered no sympathy, no comfort. He gulped, sticking his foot over the edge with hesitation. There was nothing there, much like his bank account after he lost the lawsuit.

It wouldn’t take much now. Only ten stories, less than a minute away from liberation.

Leaning forward now.


                               Falling into nothing.


                                                         Falling into freedom.

He smiled into the open arms of the sidewalk.
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Comments: 15

Kira73 [2008-10-05 01:02:42 +0000 UTC]

I loved this piece.

Although I don't condone suicide, I like how you gave a reason for it as well as shared his apprehensions about it.

Well done!

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dpak In reply to Kira73 [2008-10-05 02:41:51 +0000 UTC]

I don't condone it either, but I will admit that this was rather easy for me to write as I slip into suicidal thoughts whenever I go into one of my depression phases. Though jumping off a building is a bit much for me. <_<

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Kira73 In reply to dpak [2008-10-05 13:48:45 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I'm too much of a chicken for that too.

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Monogurui-hime [2008-10-04 19:42:49 +0000 UTC]

... I call it depressing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dpak In reply to Monogurui-hime [2008-10-05 02:47:50 +0000 UTC]

Aww.... And here I wanted to call it "SUPAH HAPPEH FUN TIEM.... WITH SPARKLES OF HOPE AND RAINBOWS OF LOVE".

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Monogurui-hime In reply to dpak [2008-10-05 03:19:48 +0000 UTC]

LOL.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dpak In reply to Monogurui-hime [2008-10-05 03:29:53 +0000 UTC]

....We need to use that title for something.

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Monogurui-hime In reply to dpak [2008-10-05 06:35:26 +0000 UTC]

Eventually.

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dpak In reply to Monogurui-hime [2008-10-05 16:13:48 +0000 UTC]

At some point in time...

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Monogurui-hime In reply to dpak [2008-10-05 21:02:24 +0000 UTC]

...I feel as though we've had this conversation before...

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dpak In reply to Monogurui-hime [2008-10-06 01:31:46 +0000 UTC]

We probably have... >_>

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Monogurui-hime In reply to dpak [2008-10-06 01:40:30 +0000 UTC]

<_< We repeat a lot of conversations.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dpak In reply to Monogurui-hime [2008-10-06 01:50:57 +0000 UTC]

Indeed we do. >_>

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Monogurui-hime In reply to dpak [2008-10-06 01:53:43 +0000 UTC]

<_< A lot.

...

... We're stupid.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dpak In reply to Monogurui-hime [2008-10-06 02:23:15 +0000 UTC]

Yes. Yes we are.

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