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You ever been in a really bad spot in life? Like, financially, mentally, and physically? Where your pride is all shriveled up like wet newspaper and any shame you had is cast to the wind?

You ever needed money so bad that you start becoming way too desperate and will jump at opportunity to make some cash? But your desperation puts you in an even worse position?

Well.. I'm in that situation. And if I want to stop my eviction, fix my car, and get out of this mess, I'm going to have to be up this bitch's ass for the next two weeks. I get shipped out today...

Hi, my name is Matthew. And I'm a Fart Filter.
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Ugh, you ever been in a really bad spot in life? Where you hate everyone and everyone hates you? You ever walk down the halls of your high school and everyone points and laughs and calls you dumb fucking names like "Smelly Ellie" or "Gassy Cassie"? Those aren't even my names. My fucking name is Beth.

But nooooo. No one even cares to learn my name because for one, I'm not very approachable. My favorite color is black and my clothing shows it. Yeah, yeah, you could label me as some lame emo poser but I don't even know if you can call me that! Even the OTHER emo kids shun me! It's so fucked!

The other reason? I've got really... Reaaaaaally bad stomach issues. I'm fucking gassy more often that not, and when I'm in school and my guts feel like they're about to pop, I need to let loose. And the nice cherry on top is that it reeks. All the time. I've cleared out classrooms, and my stupid fucking calculus teacher gave me a detention because I farted during an exam! And then, that same day, I went to detention and I still had gas I couldn't hold, I ended up farting some more. And I got another detention. IN detention! I mean, what the FUCK, man!

Gas-X? Doesn't work. Beano? Nope. Change of diet? No luck either. It felt like I was just destined to be "that emo chick with bad gas" for the rest of my days.

Yeah, until I found this thing online called Fart Filters.. I got a free trial one, I get to keep it for two weeks. It should be here in the next few days.

God, I hope this works. And why the fuck is this thing labelled Matthew?

Description
You ever been in a really bad spot in life? Like, financially, mentally, and physically? Where your pride is all shriveled up like wet newspaper and any shame you had is cast to the wind?

You ever needed money so bad that you start becoming way too desperate and will jump at opportunity to make some cash? But your desperation puts you in an even worse position?

Well.. I'm in that situation. And if I want to stop my eviction, fix my car, and get out of this mess, I'm going to have to be up this bitch's ass for the next two weeks. I get shipped out today...

Hi, my name is Matthew. And I'm a Fart Filter.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ugh, you ever been in a really bad spot in life? Where you hate everyone and everyone hates you? You ever walk down the halls of your high school and everyone points and laughs and calls you dumb fucking names like "Smelly Ellie" or "Gassy Cassie"? Those aren't even my names. My fucking name is Beth.

But nooooo. No one even cares to learn my name because for one, I'm not very approachable. My favorite color is black and my clothing shows it. Yeah, yeah, you could label me as some lame emo poser but I don't even know if you can call me that! Even the OTHER emo kids shun me! It's so fucked!

The other reason? I've got really... Reaaaaaally bad stomach issues. I'm fucking gassy more often that not, and when I'm in school and my guts feel like they're about to pop, I need to let loose. And the nice cherry on top is that it reeks. All the time. I've cleared out classrooms, and my stupid fucking calculus teacher gave me a detention because I farted during an exam! And then, that same day, I went to detention and I still had gas I couldn't hold, I ended up farting some more. And I got another detention. IN detention! I mean, what the FUCK, man!

Gas-X? Doesn't work. Beano? Nope. Change of diet? No luck either. It felt like I was just destined to be "that emo chick with bad gas" for the rest of my days.

Yeah, until I found this thing online called Fart Filters.. I got a free trial one, I get to keep it for two weeks. It should be here in the next few days.

God, I hope this works. And why the fuck is this thing labelled Matthew?