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Kaijualpha1 [2013-03-23 13:35:43 +0000 UTC]

Smaug: Well, thief. I smell you. Feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along, help yourself again. There's plenty and to spare.
Bilbo: Um, thank you for the offer, oh mighty um, one. That really won't be necessary.
Smaug: Is that so? In that case... WHY are you here?
Bilbo: I merely came to take a good look at you, oh Smaug, greatest of calamities!
Smaug: Oh?
Bilbo: Yes, and seeing you now, the stories I have heard of you fail to capture the true magnificence of you! Smaug the Golden! Smaug the Destroyer! Smaug the Magnificent. Smaug! Chieftest and Greatest of Calamities.
Smaug: You have nice manners for a thief... and a liar. Who are you? You seem to know my name. But I don't remember your scent. What is your name and where do you come from?
Bilbo: (to himself) My name. Need to come up with a good name.
Smaug: I'm waiting, Thief. Or should I just call you that instead?
Bilbo: Barrel-Rider!
Smaug: What?
Bilbo: That's my name! I am called Barrel-Rider! Barrel-Rider is me! I come from under and over the hills my paths led. And through the air. I am he who walks unseen. I am the clue finder, the stinging fly, I am chosen for the lucky number.
Smaug: Lovely titles. But, sadly, lucky numbers don't always come off.
Bilbo: I am he who buried his friends, drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of the bag but no bag went over me.
Smaug: (sarcastically) Not very credible if you ask me.
Bilbo: Hold on, I'm not yet finished. I am the friend of bears, the guest of eagles I am the Ring and Luckwearer. I am all those things. And Barrel-Rider is my name.
Smaug: Hmm. Better... But don't let your imagination get the better of you. (laughs softly to himself) Well then, Barrel-Rider, I assume Barrel was the name of your horse. A nice fat horse. You may walk unseen, but you do not walk all the way. I devoured six horses last night and I intend to hunt and devour the rest in time. As a reward for the fine meal you presented to me, allow me to offer you some advice: don't have more to do with dwarves than you can help.
Bilbo: Dwarves? Whatever do you mean?
Smaug: (scoffs) Don't pretend to not know what I am speaking of. I am all too familiar with the smell of dwarves. (to himself) And their taste. You'll come to a bad end if you associate yourself with their kind, Thief Barrel-Rider.
I suppose they were the ones who sent you to retrieve that cup. In fact, I guarantee they're outside, skulking by the entrance. Your job is very dangerous work, little thief. You can get all you can, when I am not hunting for them. You honestly think you'll get an equal share? Don't believe it. You'll be lucky if you make it out alive.
Bilbo: I also forgot to mention something, Mighty one.
Smaug: (getting impatient) What? Speak up!
Bilbo: It wasn't just gold that brought us here.
Smaug: What else brought you here then?
Bilbo: (quietly) Revenge.
Smaug: What?
Bilbo: (a little bit louder) Revenge.
Smaug: Speak up or I will burn you where you stand.
Bilbo: (shouting) REVENGE!
Smaug: Revenge you say?
Bilbo: Surely you didn't think your success would draw to you some bitter enemies. Gold was merely an afterthought, oh Wealthy one.
Smaug: Revenge. Ha. Hahahaha. HahahaHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Revenge!? From the likes of you!? HAHAHAHAHAHA! The King under the Mountain is dead and where are his kin that dare seek revenge? The mighty Girion Lord of Dale is dead and I have eaten his people as a wolf eats sheep and I do not see his sons who dare seek revenge as well? I am SMAUG! I kill where I wish and none dare resist. I have laid low warriors of old and their like is not in the world today. Then I was young and tender. Now I am strong. Strong. STROOONG! Thief in the Shadows! My armor is like ten-fold shields. My teeth are like swords. My claws... spears! The shock of my tail... a thunderbolt! My wings... a hurricane! And my breath... DEATH!


This is what I think their dialogue will go. Note how I mixed the dialogue from the book, the Rankin-Bass Film and the Peter Jackson film.

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RyantheLionKing [2013-03-20 02:41:43 +0000 UTC]

"I have always understood that Dragons were softer...underneath...vulnerable, especially in the region of the chest."

"Your information is antiquated. I am armoured all over, both above...and below."

"Well, I don't know about that."

"You don't know about that? I...SHALL...SHOW YOU! Look...what do you say to this? Rare and wonderful, huh?"

"Dazzling...marvelous....perfect....flawless....staggering....magnificent!"

"No blade can cut me...nor arrow pierce me.""

"Old fool. There's an empty patch in the hollow of your left breast as bare as a snail out of its shell."

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ChipmunkRaccoonOz [2013-03-20 01:41:40 +0000 UTC]

Smaug: "Revenge? You? HAH! I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong! Strong! STRONG!!! My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!"

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Dragonfire810 [2013-03-20 01:40:14 +0000 UTC]

do you love it?

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