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"Hi.
Thank you all for coming.
I uhh...
I was a little surprised that so many of you showed up, all things considered.
It's kinda weird that I'm the one up here doing this, again, all things considered.
Wasn't too long ago I was giving a eulogy for a really old, dear friend of mine.
Ruwen was just the opposite of that to me, but as it is...
I'm all she's got.

My name is Pepps, but many of you know me as Prisoner seven seventy-seven, and by now you all know why.
Ruwen was my warden on Irk, and when I was transferred to Vort after The Falling, she transferred with me.
I wish I could stand here today and say nothing but nice things about her, but as you probably already know, there isn't much nice to say.
Ruwen was...cold, mean, and overall hated kindness.
She had no friends, no family -- as far as I know.
She was very bitter, and full of burning hatred.
She also had a tendency to be very obsessive, and expected nothing less than perfection from her workers.
And when she held a grudge, she held onto it forever.
She did smile sometimes, though, if only when she thought she'd gotten her way.
Those moments were always short-lived.

Ruwen was very scary.
All of her subordinates feared her, and with good reason.
As her personal prisoner, I can tell you she was very sadistic, controlling, and a fan of attempted brainwashing.
But I'm not standing here saying all these bad things about her because I hate her; no, it's the opposite.
I hated her once, but I forgave her a long time ago.
I'm telling you all of this because it's the truth, and the way Ruwen died, and the unfortunate life she lived should be an example of how not to be, and why mental health is so important.

Ruwen was a very unhealthy person.
I mentioned she had no friends or family, but there was one person who was nice to her, who wasn't afraid of her, I think.
That was our dear friend, Miyuki.
Were Miyuki still here, maybe she would be giving this speech instead of me, but that's not how it went.
If that were the case, Ruwen would most likely not be dead, either.
So...
Here we are.

She was racist.
Even after the flushing of Termin, she remained with the mindset that the irken race was superior, and even then, she saw irkens who did not think this way to be equally as weak as every other people.
She ruled her roost with an iron fist, and when her subordinates failed her, she fired them without hesitation.
Mean-spirited, conniving, and willing to -- ironically -- break laws in order to uphold the ones she thought were more important.
From what I could gather, Ruwen was a little mentally ill.
People don't just come out like this; people are made to be this way.
I didn't know her that personally, I don't know who hurt her -- or what, for that matter, but I believe she did love someone.
She loved Miyuki, and when her only friend died, she needed someone to blame.
If the entire Empire was going to do it, then why shouldn't she have done the same?
She was...thrilled, to have someone to unleash her pain on.

Towards the end of Ruwen's life, I told her I wanted to be her friend.
And for the first time ever, after having seen her several times a week for six years, I saw her face soften.
There were a few moments where that crease between her brows almost disappeared, and I saw light in her eyes.
And for that moment, before she chose to keep her heart hardened, I really believe she wanted what I wanted.
I believe she wanted what I have; peace.
That look, that softness, will haunt me for the rest of my life.
She could've had better, she could've had a life worth living.
She could've been happy.

It's primitive ideology to expect punishment in death for those who do bad things while they're alive.
No matter how bad of a person someone is, no matter how they think or what they do, the only punishment is within the flesh.
As just about everyone knows by now, when we die, our consciousness goes to the same place, and receives infinite knowledge.
I did hate Ruwen once, but I got over it.
Letting go of pain and anger wasn't something Ruwen could do.
For her, living was a prison of her own making, which I'm sure you find just as ironic as I do.
Knowing she's dead doesn't make me happy, but due to the choices she made, and the consistent misery she unintentionally inflicted upon herself, her death is, to me, a relief.
It's a relief to know she doesn't hurt anymore, that she is somewhere where she can accept the truth.
A place where she can cry, and be embraced by Light and the universe itself.

The reason I know Ruwen loved Miyuki is because...she didn't agree with the late Tallest.
Ruwen was, as I stated before, racist, cold, and not a believer in second chances.
Miyuki was cognizant of Ruwen's ideology, and asked her to try and overcome it.
You know what Ruwen did...?
She obeyed.
To the best of her ability, anyway.
She didn't like Miyuki as a leader; she thought she was too soft, too forgiving.
But she tolerated it anyway, because Miyuki was good to her.
Ya know it's kinda funny, how that was what helped Ruwen to look up to her.
The woman hated kindness, but loved the one person who was kind to her.
She told me these things.
She never said she loved Miyuki, but I know she did.
I remember looking up from a shock chair after a torture session, and seeing it in her eyes.
She hurt me because she couldn't deal with losing the only person who wasn't afraid of her.
She couldn't accept the truth.

I have dreams.
Actually, I wanna call them visions, because they feel real to me.
Or at least, I want to believe it's more than just dreaming.
I have visions of Ruwen in the stars.
You remember her scarred face and missing antenna?
It's all normal.
She doesn't frown anymore, and that crease between her brows is completely gone.
I hardly recognize her.
And she walks on starlight, and then...there's Miyuki.
And Miyuki embraces her, and she tells Ruwen "I love you."
Three words that woman probably never heard once in her life, and she finally gets them.
It's bittersweet, but it makes me happy.
It makes me happy to think of her being free.

Ruwen the warden needs to be remembered for more than just being a sadistic bully.
She needs to be remembered as an example of how not to live.
She needs to be remembered as an example of why it's important to let go of anger, to grieve, to make friends, to accept the truth even when it's so horribly unfair that it takes the air out of our lungs.
Because if you don't, it will destroy you.
Ruwen was a tragic person, and she died a very tragic way.
And the worst part is, I think that once she realized she wasn't going to make it out, she wanted to die.
I think she wanted it to be over, because she couldn't conceive of any other way to live.
She couldn't bear the thought of more prison.

It's a thousand-year cliché, but tell the ones you love that you love them.
Hug them.
Spend time with them.
Embrace them.
If they hurt, help them.
If they fall, carry them.
If they are stubborn, if they reject you, try anyway.
Because then, no matter what happens, you can say "I tried."
You can say you did everything you could.
If they are bad for you, try to find someone who can do good for them, and for yourself.
If you have to let them go, then that's okay, too.
We are all entitled to a good life, and we have the choice to make it better or worse.

I'm sorry this was so insanely long, but I think it all really needed to be said.
I think Ruwen did, on some level, deserve to be recognized, even if it wasn't in a good way.
And I hope all of you take this to heart, and that like me, you can be happy for her being free.
I know I am.
Thank you for your time."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

---i do not own IZ but I do own this art and Ruwen---

Description

"Hi.
Thank you all for coming.
I uhh...
I was a little surprised that so many of you showed up, all things considered.
It's kinda weird that I'm the one up here doing this, again, all things considered.
Wasn't too long ago I was giving a eulogy for a really old, dear friend of mine.
Ruwen was just the opposite of that to me, but as it is...
I'm all she's got.

My name is Pepps, but many of you know me as Prisoner seven seventy-seven, and by now you all know why.
Ruwen was my warden on Irk, and when I was transferred to Vort after The Falling, she transferred with me.
I wish I could stand here today and say nothing but nice things about her, but as you probably already know, there isn't much nice to say.
Ruwen was...cold, mean, and overall hated kindness.
She had no friends, no family -- as far as I know.
She was very bitter, and full of burning hatred.
She also had a tendency to be very obsessive, and expected nothing less than perfection from her workers.
And when she held a grudge, she held onto it forever.
She did smile sometimes, though, if only when she thought she'd gotten her way.
Those moments were always short-lived.

Ruwen was very scary.
All of her subordinates feared her, and with good reason.
As her personal prisoner, I can tell you she was very sadistic, controlling, and a fan of attempted brainwashing.
But I'm not standing here saying all these bad things about her because I hate her; no, it's the opposite.
I hated her once, but I forgave her a long time ago.
I'm telling you all of this because it's the truth, and the way Ruwen died, and the unfortunate life she lived should be an example of how not to be, and why mental health is so important.

Ruwen was a very unhealthy person.
I mentioned she had no friends or family, but there was one person who was nice to her, who wasn't afraid of her, I think.
That was our dear friend, Miyuki.
Were Miyuki still here, maybe she would be giving this speech instead of me, but that's not how it went.
If that were the case, Ruwen would most likely not be dead, either.
So...
Here we are.

She was racist.
Even after the flushing of Termin, she remained with the mindset that the irken race was superior, and even then, she saw irkens who did not think this way to be equally as weak as every other people.
She ruled her roost with an iron fist, and when her subordinates failed her, she fired them without hesitation.
Mean-spirited, conniving, and willing to -- ironically -- break laws in order to uphold the ones she thought were more important.
From what I could gather, Ruwen was a little mentally ill.
People don't just come out like this; people are made to be this way.
I didn't know her that personally, I don't know who hurt her -- or what, for that matter, but I believe she did love someone.
She loved Miyuki, and when her only friend died, she needed someone to blame.
If the entire Empire was going to do it, then why shouldn't she have done the same?
She was...thrilled, to have someone to unleash her pain on.

Towards the end of Ruwen's life, I told her I wanted to be her friend.
And for the first time ever, after having seen her several times a week for six years, I saw her face soften.
There were a few moments where that crease between her brows almost disappeared, and I saw light in her eyes.
And for that moment, before she chose to keep her heart hardened, I really believe she wanted what I wanted.
I believe she wanted what I have; peace.
That look, that softness, will haunt me for the rest of my life.
She could've had better, she could've had a life worth living.
She could've been happy.

It's primitive ideology to expect punishment in death for those who do bad things while they're alive.
No matter how bad of a person someone is, no matter how they think or what they do, the only punishment is within the flesh.
As just about everyone knows by now, when we die, our consciousness goes to the same place, and receives infinite knowledge.
I did hate Ruwen once, but I got over it.
Letting go of pain and anger wasn't something Ruwen could do.
For her, living was a prison of her own making, which I'm sure you find just as ironic as I do.
Knowing she's dead doesn't make me happy, but due to the choices she made, and the consistent misery she unintentionally inflicted upon herself, her death is, to me, a relief.
It's a relief to know she doesn't hurt anymore, that she is somewhere where she can accept the truth.
A place where she can cry, and be embraced by Light and the universe itself.

The reason I know Ruwen loved Miyuki is because...she didn't agree with the late Tallest.
Ruwen was, as I stated before, racist, cold, and not a believer in second chances.
Miyuki was cognizant of Ruwen's ideology, and asked her to try and overcome it.
You know what Ruwen did...?
She obeyed.
To the best of her ability, anyway.
She didn't like Miyuki as a leader; she thought she was too soft, too forgiving.
But she tolerated it anyway, because Miyuki was good to her.
Ya know it's kinda funny, how that was what helped Ruwen to look up to her.
The woman hated kindness, but loved the one person who was kind to her.
She told me these things.
She never said she loved Miyuki, but I know she did.
I remember looking up from a shock chair after a torture session, and seeing it in her eyes.
She hurt me because she couldn't deal with losing the only person who wasn't afraid of her.
She couldn't accept the truth.

I have dreams.
Actually, I wanna call them visions, because they feel real to me.
Or at least, I want to believe it's more than just dreaming.
I have visions of Ruwen in the stars.
You remember her scarred face and missing antenna?
It's all normal.
She doesn't frown anymore, and that crease between her brows is completely gone.
I hardly recognize her.
And she walks on starlight, and then...there's Miyuki.
And Miyuki embraces her, and she tells Ruwen "I love you."
Three words that woman probably never heard once in her life, and she finally gets them.
It's bittersweet, but it makes me happy.
It makes me happy to think of her being free.

Ruwen the warden needs to be remembered for more than just being a sadistic bully.
She needs to be remembered as an example of how not to live.
She needs to be remembered as an example of why it's important to let go of anger, to grieve, to make friends, to accept the truth even when it's so horribly unfair that it takes the air out of our lungs.
Because if you don't, it will destroy you.
Ruwen was a tragic person, and she died a very tragic way.
And the worst part is, I think that once she realized she wasn't going to make it out, she wanted to die.
I think she wanted it to be over, because she couldn't conceive of any other way to live.
She couldn't bear the thought of more prison.

It's a thousand-year cliché, but tell the ones you love that you love them.
Hug them.
Spend time with them.
Embrace them.
If they hurt, help them.
If they fall, carry them.
If they are stubborn, if they reject you, try anyway.
Because then, no matter what happens, you can say "I tried."
You can say you did everything you could.
If they are bad for you, try to find someone who can do good for them, and for yourself.
If you have to let them go, then that's okay, too.
We are all entitled to a good life, and we have the choice to make it better or worse.

I'm sorry this was so insanely long, but I think it all really needed to be said.
I think Ruwen did, on some level, deserve to be recognized, even if it wasn't in a good way.
And I hope all of you take this to heart, and that like me, you can be happy for her being free.
I know I am.
Thank you for your time."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

---i do not own IZ but I do own this art and Ruwen---