jonzoiplu [2007-01-23 02:22:47 +0000 UTC]

it's beautiful i might suggest a few changes though, if you might endure my cheeky opinion. if not, you're free to your poetic license i merely suggest a few changes in spacing, for the purpose of enjambment; so this is merely a suggestion, something you could do:

<>

With water
and earth I painted
your face, with scarlet lips
I kissed it. You're the sacred
art of mine, ever
since born, angels
blessed it.



again, you can do wondrous things with words, to make a flowing visual aspect, conjure up emotions, and all that jazz. keep up the good work

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