Comments: 11
bluegill [2019-08-14 02:54:00 +0000 UTC]
Great story.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
TritonsGuard [2017-07-15 05:28:52 +0000 UTC]
Good. Descriptive, but not to the point of monotony, and very immersive. I would only change a few minor things. Some of the grammar could be better, and here in Cali we call carbonated drinks "soda," not "pop." As I said, minor stuff. Overall, I like it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Lanos-Lovahs [2014-03-13 02:21:30 +0000 UTC]
wow
i really like it, it's a good sense of imagination to even be able to write like that
just one thing for constructive criticism:
make seperate paragraphs! When i looked at it whooooa like a hyptnotize thing!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
bqrt1609 [2014-02-24 02:48:14 +0000 UTC]
I love it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
zuki12013 [2013-02-03 00:15:54 +0000 UTC]
Very nice story.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Starlig [2012-10-26 02:00:22 +0000 UTC]
Cool
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OrcaKing [2012-05-23 17:37:02 +0000 UTC]
i love your story! can you write one for me?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
pluvsmambo [2012-05-09 21:15:02 +0000 UTC]
Like your story and hope to read more soon.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0