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elazuls-core — Where is it
Published: 2004-08-17 01:17:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 1865; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 217
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I don't like these feelings I'll get sometimes, regarding the relationship I'm in with my girlfriend.Uncertainty, insecurity, loneliness. Stuff like that.
They probably can't be helped, as I expect that most people in relationships would have them and more than those, as well. No relationship is exactly like another.
But still.
I felt that way today, at work. I drew this while I was there, I have a hard time trying to understand what this feeling really is, so maybe drawing it and her would help me feel better.
I miss her presence. I want to grow with her. I want her to grow with me. But we see less and less of each other and as time goes by, I seem to be the one who feels the most serious about us, in my mind. Even tho I don't really understand much about love, being in love, these things tug at me every now and then.
I want to listen to my heart, but the mind speaks a lot louder, sometimes.
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Comments: 40
I really love this picture, there's a lot of emotion in this piece.
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Dude, you probably don't need to be reminded of this but i just read what you wrote for this piece and it just feels like how things are for me right now...
...you're a great help to me, man. You really are. I'm sorry if i brought up any old bad feelings but it's things like this that remind me that i'm not alone in this type of situation.
Thank you for expressing stuff like this because you help people like me.
You're a dude, thank you.
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I like how the pencil and ink are in one pic...looks neat.
I'm glad you got so many heartfelt responses to this. You're very lucky ^_^
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There's alot of emotion in this peice. And I'm sorry you were going through such a hard time. But you've got alot of talent, and the ability to express yourself in a way that others can feel and understand you. Hopefully, that will help you understand yourself a little more. Or at least take some comfort in knowing that people do care. Even strangers.
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Man, didn't know you were feeling like that
Be it good or bad feelings they always seem ot have an artistical exit.
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*Looks at picture*
Hmm.. Now that I see it again, it makes me think something like...
Her: I can't go out with you because you're considerably bigger than I am. o.o
Me:*Punched in the eye* Owwie. ;_;
xD; Hahahaa! ..Ahhh.
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Awww... Don't be sad ;__;
Cheer up, my friend!!! 
By the way... The picture is really cute ^^
'though you are a little sad, you still drawing really cool!!!
I love your style so much ^________________^
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Thank you, Akira. ^_^
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It's beautiful ;_; but I hope you feel better. I dunno anything about love but I do know what it's like to feel that way. Maybe not the same way you do, but I always try my best to keep close to someone I love. Like..a phone. You talk to her online only, right? Maybe if you call her..? : D
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It would be great to hear her voice.
I'd asked if she wanted to have a phone chat, a couple of times and I'm one who abhors talking, but with her, I could easily manage a few words, just to get a few back at the least.
She isn't ready to, yet. Which is one of those things that I think about and makes me feel uneasy. I've known her for about 4 years now. To put a voice to her beautiful aura would be a gift in itself that I could have and cherish that noone else could give to me.
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Well then..Ask her if you can write letters! It's the best way to get closer to someone. I used to write to my guardians all the time. : D
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Hehe. ^_^
We've done that, and it's very nice, yes. Having something in my hands that she's held, put her thoughts into making...
I'll hate myself sometimes for not having written her back, after she sent me a multi paged letter. Just.. mff, I'm so lazy that I don't even write her back. I wonder if it upset her that I didn't do it, yet. I'll ask her, next time I talk to her.
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Awww! Write her back!! ;_; Get off the compu and write!! I'm sure that even the smallest letter can make her happy.
When I wrote, I never knew what to say.. and so I mostly rambled thing, ranted, talked about things I've seen, stupid things. : D It shows that you're not afraid to tell someone pointless yet funny things.
You should tell her exactly how you feel. Everything you said here. : D
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This picture shows-sorry I'm off-that you obviously love her and care about her constantly, which is good. You two must be close. :: hugs you tightly :: I'm no expert on this matter so, I can't really offer advice. But I am here to listen and to help, so if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here
On the actual art, this is beautifully drawn and conveys alot of emotion. It's quite breathtaking...
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awww... poor u!! I hope things get bettah!! *gives u hug and good luck cookie*
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Luckee cookie! Thank ya, ReaRea.
*eats a piece and keeps the rest somewhere safe*
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Dude, its good to know its not just me who feels like he's going crazy on the inside. I just recently started dating my best friend, we had feelings for each other for awhile so were really close. She tells me over and over not to worry because she feels the same way as me, actually she thinks she feels even more strongly about me than I do about her. I can't really comment on your relationship, but I do have one piece of advice. Don't worry about what you can not control. That and don't ask questions you know you don't want the answers to. Sry if my advice seems a little wonky its 8 o'clock in the morning here and I just got back from biking to my work to find out I don't have to work.
I love the more 80's early 90's style character of your girlfriend. It's nice to see not everyone is utterly consumed by this new wave of anime that everyone seems to have jumped on board with
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I was recently inspired by some Growlanser artwork that I've seen lately, due to that Growlanser 2 and 3 compilation set that's gonna be coming out soon, and the artwork was just.. whoa, it made me miss the old art style of the 80's-early 90's that anime used to have.
I want to keep practicing that style, because it's what got me interested in wanting to be an anime style artist in the first place, but back when I was a beginner, I was never able to grasp the complexity of things. Now that I'm a little better, I figure that it's time to pay homage to what got me started. ^_^ Also, yah, because it'd be nice to see pictures that bring up nostalgic feelings of my youth, more often.
The days of playing Valis III, watching Robotech, amazing times.
I thank you for your advice. Seems like I'm mostly worried because of what can't be controlled makes things more difficult to deal with and also because I want to tell her things, but I don't know if I should ask or suggest them. Mnnn... And if I don't ask, it's more insecurity that I tend to hold within myself...
I hope that what hardships that may come with you and your girlfriend's relationship, on down the line, will be overcome by you both, with each other's help. That's a beautiful thing about love, you're not alone and the power of two is greater than the power of one, so long as you both hold each other very dear to your hearts.
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Thanx, I wish you all the best with your relationship to
On the art side I'm glad to hear that some people didn't jump on the bandwagon of anime just recently. I remember watching Astroboy when I was 4, its one of the main reasons I even like to draw now. I hope that more people bring back the style.
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*huggles*
Now...you KNOW I know what you're going through. Insecurites tend to get the best of people sometimes. Everday is a constant struggle not to give into sadness whenever you're feeling lonely or depressed. I always feel like I'm always pulling everything together in me and vince's relationship...like I take it a lot more seriously than he does....and sooner or later, it really starts to nag at your heart, filling your head with doubt. Unfortunately, I don't think it's something that just...goes away. You may feel better about it tomarrow, but it'll always still be there...in the back of your mind ...just waiting to manifest again at your weakest moment. This is really something you should talk out with her...if it's really bothering you that is. I think all that you need, like me, is some good ol' reassurance. Long distance relationships are hard...boo boy are they ever...but....you had to expect that it'd be hella hard and hella lonely to begin with. You definately have a right to feel the way that you do and everyone has different ways of dealing with their feelings. You don't have to suffer alone though. We should have an online couples support group or something XD
About your picture....I LOVE her pose and expression. She looks genuinely concerned...I hope that's what you were going for. I love the way you draw hair...it's just so nice and neat. Sometimes some of our best work is inspired by feelings...but...hopefully next time it'll be a happier feeling that'll be inspiring.
Hope your sadness doesn't last long. Remember, it's ok to be sad sometimes....we all need to vent, and I'm always here to talk, just like you are for me 
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You're right, these emotions don't fade over time, not on their own, not without assistance, sometimes. It's that bit harder for someone who doesn't tell people what troubles them, to come right out with it, not knowing how someone will take it.
I had not told my family that I've even got a girlfriend, for example. >_> I want to tell my mom and sister, but, I've never told them something like that before, I dunno what to expect.
I should talk to her, yep. I hope she'll 'listen' to what I say, or feebly attempt to say, not just 'hear' it. But, I don't even know what to say tho, it's all a jumble of ... stuff, in my head, none of it makes much sense. So, I dunno, maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me after all. But, I dunno. o_x
Thank you, Nicole. ^_^ We'd do well to find some sorta group like that, yah.
(I honestly didn't know exactly what I was going for with the picture. That's just how she looked in my head, when I was feeling those things, but there was a void of darkness behind of her which I didn't add)
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Ohhhhh . . .
I know how it feels dude.
Right now I'm in a starting thing with this dude and he's really great, we've known each other for three years and only after graduation on the 18th of july we told each other how we felt about each other and the beginning of this month we started going out. But ever since graduation and my schedual, I can't see him as much as I'd like to. So it likes we're friends just like before. But yea, I know how it feels. We barely talk anymore and I always get that feeling too.
But I like what Skitzopath wrote. It helps me, even if its directed to you. Things will go good with your girlfriend, the only thing I can recommed if that you talk to her and let you know how you feel. If you don't, then there is no communication and this feeling will only eat at you more until you can't stand it. And when it does go wrong, it'll only get worse from there. So there's not a lot I could recommend, but I guess I can throw a few words of encouragement here and there.
I feel like talking to you dude, you have AIM? IM me sometime k? I wanna talk to a fresh face.
So good luck, and beautiful pic too!
feel better!
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Thank you, FaeFae.
I'm happy, knowing that you have someone to share your love with. ^_^ You've always been a sweet person. So he had better treat you very well and keep you sweet and happy, or else!... uhm... I'll scowl.. at him... wherever he is.
Yah.. Skitzy is definitely right about one thing. That the more we miss them, the sweeter it is when we get them back. That's something that you and I can both feel good about, I believe.
I'll give your AIM a ring sometime, thank you for the invite to do so. ^_^
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Core, I know the feeling; youre not alone I sometimes depict my feelings in the form of poetry and it almost always has a picture because pictures help me get my point across. There are just to many feelings for me to tell; but anyway awesome sketch. Best of luck with your relationship.
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I was going to add a poem as well, but, I couldn't form the words, since I still don't know what I'm feeling in particular, but, it was concidered.
I suck at making them tho, hahaha.
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Man its okay feelings get mixed up sometimes and yes it is frustating but what would we be without them. Poems are an expression just like pictures if youre confused about what you are feeling why not write an poem about confused feelings;or not. swing by my page sometime maybe I will have a sample poem up by then.
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Mrrrr...the desire to be in the arms of one another...understandable. Situations like yours can get very complicated, they can get very depressing, but...they make the victory so much sweeter.
You should never deny your heart...because the heart (I know this might sound a bit ludicrous) is like a brain...but it's more advanced, in many aspects. The brain isn't the organ that can feel emotions, such as love, happiness, anger, sadness, uncertainty, guilt, and the list goes so on and so forth to other emotions, and branches off into more accute-ish emotions. And it also provides instinct...for example. One can follow their mind, and shun their instinct, but normally 99.9% of the time, one will deny it.
Never give up, Bro, you're too good for that. You're never alone...I know sometimes things may look very bleak, but, you two...you are linked by your hearts, you are linked by love...and just when you think you love someone as much as you can, you find out that your love grows even more, incredibly, beyond mortal boundries. The connection grows ever stronger when the love grows as well. I know you can overcome all those negativities...your innocence and strength are overwhelming, I'll tell you.
Eh...this is difficult to post and stuff, because, well...I'm horrible with words. I really am. =\ And I apologise if things don't make sence, or, if I didn't make something clear, or if I couldn't put enough detail.
Mrrr...but if you don't have faith in yourself, there will always be someone to put their faith into you, whether it is Charlotte herself, your siblings, or your friends. I know Charlotte would most definitely not want you to give up, and I would say she also feels the same way, about all those negative feelings...but that's a part of the charm, because when you two finally do see eachother and such, it just makes everything SO much more precious.
And if I have to, I'll CARRY one of you to the other. I really cannot await the day you two meet, and if plans go amiss, then, I will personally see to it that you two see eachother.
.....But..for the artistic value of this piece, I really admire it. Very heartfelt emotions here...and that's what makes art...art. Art from the heart <3 A truly beautiful piece, yuss yuss. Beautiful work from you, as always. The expressions and atmosphere have also been nailed down perfectly. ::nods::
Keep your chin up, Bro. ::hugsnug::
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Thank you, sis.
Yah. The love does grow stronger and with it, the bond strengthens. Seems like there is a slow period or something, tho. It wasn't always like that, we bonded so fast and grew on each other. And I expect that to keep going the way that it used to, I suppose. Greed, to find stability? I still can't figure it out.
She's busy doing important things for her future, and I'm kinda just wading around through life.
She may miss the times when we didn't have any big plans for the day, other than to wake up and talk to each other (That's what it was like for me, life was complete with her around, and the first and last thing that I would think of in the day, was her), since she doesn't get to do that or a lot of other things that she was used to doing. But I don't know unless she says that, of course. I don't wanna put words in her mouth.
I wonder what she thinks of us.
I should just be patient, I guess. But, I want her around again, when she can be around. I want to give her some of my heart and even us out, or something.
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There's no need to thank me, Bro. I'm here for you. <3 Now and forever.
It's not greed...it's want, but not greed. And I don't believe that you seek only stability...you also seek reassurance (perhaps from doubt? I don't know...I'm just giving my thoughts and opinions here), I would have to say. Something that says the candle's still burning in the dark, and that it won't be snuffed out. And really, nothing that you seek comes from greed, it comes from good intention, from love itself. I don't think there's a single ounce of greed within your body, and I believe I can stake my life on this statement...and if you do have greed, it's not the bad human greed...you will always have good intentions.
Though...as for her being so busy, and you taking everything day by day...I would have to say there's some sort of plan unfolding. And I can't put words in her mouth either, but...I think I can take a crack at her train of thought, perhaps. I would definitely say she does miss those days, and I believe that even under her cheerful disposition, there is also some sort of pain. I remember when Mystic Anime still existed, we had a whole private messaging system going on and stuff...she was worried and stuff, and if I remember correctly, perhaps, saddened to an extent. So, I would definitely think that she thinks about you, and worries about you, and most certainly wants the bond to increase and the doubt to vanish. I can easily say that her love is very genuine, just like yours.
Mrrrr, and I am very sorry...I personally know that patience in these situations is horribly difficult. I know it may sound overused...but I, seriously, in all honesty, know how you feel. ::hugs::
Hrn...perhaps you should try to e-mail her though, maybe? I'm thinking that perhaps every now and then, she might quickly check her e-mail and stuff...not exactly sure, since I know she can be very busy with what she's doing...but maybe it's worth a try? Like...take a deep breath, and let your heart speak honestly. Two hearts that are bound together...are bound to understand eachother. This is my theory....::hugs::
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"I would have to say. Something that says the candle's still burning in the dark, and that it won't be snuffed out."
I believe that's exactly what I want to know, right there. I was spoiled with her presence, her being there with me everyday. It made everything feel right in the world, in our world.
Now it's like, a piece of the world is absent, it's still there thankfully, but very elusive, and mysterious.
Hmmm, Mystic Anime, I had some good memories there, with her and all you guys. She and I used to PM each other for hours there, I really miss doin' that.
Today, I started writing out a letter to her, and I feel a whole lot better, after having read the letter that she had mailed to me a few months ago, it was assuring to read it, like she was almost here herself.
I'll e mail her too, tonight...
Hmm, yeah, I also think that when two hearts bond into a shared heart, they will share their feelings and thoughts, the 2 halves are able to understand each other better as a result. I want her and I to be on the same wavelength, about us, and we usually are.
I can't think too well right now, if ya haven't noticed. But, I do feel a lot better today. ^_^
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.....Even if the flame has become an ember, remember, that even the smallest of embers can trigger the biggest of infernos. 
If any of that made sence to you..>_> It's hard to transfer my thoughts into something legible.
Aye, good times, good times. Then, stuff happened, and blam, MA was down. Mrrrr...
Oooh, so both a letter and an e-mail? Most definitely sounds great. ::nodnod:: I am sure she will be thrilled to receive them both.
Then, everything will most definitely work itself out. Mutual understanding and mutual love is very hard to find between couples, but you two have it, and things should be just fine.
That's alright, I can't think too well either 
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Poor guy... -/ I feel for ya', Ken! *sits beside you and gives you some tea and chocolate, while supplying holograms and voice recordings of your girlfriend* <
On the picture.....Wow. Just wow. You drew this out of sheer loneliness for your girlfriend? You must really miss being with her more often. -/ Yet again, I feel for ya, man. The character placement and the poses are all so great. I've tried to do pictures like this MANY times, but have failed every attempt. Wonderful shading, too. Altho, I can see you're not finished. Or, you put more care into your g/f than yourself, as you miss her. -) *massages your shoulders* *cheers* It'll be okay, Ken! I know it will! Hope! You must hope!
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Oooooo, very niiiiiiiiice, very pretty too, awesome job!
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Omg, I Wish You luck with your Girlfriend!
Seriously, I can't stand it when people are so sad.
Great pic, by the way. Its extremely pretty.
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