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electrickiss — the art of missing you.
Published: 2010-10-30 01:01:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 3321; Favourites: 112; Downloads: 10
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Description he wakes up one day to find you gone. perched on top of your the pillow next to his, he finds a small note, paper curled up on its side. it read;

i'm sorry to inform you, but your name has been taken away.
sincerely,
the world.
he blinks in disbelief at the slip of paper in his hand. kicking the covers off, he bolts out of bed and runs through the house, checking closets, cupboards, the shower. he ends up in front of the shoe cupboard, with a look of shock permanently seared into his face.

---

with you, he laughs and runs full pelt into the ocean, uncaring if the water splashes directly into his eyes or if he loses his ice cream cone in the tinkling water.
without you, he takes a step at a time, hands shoved deep in his pockets, and flinches as the frosty water laps at his toes.

with you, he sleeps soundly through the sounds of the shower, the banging of closet doors, but he doesn't sleep through the smell of breakfast.
without you, he finds himself awake at the exact time which you would be sliding out of bed and into the shower. the resonating silence shakes him a little.

with you, he's allowed and he's able to lie bonelessly all over you, especially when his favourite TV show is going on, and he relishes in the constant feel of your fingers in his hair.
without you, he lies gingerly on the couch, pillow under his head, and a tear runs down his cheek when he realizes that his own fingers in his hair doesn't feel right at all.

with you, he goes to bed happy, tangled up sufficiently with you; legs meshed and arms entwined. he'll sleep on his back, front and side, but never without you. he goes to bed wondering; where did i go right?
without you, he goes to bed detached, and the covers are never enough to keep him warm the way your body did. he goes to bed wondering; where did everything go wrong?
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Comments: 51

electrickiss In reply to ??? [2011-02-09 05:21:24 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the critique! i'm glad you liked it enough to give it one. (:

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RollingTomorrow [2011-01-18 05:54:11 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for entering the One Factor Contest as #Writers--club !

This is a very thought provoking piece! It's interesting, it was impactive, and it was just abstract enough to have a mesmerizing feeling but still remain understandable.

Good work!


=TheFinalHikari
Founder of #Writers--club and #LandoftheSky

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electrickiss In reply to RollingTomorrow [2011-01-18 06:16:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

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RollingTomorrow In reply to electrickiss [2011-01-24 17:33:51 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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cschauer [2010-11-24 01:37:07 +0000 UTC]

you killed that. and you have no idea how hard that hit

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electrickiss In reply to cschauer [2010-11-24 04:15:41 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much. (:

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livesofbirds [2010-11-19 05:49:46 +0000 UTC]

featured here: [link]

<3

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electrickiss In reply to livesofbirds [2010-11-19 08:02:14 +0000 UTC]

thank you. (:

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OhGodOfWriting [2010-11-11 21:00:57 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing. This should have won first place FOR SURE.

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electrickiss In reply to OhGodOfWriting [2010-11-11 22:05:04 +0000 UTC]

aww, thanks so much! (:

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Kimmy-of-the-Darkk In reply to electrickiss [2010-11-19 05:22:55 +0000 UTC]

I agree completely! This. Is. Epic.

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electrickiss In reply to Kimmy-of-the-Darkk [2010-11-19 08:02:25 +0000 UTC]

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Kimmy-of-the-Darkk In reply to electrickiss [2010-11-19 23:12:36 +0000 UTC]

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MMCEOrange [2010-11-10 01:17:04 +0000 UTC]

I really like this a lot, and much of the feelings and emotion and thoughts i can directly relate to.

Also, it reminds me of a thing i carelessly wrote several years ago in an online journal, with the prominent lines being "with you, i have you. / Without you, i have not myself."

Thanks for sharing

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electrickiss In reply to MMCEOrange [2010-11-10 04:27:47 +0000 UTC]

that's a nice line. (:
thank you for reading!

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MsStarryDuck [2010-11-09 22:29:01 +0000 UTC]

This is gorgeously written. I loved every word and the flawless way it was constructed.

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electrickiss In reply to MsStarryDuck [2010-11-10 04:27:57 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

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oeilladed [2010-11-07 15:59:07 +0000 UTC]

this is absolutely beautiful ;__;
<3

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electrickiss In reply to oeilladed [2010-11-07 22:05:05 +0000 UTC]

thank youu. <3

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MidnightSun16 [2010-11-04 03:15:31 +0000 UTC]

that simply..gorgeous.
i teared a bit.
and for u to do that to me, makes u an unbelievable writer.
<3

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electrickiss In reply to MidnightSun16 [2010-11-04 03:27:53 +0000 UTC]

awwwwwww.
<3 thank youu. (:

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MidnightSun16 In reply to electrickiss [2010-12-14 23:27:12 +0000 UTC]

:]

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north-star66 [2010-10-31 17:30:33 +0000 UTC]

i really like this. i like the strike-throughs; they add character. how do you do that?

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electrickiss In reply to north-star66 [2010-10-31 22:05:42 +0000 UTC]

thank you.
< s > followed by to end it. without the spaces.

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paperclippenny [2010-10-31 12:46:47 +0000 UTC]

beautiful

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electrickiss In reply to paperclippenny [2010-10-31 13:07:14 +0000 UTC]

(:

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NinjaEwaPeach [2010-10-31 03:22:05 +0000 UTC]

This is so sad.... But beautiful and ture for some... but so sad....

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electrickiss In reply to NinjaEwaPeach [2010-10-31 03:34:37 +0000 UTC]

<33

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anjaliii [2010-10-31 01:53:59 +0000 UTC]

this makes me so sad.
idk why.
i have never met a guy like this. i would like to see one, just so i know they exist too.

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electrickiss In reply to anjaliii [2010-10-31 01:55:34 +0000 UTC]

so would i.

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anjaliii In reply to electrickiss [2010-10-31 01:56:14 +0000 UTC]

:'|

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Maenaren [2010-10-30 19:52:28 +0000 UTC]

Beautifully done; just the right amount of longing in the sweetness.

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electrickiss In reply to Maenaren [2010-10-31 00:59:01 +0000 UTC]

thank you. (:

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Maximillio [2010-10-30 17:07:41 +0000 UTC]

Very movig piece, and so true, I know how this feels after a recent breakup.
Brilliant stuff +Fav

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electrickiss In reply to Maximillio [2010-10-31 00:59:15 +0000 UTC]

i hope you feel better!
and much thanks. (:

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Maximillio In reply to electrickiss [2010-11-01 00:38:36 +0000 UTC]

No problems ^^ It really is a great piece of work

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WanderingHere [2010-10-30 16:23:52 +0000 UTC]

this is so sweetly sad. beautiful.

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electrickiss In reply to WanderingHere [2010-10-31 00:59:38 +0000 UTC]

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Feeling-Kitsune [2010-10-30 14:58:52 +0000 UTC]

awwww this is so sweet ^^

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electrickiss In reply to Feeling-Kitsune [2010-10-31 00:59:55 +0000 UTC]

(: thank youu

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LizzieUnjustified [2010-10-30 08:41:26 +0000 UTC]

This is wonderful.

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electrickiss In reply to LizzieUnjustified [2010-10-30 08:47:34 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

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LizzieUnjustified In reply to electrickiss [2010-10-30 22:34:07 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

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ArtSoul777 [2010-10-30 05:32:26 +0000 UTC]

wow - this is an incredible write!!!
you've touched on the small intricacies of love and the aspects one misses when it leaves . . .

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electrickiss In reply to ArtSoul777 [2010-10-30 05:34:13 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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Phoenix--x [2010-10-30 02:18:43 +0000 UTC]

wow... just wow, its perfect and amazing and just right. an apsolute favourite

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electrickiss In reply to Phoenix--x [2010-10-30 02:50:08 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

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emmiwish [2010-10-30 01:12:38 +0000 UTC]

...
this is definitely, undoubtedly one of my very most favorites by you.
i love it. i really do. the emotion in this...<3333
i must fave this then unfave it so i can fave it again! >
loooooooooooooooooooooooooove~

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electrickiss In reply to emmiwish [2010-10-30 01:26:17 +0000 UTC]

oh my, thank you so much! i'm gladddddd!! (:
<33333333

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emmiwish In reply to electrickiss [2010-10-30 01:32:36 +0000 UTC]

hehehe youre welcome! 8D<3

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