Etsugua [2006-01-30 19:55:28 +0000 UTC]
Drama... Really dramatic indeed... But I like the word choice, and your writing is accurate Nice work
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Esp1 In reply to Etsugua [2006-01-30 22:27:54 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much .
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
KrisCannotDraw [2005-11-21 21:12:57 +0000 UTC]
hmm... ekke helt sikker, men... burde ikke 'is' vært 'are' på det første værset? fordi du har reasonS - flertall = are. ellers et ganske bra dikt. keep writin' dude!
Esp1 In reply to KrisCannotDraw [2005-11-21 21:27:03 +0000 UTC]
hømm...du har vel rett...
intrinsicvalue [2005-11-21 06:59:47 +0000 UTC]
Reminds me of the song by Semisonic... "closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" It seems to be very in the moment, instantaneously desperate and hopeless, but the rhyme scheme keeps it light, or at least lighter than you would think those words brought together would be. Overall its an interesting effect. And there you have it, my attempt to give you some sort of feedback and at the same time to encourage you to keep writing.
Esp1 In reply to intrinsicvalue [2005-11-21 15:40:34 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for your comment..and,indeed, the title is from that song..