disordinated [2004-11-29 20:58:06 +0000 UTC]
good story! I love the subtlety of content and the straightforwardness of the style. maybe you could try substituting other words for "dancing" sometimes, some more frothy words like "writhing" or just "moving"... it seems like the word dancing is overpowering the beauty of the thought just be being used so much. And what a beautiful thought!
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