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festivemanb — Sonnet: airports

Published: 2004-10-29 05:49:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 263; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 12
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Description I had never known the dolor of car seats
or macadam’d roads with morning breaking
until now.  I drove to the airport.  You slept
beside me, sometimes dreaming, sometimes waking.
I was afraid to dream as our first sunrise
woke unseen behind us.  I kept my eyes on the highway,
let myself guilty glances of you.  Longed to kiss
your neck again, and linger another day
in your kindness.  I was lost when I left.
I was a thought as I walked alone
into the airport.  Your eyes were gone.  Again the rift
of maps and telephones overcame us.  And you drove home.

But we are more than today, sweet friend.
While time has stolen us, we will not end.
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Comments: 4

Chaosarashi [2005-01-16 18:05:47 +0000 UTC]

Very nice job though there are several lines that have more or less han ten syllables in them and the stressed/unstressed pattern seems a bit off so I'm not so sure it qualifies as a sonnet. Not that that really matters. But i might say work on that if you're really attached to the idea of having it be a sonnet.

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muddpuddle [2004-11-07 01:23:17 +0000 UTC]

The punctuation throws the timing off. Aren't sonnets all about rhythm? Correct me if I'm wrong, I honestly have only a vague idea.

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WhiteHart [2004-10-31 07:49:11 +0000 UTC]

Well done, Brendan!
I enjoyed it all, especially lines 10-13

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faintedlife [2004-10-29 15:48:49 +0000 UTC]

Great sonnet, Brendan! I can say I've had moments depicted in this sonnet, too. Your pieces keep on improving, at least from the standpoint of a business major.

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