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fairyinboots — Stigmatism
Published: 2002-08-19 00:25:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 162; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 14
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Description
I watched the man in town todayYou know, the one who’s lost his shirt
Everyone says he’s crazy
But watching him I’m just not sure
He talks to people randomly
Of their actions or the weather
He begs no charity, he picks up trash
And he can often be found crawling
Through bike racks
Over fences
“He’s just plain crazy!”
They tell me so surely
Even mocking
Their conviction washes off of me
Oil to my water
Watching him I can’t help but think
Perhaps he’s just a victim of some heinous act
Of society’s hemorrhaging
Perhaps his unacceptable irregularities
Are merely the result of one man losing respect for the system that shunned him
And perhaps a mass conclusion
Was just made too quickly
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Comments: 12
I like the way you watch and write what you saw. There is compassion here and personal confusion for the circumstance and an artistic understanding for the plight of one misunderstood. Very good.
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i like it but it could be better if you followed the "show not tell" idea. it's a great idea and could be made even better if you add on to it, maybe getting more into the character of the man and adding more senses.
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Good point. The title "stigmatism"...often images seen by someone with the condition are two images overlapping, or not quite focused... dude, interesting name.
And well written.
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An interesting piece, I think your ending is a little bit weak as throughout this piece you develop a "them and me" situation. Where you think they man isn't crazy, while others have judged him to be so. I think if you had persued that particular aspect a little bit more with your conclusion this piece would have been all the much stronger than it already is.
Besides that I think this is an excellent piece that takes ones mind and shows them that what may be "crazy" to one may actually be "normal" to another. Who are we to judge what is civilized?
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I like this one. For some reason it reminds me something of Pink Floyd or Jethro Tull .. for some odd reason.
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nicely written, and I have to agree with you too. although it is amusing to read the police reports in the paper and see how often someone calls in about how he's crawling across the road...
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i really like this one... a nice conclusion and interesting observations really make this piece come to live, as do the clear description of whats goin on.... great work sir.
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Yeah, this poor guy. I think he is a victim of society. Although, he is quite entertaining. I wish I could help him...
Anyway..the poem. Very well written I must say. I think this may be what everyone else has wanted to say about the dude..but just couldn't...very nice!
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