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flowerfairy — Dancing man
Published: 2004-09-12 12:53:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 137; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 3
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Description I saw the dancing man yesterday
dancing
he smiled at me as I walked past
still dancing
but I heard no music,
heard no beat
he told me that he was dancing
"obviously" i said
he nodded his head
still dancing
but still no music
"I am dancing to the tune of the rain drops
falling on the leaves" he said
nodding his head
still dancing
I watched him for a while
his movement so smooth
I sat for a while to think
he still danced
his hands high above his head
"do you like my dance?"
he said
I nodded I began to dance
my movement so smooth
almost syncronized with his
i stopped and listened the rain was no more
but still he danced
"I am dancing to the rhythm of my heart" he said
nodding his head
still dancing
"music isn't needed" he said
i nodded my head
and started dancing
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Comments: 3

disordinated [2004-11-29 20:58:06 +0000 UTC]

good story! I love the subtlety of content and the straightforwardness of the style. maybe you could try substituting other words for "dancing" sometimes, some more frothy words like "writhing" or just "moving"... it seems like the word dancing is overpowering the beauty of the thought just be being used so much. And what a beautiful thought!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

flowerfairy In reply to disordinated [2004-12-13 15:40:05 +0000 UTC]

well thank you very much

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

conker-catcher [2004-10-20 17:18:03 +0000 UTC]

i dont get it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0