Comments: 11
nalathequeen2186 [2020-04-10 20:28:00 +0000 UTC]
Aww, I'm glad it was just a nightmare in the end. Poor Piper, sounds like she's been through hell.
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FluentInStroll In reply to nalathequeen2186 [2020-04-10 21:46:47 +0000 UTC]
Yeah I definitely think she's been through a lot! <3 Thank you so much for reading!
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sushi4427 [2020-04-09 01:43:06 +0000 UTC]
You did a great job as always but
I feel like I should point this line out
“NMMMPH!” Shane shook his head, pleading as he pulled feebly on his chains, exhaustion and fear taking over.
Shane's a superhero??? Finally, he can be less useless!
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FluentInStroll In reply to sushi4427 [2020-04-09 02:09:58 +0000 UTC]
OH NOOOO
I did that SO many times while I was writing it, and I thought I had found them all! For some reason, Saturn = Shane in terms of my writing, I have NO idea how, but it was like, a big problem when I was writig this! LOL. Thanks for letting me know! I have now fixed it.
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sushi4427 In reply to FluentInStroll [2020-04-09 02:11:37 +0000 UTC]
No problem lol, I thought it was hilarious when I read it. And I'm hardly one to talk, if I wrote something it's probably riddled with typos unless I read through it a few times.
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FluentInStroll In reply to sushi4427 [2020-04-09 02:13:58 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I thought it was funny that I kept doing it! I KNEW I should have done the find and replace, but I was lke "nah, I'll find them all in edits." Joke's on me, I guess! Lol.
My main edit move lately has been to find and change 90% of my "smirks" to something else.
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FluentInStroll In reply to sushi4427 [2020-04-09 02:16:50 +0000 UTC]
SUCCESS! Aside from Shane Harper now apparently existing everywhere from House Sitter to D&D to the Super Hero realm, I think overall this was edited...a little better?
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sushi4427 In reply to FluentInStroll [2020-04-09 02:18:01 +0000 UTC]
Poor Shane, the only place he's not actually helpful is in his own story. But yes, I'd say this was well edited! I didn't notice anything aside from that one time Saturn was called Shane, and you know what they say about good editing: you shouldn't even know it's there
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FluentInStroll In reply to sushi4427 [2020-04-09 02:55:00 +0000 UTC]
Haha, yeah...hey, Shane may still prove useful in his own story..maybe. Lol.
And yesss! SUCCESS!
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sushi4427 In reply to FluentInStroll [2020-04-09 04:02:41 +0000 UTC]
Poor guy really gives it his all, what more could you ask for 8')
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