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FaIthFuLLwEaKnEsS — Mother dearest
by-nc-nd
Published: 2007-08-31 11:56:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 69; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 3
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Description
Another name fills the collectionAngels fall 3 stages of grace
Gold, rainbow, black and white
My heart beats in my head
I replay that vision of ripping you apart
Slapping you trough the face
Screaming out names
Pushing you around
Till I have my own taste of perfection
Thoughts locked deep, futher than heaven
I’ll kill myself just to get rid of you
Each cut a little bit deaper, just a bit more
Just enough to drown on the floor
System over loaded by rules
Images of being you
Your voice haunting even at night
My dreams, my heart, my soul
I take another shot, a harder one
Blood flying in the air tasting like tears
I see you fall “stand up” I scream
Where’s all those curses now?
Mother dearest I failed your dream
The test of life
Followed the road into nowhere
Another mark more visible on my arm
It’s easy to make the rules
Correcting each time, step by step
Its has been planned out
My life moulded by your hands
In reality I’m actually part human
Heart and soul, breathing, crying
Not just a puppet parading in your talent show
I stare at you on the floor
See you in heaven, see you in hell
Choke now on all the words I wept
I bottled it up for far to long
Now swallow it all
It hurts, doesn’t it?
Imagine how I felt not even ruling my own mind
Another name, another fight fills the collection
Mother dearest you diged my own grave
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Comments: 5
This was very emotional and powerful!
Certain parts of it reminded me erringly of myself and my own situation.
I really do feel like my Kaa-chan (Japanese for Mother, I've been calling her this for at least 2 years) is the puppet master. Or that my family and I are just pieces in her sick and twisted chess game. We're inanimate. Something to be used, moved where advantage can be gained, and then thrown away.
I'm more outspoken than the rest of my family. My friend have given me the courage to not just take this abuse. Instead I point out her failings, I show outward contempt, I tell her she is mistaken. That all her assumptions are hers and hers alone. And furthermore are more inaccurate than seeing reality through fogged glass. So many lies. She's a compulsive liar.
She's shameless and in the end, doesn't care about my happiness. She never did. She just wants me to live my life the way she wants me to. I refuse to and she's angered by such a rebellious action. I live life the way I want to. This is my life to live, not hers.
Which is why her and I can never get along. As long as I'm with her, I can never live the way I want to. I will be chained and trapped within the invisible threads she has spun around me.
I am myself, nothing more, nothing less.
If she can not accept me for who I am, and not for what she wants me to be, then she is not welcomed in my life.
Yours is truly a wonderful poem.
It's imbued with such emotion.
I really admire it.
Well, Ja ne~
~ Kari ~
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i like what you said "She's shameless and in the end, doesn't care about my happiness. She never did. She just wants me to live my life the way she wants me to. I refuse to and she's angered by such a rebellious action. I live life the way I want to. This is my life to live, not hers."cause thats true she wants to rule me she even wants to rule my bf its sick snd then my brother comes along the "mortal god"who my mother lik do anything for and he still treats her shit...
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lol thanks...you making me blush pmpl
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