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festivemanb — Love dances, unmatched

Published: 2004-12-17 20:15:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 347; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 37
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Description You speak to me in the language of love,
through your eyes, your breath, your touch.
But I’m not really sure what you speak of.

It’s ghostly, made of spindle-silk, I can’t believe
what I would say.  But still I must:
I speak to you in the language of love.

A candlelit dinner.  We pass the time… we leave.
But while our hearts have danced in circles – unmatched,
we’re not that sure what we even spoke of.

Electricity, silk, we hide under covers
and pillow ourselves in eachother against everydays’ rush.
You speak to me in the language of love.

Of what we could: we’ve half.
Our sweetest thoughts shy from voice.  Instead: calendar, weather.
(We know that there are better things we could talk of.)

We both stop.  I want to kiss you.  The thought hovers above,
waiting.  We dance through five rooms before falling on this couch.
We speak to each other in the language of love
and we almost admit what we speak of.
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Comments: 5

Dancri [2005-10-19 10:29:15 +0000 UTC]

The tone and message are all too beautiful. It's not everyday someone uses a villanele. Kudos.

"Study never taught a poet anything except how to be obscure."
Is not obscurity the best tool a poet has? The enigma of perspective is where fun hides.

Have a nice day.
-D

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muddpuddle [2004-12-20 21:41:25 +0000 UTC]

the rhythm is just like a dance. it makes me see video clips in my head of coupls in evening gowns dancing through an empty house to music only they can hear...such clear images.
its people like you that make me want to take poetry classes so i can write like this! i dont know what this style is or if you told me what it would mean. so frustrating sometimes! ^.^
excellent!

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festivemanb In reply to muddpuddle [2004-12-21 06:10:35 +0000 UTC]

The secret of poetry is definitlty not study. It's passion. Study never taught a poet anything except how to be obscure.
The form is a villanelle, it originates from French dances. The problem: English has far fewer rhyming words than French, so it makes it a particualrly difficult form. Me making it more difficult by making the rhyming words touch and love. Which suck, I have to tell you. If you wanna see how I did it scan the poem's meter and see how I rely on half rhymes (and a quarter rhyme somewhere) to make sense. There are a couple of secrets in there if you look hard enough.

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muddpuddle In reply to festivemanb [2004-12-22 01:01:17 +0000 UTC]

sweet...learn something new everyday. thankyou!

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arevendent [2004-12-18 19:48:29 +0000 UTC]

The structure suits the writing so well that it makes me want to cry. The rythym seems to be ultra refined in all except the second paragraph..
The ideas within the writing are ...addictive.

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