Rocul [2007-11-14 16:23:05 +0000 UTC]
I really like this one XD although there are parts where the rhythm breaks, like this one You sank your teeth but I admire, The razor-sharp teeth of a vampire, (don't mind this comment though, I don't know jack about poetry, I just like how things sound when I read it out aloud... the vampire line sounds as if it's like missing a syllable or something)... but it's still good The last four lines are really nice. I can't stop reading them out loud
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Estelli In reply to Rocul [2007-11-14 17:15:20 +0000 UTC]
WOOT lol yea some lines have me wondering if i should stick a word in there or something but meh. thanks for reading them out loud! They sound better that way lol ^__^
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AustN-Acer [2007-11-05 16:10:49 +0000 UTC]
I like the rythme!
Estelli In reply to AustN-Acer [2007-11-05 19:01:37 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I like it too XD