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EclipsedVoice — Rain Dance
Published: 2005-10-13 19:51:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 482; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 21
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Description
It was as if something was merryJolly and dandy like I’d wanted
Pessimistically full of hopes
Flaunted like a shrinking flower in the desert
I offer you sweet perfumes of lust
Craving for it, you rejected it
Another drop of water in the ocean
Flavourless to your yearning desires
Arrows fill with rage from my eyes
Tear stains of fate on my face
Sounds of the discharge from the hoedown
Forever a musical of destiny
It was as if something was left behind
Something familiar yet strange
I had nothing but a broken memory
Between us remains the… silence
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Comments: 15
Very moving and nostalgic. Strangely, I didn't find it sad. It was as if I was expecting something to happen right from the first line... But anyway, the image fits perfectly in the mood. Congrats!
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I'm glad you liked it. I really liked your picture and thought I just HAD to use it. Thank you for the fave!
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Nice poem, it flows along pretty good and it has a good length so the read was pleasant. (i've read a few drawn out poems today)
"It was as if something is merry " Grammar: you use past tense, was and then present tense: is. This bothers me.
Keep up the good work.
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Actually, when I wrote it, I was thinking, 'RoninGaleria is not going like this line.'
Still, I smiled to myself and kept it, sort of like how my mind jumps around in time.
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lol, ive got someone thinking of me when they write, i must be doing something correct 
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For making you speechless.
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Oh, nah that's ok, we sometime need to shut our mouths and rather listen or think.
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I think the line, 'I had nothing but a broken memory'... Oh, and an erotica I found online!
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heh heh oh u and ur erotica. Was it the same site as that thong frog lady pic u showed me once?
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Wha..? I showed you such a thing???
Here: [link]
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