HOME | DD

emotionaltulip ā€” Spring- Incomplete
Published: 2007-05-08 01:27:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 62; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description SPRING

Digital wishes give me inspiration

It is sunny outside
but Iā€™m trapped

Easter is a season of sugar
not substance

When will there be buds?

That song is so catchy
that I might kill myself

A cool, glass containment device
of expectations

Every work of literature
in the world relates to Margaret Atwood

The auditorium beckons
with hot glue and warm light

My English teacher agrees
Related content
Comments: 3

clouded-ambition [2007-05-09 21:34:54 +0000 UTC]

One more line that has nothing to do with anything. lol, I like erratic poetry.
great line: "That song is so catchy that I might kill myself"

šŸ‘: 0 ā©: 0

DaaBree-Jeff [2007-05-08 16:41:00 +0000 UTC]

You are too hard on yourself.

I am ashamed to say this but I agree something feels incomplete about it. Maybe it's just my love for long winded poetry but I have a sense that you are jumping around too much.

I suggest focusing on one particular aspect.

šŸ‘: 0 ā©: 0

Spankreas [2007-05-08 01:33:05 +0000 UTC]

advice... hrmmm. k, cut it into pieces, get back into the moment, expand on everything, then cut it down again. too many ideas in too few words.

šŸ‘: 0 ā©: 0