HOME | DD

EclipsedVoice — Rain Dance

Published: 2005-10-13 19:51:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 482; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 21
Redirect to original
Description It was as if something was merry
Jolly and dandy like I’d wanted  
Pessimistically full of hopes
Flaunted like a shrinking flower in the desert

I offer you sweet perfumes of lust
Craving for it, you rejected it
Another drop of water in the ocean
Flavourless to your yearning desires

Arrows fill with rage from my eyes
Tear stains of fate on my face
Sounds of the discharge from the hoedown
Forever a musical of destiny

It was as if something was left behind
Something familiar yet strange
I had nothing but a broken memory
Between us remains the… silence
Related content
Comments: 15

tertuliastock [2006-03-27 16:04:40 +0000 UTC]

Very moving and nostalgic. Strangely, I didn't find it sad. It was as if I was expecting something to happen right from the first line... But anyway, the image fits perfectly in the mood. Congrats!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

EclipsedVoice In reply to tertuliastock [2006-03-29 08:56:54 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you liked it. I really liked your picture and thought I just HAD to use it. Thank you for the fave!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RoninGaleria [2005-10-30 21:11:40 +0000 UTC]

Nice poem, it flows along pretty good and it has a good length so the read was pleasant. (i've read a few drawn out poems today)

"It was as if something is merry " Grammar: you use past tense, was and then present tense: is. This bothers me.

Keep up the good work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

EclipsedVoice In reply to RoninGaleria [2005-10-31 05:47:35 +0000 UTC]

I knew it.
Actually, when I wrote it, I was thinking, 'RoninGaleria is not going like this line.'
Still, I smiled to myself and kept it, sort of like how my mind jumps around in time.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RoninGaleria In reply to EclipsedVoice [2005-11-01 04:13:34 +0000 UTC]

lol, ive got someone thinking of me when they write, i must be doing something correct

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

EclipsedVoice In reply to RoninGaleria [2005-11-01 04:15:57 +0000 UTC]

Hehe!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MentalBard [2005-10-14 15:14:16 +0000 UTC]

Speechless

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

EclipsedVoice In reply to MentalBard [2005-10-17 05:49:23 +0000 UTC]

For making you speechless.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MentalBard In reply to EclipsedVoice [2005-10-18 04:55:02 +0000 UTC]

Oh, nah that's ok, we sometime need to shut our mouths and rather listen or think.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

EclipsedVoice In reply to MentalBard [2005-10-15 13:32:41 +0000 UTC]

I do apologise!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MentalBard In reply to EclipsedVoice [2005-10-17 04:59:46 +0000 UTC]

Apologise for?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kakiyo-sempai [2005-10-14 04:57:50 +0000 UTC]

very nice......what inspired it?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

EclipsedVoice In reply to kakiyo-sempai [2005-10-14 05:00:30 +0000 UTC]

I think the line, 'I had nothing but a broken memory'... Oh, and an erotica I found online!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kakiyo-sempai In reply to EclipsedVoice [2005-10-14 05:01:34 +0000 UTC]

heh heh oh u and ur erotica. Was it the same site as that thong frog lady pic u showed me once?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

EclipsedVoice In reply to kakiyo-sempai [2005-10-14 05:21:49 +0000 UTC]

Wha..? I showed you such a thing???
Here: [link]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0