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The sound of the ambulance barley floods my ears. The sirens wail constantly like an alarm clock, telling me to get up. I try to sit up, but moving my head hurts; I try to move my arms, but I can't feel them; I try to open my eyes, but even if I did I couldn't tell, everything was pitch black.

Am I dead? No, I can't be. What had happened, though. All I saw was a red light ahead, and then...nothing. "I'm not dead! I'm not dead! My heart, focus on my heart!" If I can hear my heart I know I'm alive."

I tried to focus, the Ambulance still wailed loudly in my ears, and I couldn't hear my heart beat. It has to be there! It has too! Then I found it, the steady beat that I could just make out over the crying ambulance. Thump, thump, thump, thump. Music to my ears… I'm ok, I'll be ok. Just focus on my heart.

My heart thumped, the steady beat gave my comfort, telling me that blood is still flowing, my heart is not giving up on me, and it never will. I listened, and listened to my heart for what seemed like an eternity, and that's when I noticed that the ambulance wails were fading. Not as in they were leaving, but as in the noise was starting to get softer.

No! No! I'm dying! No, my heart! Is it still beating? I had lost it in that split moment. I tried hard to single out the faint thumps, but just as I had, they seemed to be fading too!

No! The beats were still steady, but I was having a hard time hearing them, they began to fade; softer and softer and ever so softer. I tried to cling to it, to give me that last feeling of comfort. I tried to force my eyes open, move my arms, my legs, and even shout; but the effort made me lose my heartbeat quicker.

No... No... I'm no...not dying.... But even trying to reassure myself wasn't enough. Soon, I could think of anything, and shortly thereafter my heart stopped beating.

It's been more than a year since I had seen people around my age, gone to school, or even left my own house. Do I still remember my friends? There was...Ethan and...Julie and...oh....Ava..... AVA! I must never forget her! If I forget her than the chances of me ever finding a solution to my problem are just as good as dead! Ava...oh, her bouncy Curley hair, soft and the color of rich chocolate. Her eyes are the most beautiful shade of brown, the keepers of kindness and joy. Her smile; her pearly white teeth; her personality and her level of smarts. The girl of my dreams, I swear to never forget her.

"Jack Anders," that was a nurse calling. Yeah, I'm in a hospital's waiting room, waiting to have a check up on my heart. It's got a terrible disease whose name I can never think of off the top of my head, and it makes me at risk for heart attacks.

My mom got up and pushed my wheelchair in. Never in my life had I seen her so....broken. Her stick straight blonde hair had become gray in a matter of months; her bright green eyes had become glassy as if they would shatter if she ever cried a single tear. Her beautiful rosy, smooth skin became wrinkly and colorless. She was taking my heart disease worse than anyone.

"Please come this way ma'am," the nurse motioned her hand to the right and we followed her down the hall. This appointment was only a weekly checkup, the doctors are becoming so worried about me and how I will manage. I've been on the list for a heart transplant for almost a year now, and I don't want to know how much longer I can take before something really bad happens.

My mom wheeled me in to the room where I usually get my checkup done, there my doctor, Dr. Darken, was sitting at his desk looking at a pile of papers, probably mine.

"Hello Jacky! How ya doin'?" He greeted. His was a rather nice man. He had no hair on his head at all, except for eyebrows, and he wasn't even an old doctor like I first imagined; he was really in his early thirties.

"Ok," I said, although I didn't really feel that way. My heart seems to determine how I'm feeling now, and most of the time that pretty bad.

'Well then, let's get started, let me listen."

He always started like that; he'd listen to my heart. He had first told me that one of the reasons why it was bad is because it had an irregular heartbeat. I tried listening to it one day but I couldn't really hear a difference. In all honesties, I think my heart is very good, the really bad chest pains and me fainting sometimes always proves me wrong.

"That sounds a little better today, still irregular but better," he wrote some notes done on his piece of paper.

"We'll, I've got some news for the both you." He said

My mother looked up after starring at the floor. "What is it doctor?"

He smiled, "Well.....we have a heart!"

My eyes widen.

"A heart? A heart?! A heart!" My mother cheered.

"Yes. We just got the news last night. Your donors heart is from a 16 year old girl; your age, right Jacky? And here in San Francisco actually. She has the same blood type and structure of your heart, but of course in a healthy way."

I couldn't believe it. A heart! A heart! A heart for me! I will be able to walk again! Go places! See everyone that I missed! See.....Ava again!

"When is the transplant?!" my mother exclaimed.

"The heart should be in tomorrow, and we'll schedule the transplant for the day after," he said. "Does that work?"

"Oh yes! Yes of course!" I could swear that twenty years from my mother’s face just vanished in this happy moment. It was the first time I had seen her happy in months.

"Great!" He wrote down more notes on his paper, "Alright then Jacky. We'll see you in a couple of days."

He walked us down the hallway, and left us with a doctor’s note at the entrance to the door. Then he said his goodbyes and walked back inside.

When we got home, I wanted to dance! It was one of the greatest piece of news I had ever gotten. I will have a heart again! I will have happiness again! I will have a life again!

That night, mom made me my favorite: Chicken salad with a side of cucumbers and carrots. My mom never makes this for me often as it is threatening to my condition. Don't get me wrong, this isn't dangerous; but if I have it too often, I could have a heart attack.

After I finished my diner, I hurried to get to my room, pushing my wheelchair frantically, and almost bumping into the walls. I was glad my house had only one floor, it wasn't a small house, it just wasn't tall. Me being on one floor helps make things easier for me when it comes to movement, not having to worry about stairs and all.

Once I'm in my room, I remove myself from my wheelchair and set myself at my desk and start doodling; it was something that kept me busy and made me think about other things. I wasn't so good at it when I first started, but when you've had nothing to do for a year, you'd be amazed how good I had managed to teach myself. I wasn't drawing anything in particular, i normally let my hand wander off into a land of doodles while my mind wanders, never really caring what came out on the paper; but after a while, I looked down and realized that I was drawing a portrait of Ava.

I stopped drawing and stared at the picture, admiring it; Ava....I've known her for years, as long as I can remember actually. I've always liked her in a way that I've never felt before. She was pretty, although she always denied it, but in a different way; she never put make-up one, no matter what, so she always showed her natural beauty; she tied her hair back firmly to prevent it from getting in her eyes, but I've always liked the way she would brush it back behind her ears whenever it got in her face; she had a sweet but bright smile, one that emitted happiness and joy whenever she was happy; her laugh was spritely and seemed to echo around the room whenever she let it go; she was amazingly smart, like me, but she always enjoyed a little competition with me every once in a while. I roll my eyes as I recall all those times when I proved her wrong or she proved me wrong, or we would work together on a problem and figure it out together....I always liked the way her eyes sparkled with delight when she had finally figured it out, and how she smiled at me with joy...

I sigh dreamily as I think of all these things about her, in all honesties, these were the reasons why I was able to wait an entire year, maybe even more, without going completely nuts; every time I thought about her, I would imagine her being with me, telling me that I could do it, I could get through it....I remember the time she broke her leg, and how she had stayed home for several months because she couldn't handle being around so many people and moving around so much. She was in my math class that year, and every day, she would call on FaceTime to do her lessons; I would always answer it, and see her in her room, smiling back at me through the screen, but I could see it in her eyes that she was having trouble being at home for so long....I know how she felt....but she got through it....just like I'm gonna get through it.

I smile at the portrait, pleased with the result, and I get up from my desk and make my way over to my bed, pinning it above my head.

"I'll be back in no time...." I promised the lifeless drawing; and with that, I gently lied down in my bed, took my pills for the night, and drifted off to sleep.

Description
The sound of the ambulance barley floods my ears. The sirens wail constantly like an alarm clock, telling me to get up. I try to sit up, but moving my head hurts; I try to move my arms, but I can't feel them; I try to open my eyes, but even if I did I couldn't tell, everything was pitch black.

Am I dead? No, I can't be. What had happened, though. All I saw was a red light ahead, and then...nothing. "I'm not dead! I'm not dead! My heart, focus on my heart!" If I can hear my heart I know I'm alive."

I tried to focus, the Ambulance still wailed loudly in my ears, and I couldn't hear my heart beat. It has to be there! It has too! Then I found it, the steady beat that I could just make out over the crying ambulance. Thump, thump, thump, thump. Music to my ears… I'm ok, I'll be ok. Just focus on my heart.

My heart thumped, the steady beat gave my comfort, telling me that blood is still flowing, my heart is not giving up on me, and it never will. I listened, and listened to my heart for what seemed like an eternity, and that's when I noticed that the ambulance wails were fading. Not as in they were leaving, but as in the noise was starting to get softer.

No! No! I'm dying! No, my heart! Is it still beating? I had lost it in that split moment. I tried hard to single out the faint thumps, but just as I had, they seemed to be fading too!

No! The beats were still steady, but I was having a hard time hearing them, they began to fade; softer and softer and ever so softer. I tried to cling to it, to give me that last feeling of comfort. I tried to force my eyes open, move my arms, my legs, and even shout; but the effort made me lose my heartbeat quicker.

No... No... I'm no...not dying.... But even trying to reassure myself wasn't enough. Soon, I could think of anything, and shortly thereafter my heart stopped beating.

It's been more than a year since I had seen people around my age, gone to school, or even left my own house. Do I still remember my friends? There was...Ethan and...Julie and...oh....Ava..... AVA! I must never forget her! If I forget her than the chances of me ever finding a solution to my problem are just as good as dead! Ava...oh, her bouncy Curley hair, soft and the color of rich chocolate. Her eyes are the most beautiful shade of brown, the keepers of kindness and joy. Her smile; her pearly white teeth; her personality and her level of smarts. The girl of my dreams, I swear to never forget her.

"Jack Anders," that was a nurse calling. Yeah, I'm in a hospital's waiting room, waiting to have a check up on my heart. It's got a terrible disease whose name I can never think of off the top of my head, and it makes me at risk for heart attacks.

My mom got up and pushed my wheelchair in. Never in my life had I seen her so....broken. Her stick straight blonde hair had become gray in a matter of months; her bright green eyes had become glassy as if they would shatter if she ever cried a single tear. Her beautiful rosy, smooth skin became wrinkly and colorless. She was taking my heart disease worse than anyone.

"Please come this way ma'am," the nurse motioned her hand to the right and we followed her down the hall. This appointment was only a weekly checkup, the doctors are becoming so worried about me and how I will manage. I've been on the list for a heart transplant for almost a year now, and I don't want to know how much longer I can take before something really bad happens.

My mom wheeled me in to the room where I usually get my checkup done, there my doctor, Dr. Darken, was sitting at his desk looking at a pile of papers, probably mine.

"Hello Jacky! How ya doin'?" He greeted. His was a rather nice man. He had no hair on his head at all, except for eyebrows, and he wasn't even an old doctor like I first imagined; he was really in his early thirties.

"Ok," I said, although I didn't really feel that way. My heart seems to determine how I'm feeling now, and most of the time that pretty bad.

'Well then, let's get started, let me listen."

He always started like that; he'd listen to my heart. He had first told me that one of the reasons why it was bad is because it had an irregular heartbeat. I tried listening to it one day but I couldn't really hear a difference. In all honesties, I think my heart is very good, the really bad chest pains and me fainting sometimes always proves me wrong.

"That sounds a little better today, still irregular but better," he wrote some notes done on his piece of paper.

"We'll, I've got some news for the both you." He said

My mother looked up after starring at the floor. "What is it doctor?"

He smiled, "Well.....we have a heart!"

My eyes widen.

"A heart? A heart?! A heart!" My mother cheered.

"Yes. We just got the news last night. Your donors heart is from a 16 year old girl; your age, right Jacky? And here in San Francisco actually. She has the same blood type and structure of your heart, but of course in a healthy way."

I couldn't believe it. A heart! A heart! A heart for me! I will be able to walk again! Go places! See everyone that I missed! See.....Ava again!

"When is the transplant?!" my mother exclaimed.

"The heart should be in tomorrow, and we'll schedule the transplant for the day after," he said. "Does that work?"

"Oh yes! Yes of course!" I could swear that twenty years from my mother’s face just vanished in this happy moment. It was the first time I had seen her happy in months.

"Great!" He wrote down more notes on his paper, "Alright then Jacky. We'll see you in a couple of days."

He walked us down the hallway, and left us with a doctor’s note at the entrance to the door. Then he said his goodbyes and walked back inside.

When we got home, I wanted to dance! It was one of the greatest piece of news I had ever gotten. I will have a heart again! I will have happiness again! I will have a life again!

That night, mom made me my favorite: Chicken salad with a side of cucumbers and carrots. My mom never makes this for me often as it is threatening to my condition. Don't get me wrong, this isn't dangerous; but if I have it too often, I could have a heart attack.

After I finished my diner, I hurried to get to my room, pushing my wheelchair frantically, and almost bumping into the walls. I was glad my house had only one floor, it wasn't a small house, it just wasn't tall. Me being on one floor helps make things easier for me when it comes to movement, not having to worry about stairs and all.

Once I'm in my room, I remove myself from my wheelchair and set myself at my desk and start doodling; it was something that kept me busy and made me think about other things. I wasn't so good at it when I first started, but when you've had nothing to do for a year, you'd be amazed how good I had managed to teach myself. I wasn't drawing anything in particular, i normally let my hand wander off into a land of doodles while my mind wanders, never really caring what came out on the paper; but after a while, I looked down and realized that I was drawing a portrait of Ava.

I stopped drawing and stared at the picture, admiring it; Ava....I've known her for years, as long as I can remember actually. I've always liked her in a way that I've never felt before. She was pretty, although she always denied it, but in a different way; she never put make-up one, no matter what, so she always showed her natural beauty; she tied her hair back firmly to prevent it from getting in her eyes, but I've always liked the way she would brush it back behind her ears whenever it got in her face; she had a sweet but bright smile, one that emitted happiness and joy whenever she was happy; her laugh was spritely and seemed to echo around the room whenever she let it go; she was amazingly smart, like me, but she always enjoyed a little competition with me every once in a while. I roll my eyes as I recall all those times when I proved her wrong or she proved me wrong, or we would work together on a problem and figure it out together....I always liked the way her eyes sparkled with delight when she had finally figured it out, and how she smiled at me with joy...

I sigh dreamily as I think of all these things about her, in all honesties, these were the reasons why I was able to wait an entire year, maybe even more, without going completely nuts; every time I thought about her, I would imagine her being with me, telling me that I could do it, I could get through it....I remember the time she broke her leg, and how she had stayed home for several months because she couldn't handle being around so many people and moving around so much. She was in my math class that year, and every day, she would call on FaceTime to do her lessons; I would always answer it, and see her in her room, smiling back at me through the screen, but I could see it in her eyes that she was having trouble being at home for so long....I know how she felt....but she got through it....just like I'm gonna get through it.

I smile at the portrait, pleased with the result, and I get up from my desk and make my way over to my bed, pinning it above my head.

"I'll be back in no time...." I promised the lifeless drawing; and with that, I gently lied down in my bed, took my pills for the night, and drifted off to sleep.