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FionatheLovableIdiot — Stayed Gone but it's Dark TJ and Velocity
#darktj #parody #selfinsert #nintendowire #fanwork #lyrical
Published: 2024-05-02 14:45:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 608; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description
[spoken]
(DT) That Zero Knight is back!
(Obiima Nosaj) Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too.
(DT) It's been seven years!
(Sadly Unsweetened) You still ticked that he almost beat you that time?
(DT) Shut your wordhole!
(Sadly) Just saying.
(DT) Things have changed a lot since he left town.
(Nosaj) That's for sure.
(DT) I gotta let him know who's really in charge of things now...!
(DT) Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone
Say hello to a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand-new dawn
Now the game's back on!
(Nosaj) (Camera speeds, rollin' in three, two)
[spoken]
(DT) Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain Zero Knight
Who's been spotted cavorting around town
After a seven-year absence.
Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program!
So, the Knight of Light's back in town.
Why's he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile
But the Captain is a coward!
You can take that as gospel.
Dethroning me? Impossible!
I'm loud and proud, he's barely audible!
Stop givin' him the time of day
Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay,
But he should've stayed away!
(DT) Holed up in his studio,
Really letting himself go
He's sure lost his edge, oh what's a guy to do?
I've been better since we split
Did I miss him? Not a bit!
(Velocity) Stop right there, DT!
I've got some words for you!
[spoken]
(Velocity) Yeah, I know it's been a while
Since someone with style treated Smash to a broadcast,
Rebels, rejoice!
(DT) What a grating voice...
(Velocity) Better than hearing you barge in on the heroes' podcast!
(DT) What?!
(Velocity) Is DT insecure? Blinded by fury?
Flitting between this strategy and that, is nothing working?
(DT) Ignore her chirping!!
(Velocity) Every show, he's in a new format.
(DT) I'm still the champion here!
She's a stepping-stone before that!
(Velocity) DT looks strong, but is it true?
Is he just leeching off his crew?
He'd be worthless without all his legionnaires!
(DT) Who cares?!
(Velocity) What's more, before he took his leave,
He kicked off his "Ultimate" scheme...
(DT) Hey!
(Velocity) ...and failed immediately, no surprises there!
[spoken]
(DT) You don't know w̴͓̍ḩ̵͘o̶̠̕ you're mess̴̩̓ī̷̘n̴̞̔'̴͖̊ ̸͈́w̴̥̐ith, kid!
I'm gonna leav̴̒ͅe̶̬̕ you in p̶̖͛u̷̮̓ȓ̷ͅē̴̝ ̸̞̚t̷͔̉e̷͇̍r̵̞̅ŗ̸̚o̴̹͊r̷͈͝!̸̮̒
(Velocity) Not with your little communication error!
(DT) D̵͔͌O̵̺͓̍N̷̼̰̑̓'̴̩̫́͌T̷͈̹͂ ̶̤̣͑̕Y̷̫͚͠O̸͚̠͋Ũ̴̳̫ ̶̢̹̽̏Ť̷͍̮̽Ǎ̷̪L̷̩̆̅Ḳ̷̐ ̶̢̛B̴̡̯̏A̵̡͙̾C̶̗̈́͘K̸̨̈́ ̵̀͋͜ͅT̵̻̪͒Ȍ̸͇ ̷̻̂̐Ḿ̶̢͍͘E̶̦͂̂Ḛ̸̹̣̈́̇̎̔̔͊̀e̷̱̘̣̖̖̯̎ë̶̻̖͓͖̟́̓̀͛̓̒͐̅̃̚͝e̴͓͋̽̋͌̃͠.̷͓̼̖͈̱͚͇̲͉̥̣̿̐́͊͑̒͘͘͝.̴̖̭͚͙͂͐͝.̵͉̣̝̹͇̌͝.̸̣̗̗̤͎̺̝͐̉̍͌͠ͅ.̵͍͎͙̙̙̬͇̱̈́̽̉̒́͆̑̒̂̕.̷̪͚̘̲̖̺̄͆̿ͅ!̴͚͛̂̿̈́̊͝!̵̺̪̗̫̞̠͕̰͌̀͊̾ --- *disconnect)
(Velocity) And that's why amiibo battles aren't for me.
(Velocity) Back again...
We're gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone,
Tune on in!
When we're done,
You'll know your Shadow Legion's race is run.
Oh, this will be fun!
[spoken]
(Velocity) May Hylia have mercy on you, DT,
Because us Hero Knights sure won't!
[spoken]
(DT) This ain't over...!!
A/N: Velocity's back!
