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emotionaltulip ā Spring- Incomplete
Published: 2007-05-08 01:27:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 62; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
SPRINGDigital wishes give me inspiration
It is sunny outside
but Iām trapped
Easter is a season of sugar
not substance
When will there be buds?
That song is so catchy
that I might kill myself
A cool, glass containment device
of expectations
Every work of literature
in the world relates to Margaret Atwood
The auditorium beckons
with hot glue and warm light
My English teacher agrees
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Comments: 3
One more line that has nothing to do with anything. lol, I like erratic poetry.
great line: "That song is so catchy that I might kill myself"
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You are too hard on yourself.
I am ashamed to say this but I agree something feels incomplete about it. Maybe it's just my love for long winded poetry but I have a sense that you are jumping around too much.
I suggest focusing on one particular aspect.
š: 0 ā©: 0
advice... hrmmm. k, cut it into pieces, get back into the moment, expand on everything, then cut it down again. too many ideas in too few words.
š: 0 ā©: 0