entmoot [2008-05-13 02:13:34 +0000 UTC]
Wow...you may not think so, but I actually think this one is really good. You threw a few unique things in there that you don't usually have in your writing. I love "but this seems never ending, so comes more sleepless nights." Your writing keeps getting better. I do have one suggestion; it doesn't need a comma every line because that breaks it up a lot. I would find it easier to read if there were only commas when needed. That is of course, just me though. Lol. Anyways, great job on this and keep writing.
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