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Description
The wedding was over.

I began comparing notes with the other band members over how well we had played the recessional music. We moaned over missed notes and flopped passages as the wedded couple started having their pictures taken.

My friends and I had been playing for an increasing number of weddings. Tackling the unusual demands for wedding music --- I distinctly remember composing a three-piece instrumental arrangement with a partner a few days before the wedding because the bride disliked the bridal march --- was both engaging and stressful. The gratitude of the couple in surprisingly monetary form was also a plus.

I was polishing my violin when an old relative approached me. We exchanged the usual greetings when he asked me the strangest thing.

"So, are you next?"

"Next?"

"To go down the aisle." No one had ever asked me that question before. I thought of answering seriously but decided to be contrary.

"Maybe in a year or two," I answered and was met with an alarmed grandfatherly stare.

"I'll be going down the aisle to get my college diploma by then," I clarified as he continued to sputter. Then we started to laugh.

That exchange stayed with me as an increasing number of well-meaning aunts inquired about my love life. It stayed with me when they all goodnaturedly accused me of lying when I said I had none. It especially stayed with me when my horrified nephew explained I had to find my soulmate NOW before I dried up into an old prune.

Maybe it's because my younger sister is "almost in a relationship". Or maybe it's because some of my friends have paired up and even gotten married.

It has definitely got something to do with turning twenty-one. I can hear older beings snorting over how young I really am. I agree, and conclude there's still plenty of time to explore life without the commitment of my other half.

I admit that I did have one near entrance into the world of romance and loving interdependency. I learned a lot about how to treat people and make room for them in my life. I also learned what I could not stand in a relationship, and I let myself out. And yes, we're still friends.

It comes down to my belief that dating is not a game. The physically and emotionally damaging relationships some friends have gotten into just don't interest me. I want a commitment that helps both people grow and is worth making effort over. I do not want my own soap opera with a stifling boyfriend who crumples my emotions as easily as tin foil.

Besides, my life is already brimming over without a guy in it. There are so many things I want to try. I'd also like to become a better person on my own before thinking of including someone else in my life. I'd like to be more responsible and more caring of the people already in my world.

So I guess I will be busy until that fellow enters my life. I believe God will make sure I meet whoever it's supposed to be at the right time. I don't have to desperately look for this elusive guy nor do I have to "cut up my heart into pieces so small and give them to those who don't care".* He'll come, and I'll be fine until then.

For now, I might as well relax and enjoy my wonderful life. I'll go out with friends, spend quality time with my loved ones, and learn more about myself. And I might just give copies of this work to all my concerned relatives. It will relieve them and save a lot of repetition about my future as an eccentric aging miss living with twenty-five cats.

*one of my favorite lines off Melee's "She's Gonna Find Me Here"

Description
The wedding was over.

I began comparing notes with the other band members over how well we had played the recessional music. We moaned over missed notes and flopped passages as the wedded couple started having their pictures taken.

My friends and I had been playing for an increasing number of weddings. Tackling the unusual demands for wedding music --- I distinctly remember composing a three-piece instrumental arrangement with a partner a few days before the wedding because the bride disliked the bridal march --- was both engaging and stressful. The gratitude of the couple in surprisingly monetary form was also a plus.

I was polishing my violin when an old relative approached me. We exchanged the usual greetings when he asked me the strangest thing.

"So, are you next?"

"Next?"

"To go down the aisle." No one had ever asked me that question before. I thought of answering seriously but decided to be contrary.

"Maybe in a year or two," I answered and was met with an alarmed grandfatherly stare.

"I'll be going down the aisle to get my college diploma by then," I clarified as he continued to sputter. Then we started to laugh.

That exchange stayed with me as an increasing number of well-meaning aunts inquired about my love life. It stayed with me when they all goodnaturedly accused me of lying when I said I had none. It especially stayed with me when my horrified nephew explained I had to find my soulmate NOW before I dried up into an old prune.

Maybe it's because my younger sister is "almost in a relationship". Or maybe it's because some of my friends have paired up and even gotten married.

It has definitely got something to do with turning twenty-one. I can hear older beings snorting over how young I really am. I agree, and conclude there's still plenty of time to explore life without the commitment of my other half.

I admit that I did have one near entrance into the world of romance and loving interdependency. I learned a lot about how to treat people and make room for them in my life. I also learned what I could not stand in a relationship, and I let myself out. And yes, we're still friends.

It comes down to my belief that dating is not a game. The physically and emotionally damaging relationships some friends have gotten into just don't interest me. I want a commitment that helps both people grow and is worth making effort over. I do not want my own soap opera with a stifling boyfriend who crumples my emotions as easily as tin foil.

Besides, my life is already brimming over without a guy in it. There are so many things I want to try. I'd also like to become a better person on my own before thinking of including someone else in my life. I'd like to be more responsible and more caring of the people already in my world.

So I guess I will be busy until that fellow enters my life. I believe God will make sure I meet whoever it's supposed to be at the right time. I don't have to desperately look for this elusive guy nor do I have to "cut up my heart into pieces so small and give them to those who don't care".* He'll come, and I'll be fine until then.

For now, I might as well relax and enjoy my wonderful life. I'll go out with friends, spend quality time with my loved ones, and learn more about myself. And I might just give copies of this work to all my concerned relatives. It will relieve them and save a lot of repetition about my future as an eccentric aging miss living with twenty-five cats.

*one of my favorite lines off Melee's "She's Gonna Find Me Here"