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Esp1 — Closing Time
Published: 2005-11-19 14:52:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 57; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
My reasons for living are goneThe real deal with certain people has been shown
My chances for a bright future is blown
Now its closing time
And I don’t mind
The only thing I have to spend is a dime
And to go on living like this would be a crime
Love and hate brought me to this place
now the bartender says "nighty nite"
and turns off the light
There is no people to help me home in sight
It's closing time
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Comments: 6
Drama... Really dramatic indeed... But I like the word choice, and your writing is accurate
Nice work
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hmm... ekke helt sikker, men... burde ikke 'is' vært 'are' på det første værset?
fordi du har reasonS - flertall = are.
ellers et ganske bra dikt. keep writin' dude!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Reminds me of the song by Semisonic... "closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here"
It seems to be very in the moment, instantaneously desperate and hopeless, but the rhyme scheme keeps it light, or at least lighter than you would think those words brought together would be. Overall its an interesting effect.
And there you have it, my attempt to give you some sort of feedback and at the same time to encourage you to keep writing.
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Thank you very much for your comment..and,indeed, the title is from that song..
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