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FBW — Dark Thoughts [NSFW]
Published: 2007-08-09 07:03:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 44; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description Oh, the experience
The wonderful appearance
In his eyes

The choking sound
The fall to the ground
As he dies

The screams
Living out my dreams
At his expense

Needles and blades
As the moment escalates
He had no defense

Looking back now
I'm not sure how
He bled so much

A cut here
A cut there
With just the slightest touch

It was so thrilling
So exhilarating
I want to do it again

Just another whim
Another victim
Time to begin
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Comments: 14

some18kanal0n3 [2007-08-11 05:32:20 +0000 UTC]

My only guess, would be my "Memory Suicide " poem... But since I haven't been following you on dA, thats my best guess.

But my poem deals with being crazy/insane and yours of actions/desire(?). They have their differences.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to some18kanal0n3 [2007-08-12 02:30:03 +0000 UTC]

*scratches head* I just wanted to create something dark. It didn't have anything to do with any of your stuff.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

omoimasuyo [2007-08-10 14:24:40 +0000 UTC]

Hm. Interesting. But then again, my stories are just as disturbed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to omoimasuyo [2007-08-11 02:48:35 +0000 UTC]

Well, we're not in a competition, but thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

omoimasuyo In reply to FBW [2007-08-11 06:09:00 +0000 UTC]

I wouldn't have said we were. It's just a comparative statement and relative at that. In any case, it's good stuff.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to omoimasuyo [2007-08-12 02:31:40 +0000 UTC]

Oh...okay.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

some18kanal0n3 In reply to FBW [2007-08-11 05:33:52 +0000 UTC]

competition? You may want to check this stanze:

"Needles and blades
As the moment escalates
He had no defense"

The rhyming seems off... blades and escalates? I want to say escalade's soo bad

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to some18kanal0n3 [2007-08-12 02:33:02 +0000 UTC]

It's not a perfect rhyme, but a rhyme none-the-less. And, yeah, I wanted to say escalade as well, but thats a vehicle and not what I was going for.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

thexsharpestxlife [2007-08-09 15:31:06 +0000 UTC]

Aha. If I didn't "know" you better I'd say you needed to get your head checked out. But then again, I'm no one to talk - The Vengeance Poem, anyone?

I do like this. I think darkness becomes you, in a sense.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to thexsharpestxlife [2007-08-09 18:55:50 +0000 UTC]

It's almost as if you're telling me I'd make a good psychopath.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thexsharpestxlife In reply to FBW [2007-08-09 19:17:46 +0000 UTC]

Who says you wouldn't? Insofar as there could be such a thing...a good psychopath...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to thexsharpestxlife [2007-08-09 19:25:21 +0000 UTC]

The 'good' was meant that I'd be doing a great job of it, not that I would be a 'good' person.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thexsharpestxlife In reply to FBW [2007-08-09 23:06:22 +0000 UTC]

Then I respectfully submit that you might indeed make a good psychopath.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FBW In reply to thexsharpestxlife [2007-08-11 02:37:34 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0