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Entitaria — Destruct
Published: 2013-07-06 03:49:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 500; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 0
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Description
Her aorta ensnaredby vines, her capillaries
shrivelling, as flowers
drink up life-energy. Her
nervous system a cave full
of shipwrecks, and her bones
crumbling, like the walls
of a once ancient tomb.
She has to wonder,
What's left
for me
to destroy?
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Comments: 34
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features .
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Thank you, it's lovely to hear as much!
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I love this, the imagery, particularly of the shipwrecks, is really beautiful
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Thank you, I'm really happy to hear as much!
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This really is a tour-de-force; and I love the way things seem to walk on that border between human and environmental, it's like the narrator is the landscape. I love the way that this plays with the reader's perception in that particular way. It's quite inspired and it also has such an emotional kick, especially in the closing stanza. If this is an example of "weird stuff" then feel free to do more.
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Your comment itself is quite an eye-opener itself! I really wanted for the ending to have that sort of punch to it, I'm curious though, considering the first and last stanza's, what did the last line mean to you? It appears my weird stuff is quite alright! So, I'll be continuing down this path as far as I can tell. Thank you for the feedback, it's really very nice to hear. :>
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Given the whole poem, the last line itself seems a bit ambiguous, but not in a disturbing (unfinished) way, but in that it IS open to interpretation. Given my first take on the poem itself, it seems like one of those complex situations where a person is probably dealing with the aftermath of something very personal: probably inspired by their own self-destructive tendencies. It feels to me that maybe this person has done something complex, a bit like destroying the world by destroying one's self. That was what got me there: that whole feeling that things are in ruins because the narrator's existence is now shattered, broken, or at least not-entirely-whole. I think that was my first take on it, which is the strongest, in terms of my takes. The thing is, I don't see it as "destructive" or "self destructive" so much as self aware, and so it could also be seen as someone looking back at their past aspirations/dreams and seeing them in ruins, and though such things are in ruins, it's also an implication that life goes on. That's associated with my first take. Hopefully, what I've said makes sense.
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Perfect sense! I'll admit, I was startled reading what you said, you've managed to pinpoint every reason I kept in mind when writing this, it's surprising that it came across that precisely.
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You did an excellent job; the reasons reveal themselves, or rather, the words form a distinct image. That's how I took it. The piece has a really nice sense of poetic truth; it tells a whole story without hitting you over the head with it.
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Hahah~ well, thank you very much, it truly means the world to me knowing I haven't done too bad of a job concerning these things. :>
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Yep. And I'm glad you posted it.
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I really love the twining of human-body and nature imagery...the ancient tomb and shipwrecks may not have been part of nature at one time, but they are now, aren't they? It's very well done either way. Bravo!
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I like to think that every thing is entwined with nature in some way, a ripple effect from anything and everything if you will, we could be seen as a part of nature too~ Thank you! It's really very much appreciated~
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Congratulations! 
Thank you for sharing with the group
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Thank you very much for the feature! It really just made my day when I read it.
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Thank you! I hope that's in a good way.
Anything in particular that's interesting? :>
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Oh, also, I have seen your note, I just haven't had the time to really sit down and read it. When I do, I will respond. ^^
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It's alright! Take your time~ :>
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Of course it's in a good way! 
Really, the whole piece is interesting and fascinating, but what I think really makes the piece is the diction and imagery. ; u ;
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That's really lovely to hear~ Thank you~ :>
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I love the imagery you've used here, it really brings the piece to life, and I love that you've used words which aren't usually seen in poetry; I'm more likely to see 'aorta' and 'capillaries' in a textbook somewhere, but I love that you've used them here.
Just one little thing, I'm not sure you need the comma at the end of the fourth line after 'Her'; I don't think there needs to be a pause there. Other than that I think it's a great piece.
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Ah, thank you! It's a rather personal piece, and the use of such words was deliberate, so I'm incredibly happy to hear as much! :>
And thank you for pointing that out, I couldn't make up my mind when I put that there. (:
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Thank you! It's very much appreciated~
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Oh wow... this is beautiful
Tired art is the best art.
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Thank you~ 
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Welcome
Also, whoa, thanks for the fave and watch!
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hahah~ you're welcome! I wouldn't have done either if it wasn't totally worth it. :>
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